''Baby ducks, they are the main reason I left this place and, you may remember, said I didn't want to come back. Ever.''
Kris had read up on Eden. The Chamber of Commerce had been rosy. The embassy handout was as optimistic as they come. The financial reports, even those available to a major stockholder in Nuu Enterprises said things couldn't be better.
So why last night's little escapade?
One report on Eden was missing. Abby's personal views. She hinted plenty, but when pushed, went silent. Just like now.
Kris pushed back from the table, her eyes narrowing. Around her, the group fell silent. Down the way from them, the table where Commander Malhoney was telling one of his long, rambling jokes broke into chuckles as he finally reached his punch line. He fit his undress whites like a small whale might, bulges here and there. In any Navy still applying up-or-out, he would long ago have been out. But the expansion left room for men who had reached a certain level even if they never would exceed it. Now his table fell into the silence, furtively looking Kris's way.
Her Highness weighed the benefits of keeping secrets verses what she'd gain by inviting the whole crew into what lay ahead of her. She tossed a coin mentally and made her choice.
''I was told,'' Kris said slowly, voice low. The hush now spread from the officers to the enlisted. Even at the steam tables, the clatter seemed to continue on kitten toes. ''That I'd made the Rim too dangerous for me. I was told that Eden was about the only place I could walk the streets in peace.
''Then last night it turns out I can't even take a piss without someone trying to perforate me.'' There were soft chuckles at that. Marine Gunnery Sergeant Brown turned to the staff sergeant who'd had the duty last night; they exchanged winks.
''The last time Grampa Ray gave me one set of orders but dumped me into a totally different stew, it turned out that I was supposed to cook that stew and ignore the orders.'' Around her, there were grins at her family reference to King Raymond I, but the grins were quickly swallowed as Kris finished her thought.
''Since Eden clearly isn't the advertised paradise, I find myself wondering what I'm really supposed to get done here?''
5
By the time Kris presented herself in undress whites for the ambassador's pleasure, she had spent an hour on the phone with Administrative Lieutenant Martinez. He was as helpful as his cheerful smile promised, but it was clear his job was to see that all the T's were crossed, I's dotted, and no firearms permit issued without a tree sacrificed to the paperwork god.
''We need full documentation of no less than three attempts on your life,'' he said, apparently reading from policy displayed right beside Kris's face on his old computer screen. Kris had long ago noticed that most bureaucrats found old technology far more to their liking than the new stuff.
''Three assassination attempts.'' Kris tried to sound thoughtful rather than outraged. ''I imagine that cuts down on the requests. Those that don't survive the first couple don't trouble your day much do they.''
''No, ah, they don't.'' Lieutenant Martinez had the good sense to at least look apologetic.
''Does last night's shoot-out count as one? Can I just send you two more?''
''Last night?'' he said, glancing offscreen. ''I don't have any report of an attempt on your life. My morning report says everything was quiet last night.''
Which left Kris wondering what it took for the powers that be in this burg to admit there had been a major can of worms crawling around their streets, shooting off automatic weapons. If last night was quiet, did it take the use of a long-forgotten fusion bomb to get noticed. Is this part of why I'm here?
Kris turned to Abby. ''I'm sure your reports contain several attempts on my life. Would you be kind enough to forward them to Lieutenant Martinez.''
''I usually charge for such releases,'' Abby primly said.
''Put it on my bill,'' Kris growled. ''Send six of them.''
''Six,'' squeaked from the wall screen Kris was addressing.
''Just six. Abby, have you filled out the basic form?''
''Yes, Your Highness,'' the maid said as if on cue.
''It would be a shame if you had to explain to King Raymond, formerly President Ray Longknife of the Society of Humanity, how it came that I got killed on Eden because me and my escort couldn't shoot back.''
''President Longknife. You're related to him!''
''He's my great-grandfather.''
His ''Oh'' took a minute for Martinez to swallow. ''And you want an escort.''
''My Chief of Security, First Lieutenant Montoya, and at least four other people on my immediate staff. I will also have six Marines rotating in and out of my protection detail. Maybe more in some instances.''
''When you are granted a permit, it covers your bodyguards,'' Martinez muttered.
''You don't have cause to grant many of these, do you?''
''Most requests are legacies. Your father had a permit, so you are authorized one when you move outside his secured area. Your father or mother was a registered bodyguard and you are accepted into one of the guilds. That sort of thing.''
More information that didn't make it into Kris's official briefings. NELLY, REMIND ME TO LOOK INTO THE SERVICES OF SUCH AGENCIES.
I AM ALREADY SEARCHING. THEY ARE NOT LISTED IN THE PUBLIC DATABASE.
Curiouser and curiouser.
The call went long, but it left Kris with only five minutes to cool her heels…and think…in the ambassador's outer office before the staff meeting collapsed and she was invited into the inner holy of holies.
''The ambassador will see you now,'' his secretary said, a fellow in a three-piece business suit that made him look more like an ambassador than a secretary. But then the entire outer office was overblown in wood desks, expensive wallpaper, and carved filigree.
The ambassador's office was even more palatial. But Kris had seen where the king of a hundred planets lived…and he needed none of this folderol. But he was Ray Longknife—that Ray Longknife—and he needed little display to highlight his power.
Ambassador VanDerFund apparently felt the need for display. Kris wondered how many other people knew it was all borrowed.
The embassy was known locally as Brown House, not because any streak of brown showed on its façade but because a certain Mr. Brown had built it to display the wealth he'd made on Eden in the first century of its colonization. Several of the first landers had built similar mansions near the center of town before land got so expensive. The great-great-grandkids now preferred to make their show of wealth farther out…some complete with hunting forests. Most in-town places, like Mr. Brown's, were taken over for other uses.
This was not the only one that had become an embassy. Somewhere across town, Greenfeld had an even bigger white elephant to feed Henry Peterwald the XII's ego.
''Mr. Ambassador,'' Kris said, with a nod.
''Your Highness,'' Samuel VanDerFund said with a slight bow that didn't make it past his chin. Dressed in a suit his secretary might have ordered, his aquiline face, graying hair, and other auroras of strength and power were cut short, literally, by his five and a half feet of stature. Kris placed his age at eighty. Back then, there had been an unforeseen genetic blunder attached to offspring bioengineered for just such qualities Sammy exuded. Short stature. Oh, and a sensitivity that went with it. No one called him Sammy to his face.
Maybe a princess could, but Kris wasn't interested in finding out.
Today, Sammy was also short-tempered. He went directly from ''Your Highness,'' with no further preamble, to ''What were you trying to do, get us all declared persona non grata on this planet? I was warned that you don't seem to care that there are half a dozen planets that you cannot return to, but some of us have the honor of representing Wardhaven and its growing alliance on planets like Eden. And we don't want to leave.''