As she ought to have guessed, her fears were completely groundless. Monique, after regaining her breath, lifted Jean's face gently away from her crotch.
“That was so wonderful!” the girl murmured. “So very wonderful, Jean! Please — let me do the same for you. I'd like to kiss you so much!”
Jean raised her eyes to Monique's, gratitude and desire naked on her face. “Oh, Monique!” she sighed. “Would you? Would you really? It means so much to me, you know — so very much!”
The girl, flushed and still breathing heavily, helped Jean to slide up the bed on top of her again by putting her hands under the woman's armpits. “I want to make you happy, Jean", she told the girl softly. “The way you've made me happy! I would do anything for you now, darling — you know that, don't you? Anything in the world! No one has ever given me so much love and pleasure — no one! You're the first person I have ever felt this way about, Jean. The very first!”
As Jean's arms went around Monique again and she joined her lips to the girl's, a strange feeling of power seemed to light up in her mind. “I would do anything in the world for you…” Monique's words echoed again and again, resounding with a meaning — or the possibility of a meaning — which Jean could not yet grasp.
If it were true, if Monique really felt so strongly towards her and the girl's words weren't merely the result of a momentary passion, could it be barely possible that… That Monique might help her to make Michael her lover again?
The scarcely tangible notion seemed fantastic, the product of an over-heated and long frustrated imagination. In any case, how could Monique help her? What could she possibly do that Jean herself hadn't tried? Intrigues such as she was beginning to entertain simply didn't happen in the rarefied stockbroker belt of Surrey! They couldn't! The vague and ethereal hope was too impossibly romantic, too novelettish. She had been reading too many magazine stories.
And yet… Jean opened her eyes a little and looked into Monique's gentle face. Even if the scheme she worked out was a total failure, what possible harm could it do to attempt something which might make Michael her husband in more than just name?
Monique, she knew perfectly well, meant very little to her. If the girl was hurt — that was too bad! She was a sweet and passionate child who had given her a great deal of pleasure: but there was nothing more to it than that. There were far more important things to consider than the emotions of an au pair girl.
She would turn the matter over carefully in her mind, Jean decided. Meantime, just in case she did put some sort of intrigue into operation, it was clearly important that Monique felt as close to her and as dependent on her as possible. And Jean knew of only one sure way in which this could be achieved…
As she returned her full attention back to the girl, Jean realised with a guilty stab of shame that she was being completely ruthless in manipulating Monique's emotions. No better than Michael, in fact.
Yet, she quickly assured herself, Monique was very young — she would soon get over any heartache which their association might cause her. Whereas she, Jean, had to grab at anything which promised to bring her happiness. Her time was rapidly running out… She was well over thirty and had relatively few years left of sexual attraction. She owed it to herself to make the most of them.
And in any case, the words “I love you” which she'd breathed to Monique during their intimate moments weren't entirely a lie. Perhaps she had murmured them in a fit of blind passion — at a time when she felt an overwhelming gratitude towards the girl for helping her to recapture the joys of sex — but nevertheless there must be at least an element of truth in them.
Jean realised at this point in her rapid assessment of her feelings that her mind was a frightening network of disconnected and clashing impulses. Her motives in initiating the affair with Monique seemed terrifyingly ambiguous; she could no longer distinguish between her genuine desires and the ones which she was supposedly acting-out.
For a moment or two Jean felt utterly, totally unsure of herself. What did she want? Was it really Michael? Monique?
Or perhaps neither of them… She forced her thoughts away from the horrible white pit which yawned in front of her. It threatened to engulf her completely, to swallow her up in a horrifying maze of indecision.
She gripped Monique's body tightly, clinging almost desperately to the girl as she fought her way back to sanity. “I must hold on to reality", she repeated over and over to herself. “And reality means Michael… it does, it does! It means having Michael close to me again! And the only way I can win him back is through Monique!”
Jean gradually drew away from the chasm of ambivalence. She sought refuge in the soft warmth of Monique's body, pushing herself against the girl until she could almost feel her flesh merging into Monique's. Slowly, the throbbing in her mind subsided, leaving Jean with a sharp, insatiable desire to make love — passionate, urgent, demanding love…
3
She pressed her fingers into the bare skin of Monique's back, running them up and down the white flesh in a firm, massaging caress. How smooth Monique's shoulders felt! Jean's hands glided upwards to them, spending long, languorous moments just touching the gentle curves.
The sensation of Jean's fingers on her shoulders seemed to fire Monique with an intense lust — as if the caress of the woman's fingers at that particular place triggered off an erotic response in the girl.
Realising that she had found an especially vulnerable spot, Jean increased the pressure of her hands there. She turned her fingers around and around, making Monique's shoulders move under them, the soft flesh rippling under her touch. Monique squirmed against her, the girl moaning into Jean's ear: “I was supposed to give you pleasure this time, darling!” she sighed. “Instead, you're getting me all excited again!”
Jean continued her fondling of the beautiful shoulders, now increasing the pressure of her fingers so that Monique's naked skin was gripped tightly under her constantly moving hands.
“It doesn't matter, Monique", she whispered. “As long as I can feel your wonderful flesh against me — nude and warm… That's all I want!”
She felt the girl's quick intake of breath as Monique gladly snuggled even closer to her; the points of her nipples meeting Jean's as their breasts pushed firmly together. Further down, Jean could also feel the soft heat of Monique's tummy as the girl thrust herself forward — making their voluptuous female flesh press closely and intimately.
Carefully, the girls arranged themselves so that every part of their bodies touched: their thighs strained against each other, their hips blended sweetly — and their respective cunt-crotches merged so tightly that Jean could feel the warm, wet lips of Monique's quim thrusting into her own.
They began to writhe gently together, rocking in a delirious, slow-motion ecstasy on the bed, bodies locked as closely as possible.
As Jean continued to massage the roundness of Monique's shoulders, the girl allowed her own hands to slip slowly down Jean's back — fingers caressing the delicate, sensitive spine; up and down, returning again and again to Jean's bottom but always roaming away from the cheeks again just before they descended fully on the woman's arse-crease.
Then, gathering up two large handfuls of Jean's luxuriant black hair, Monique began to rub the woman's back with it. She gently stroked the bunched-up hair all the way down Jean's naked skin — running her fingers slowly through the strands until they were drawn almost to the opening of the woman's bottom.