“Right,” he said in disbelief resting back against the corner of the desk and turning to face her.
Lexi stood brushing the cobwebs out of her mind. She took a turn around the room trying to process what this new information meant besides the fact that it seemed everyone was lying to her in some way. What more could she find out to make matters worse? She finally settled her mind, and walked back to Jack. “I don’t know how we got onto this subject, but Ramsey is not the reason I barged into your office to speak with you.”
Jack waited. “What’s the reason then?”
Lexi took a deep breath before starting. “I’m leaving tonight for New York, and I need to know what’s going on…with us,” she said the last part unsure if she really wanted the answer. At the same time, she knew that she would never be able to leave Atlanta happy without answers.
Jack sighed and buried his head in his hands. “Always back to this conversation.”
“It’s the only one that seems to matter,” she said standing her ground in front of him.
“Lexi, I have a whole life here. I have more than a few loose ends to tie up.”
“What about everything you said?” Lexi asked her voice quivering.
“What do you want me to say, Lex?”
“What about the goddamn truth?” she cried throwing her hands in the air. “Do you want to be with me? You said that you did. Was that all a lie too?”
“It wasn’t a lie. I just…I want to be with you when I’m with you, but when you’re gone I doubt everything. We have too much history, Lex. You know that. I don’t know what’s been going on with us lately, and,” he took a deep breath, “I don’t know if I can leave my life behind.”
“So, this is it then?” she asked, their history the only thing keeping her from collapsing.
“I don’t know…”
“No, don’t fucking do that. Make up your mind already,” she cried rushing forward and pressing herself against his chest.
He instinctively wrapped his arms around her body and held her against him. She breathed into him pushing her hands up his chest and around his neck. “We have to figure this stuff out.”
Jack pulled back from her holding her face softly between his strong hands and staring into her confused brown eyes. “I know we do.”
“I can’t do this anymore,” she told him closing her eyes as his thumb trailed down her cheek.
“Can’t do what anymore?” a voice asked walking into the room behind them.
Lexi jumped back at the sound of the voice. Jack immediately released Lexi’s face dropping his hands to his sides. She tried to hide the expression on her face, but there was no point. Bekah had to know something was up by now.
“Hey, babe. When did you get here?” Jack asked hesitantly.
“Just a little while ago. Hey, Lexi,” Bekah said cheerfully.
“Bekah,” Lexi said nodding her head in greeting.
“Are you here about the news?” Bekah asked smiling as politely as ever as she strolled into the room. Her naturally blonde hair had recently been highlighted and fell down to her chest as pin straight as ever. She wore a crisp white pencil skirt with a baby pink silk blouse that tied up around her neck making a bow. A white suit jacket was folded in half over her left arm. She looked like a vision of perfection, and it made Lexi sick.
“Uh…news?” Lexi asked glancing between Jack and Bekah.
“Didn’t Jack tell you?”
“Apparently not,” she uttered anxiously.
Bekah held up left hand and squealed with joy. “We’re getting married.”
Lexi gasped as she looked at the cut of the ring in front of her. It seemed so familiar, but...it couldn’t be. He wouldn’t.
CHAPTER 25
PRESENT
She was seeing spots.
Anger so fierce came over Lexi she couldn’t even see properly. Every negative emotion that she had ever conjured up combined seemed insignificant compared to this feeling. She could remember a time when she thought things could be right with her and Jack. Now it seemed like that was such a very long time ago. How could she have ever told herself things were going to be alright? She now knew with every ounce of her being that there was absolutely nothing left of the man she had once loved.
Where had the fun, easy going guy that worked in the coffee shop and brought her muffins after class gone? Where was the guy who had taken her to the carnival and paid the guy to stop them on the top? Where was the guy who got her on the gymnastics team, who marveled in her every achievement, who followed her to New York, who would have followed her to the world’s end? Had that man left a long time ago, and she had just missed it?
A part of her, and she wasn’t sure how large that part was, realized that this was her fault. Her continual desire for him had only pushed him to compensate for her affections. They had been playing this game for six years now, and it had changed him. He couldn’t hold back any longer. He lacked self-control and his selfish and self-righteous behavior only intensified his demeanor. Somewhere in their past, they had mutually agreed that cheating was somehow alright. She didn’t know where that began, if it was the first time he had asked her out, the first time she had gone to see him knowing she wasn’t available, or that moment on the pier, which changed everything, but it had begun.
And that’s how she knew this moment in time was partly her fault. The sex before the proposal was like old times all over again. She had attempted to fight him, but she couldn’t fight Jack. When he was persistent, and damn was he persistent, he got what he wanted. That is how it had always been. That is how she had let it become. Cheating was as much a part of them as breathing, no matter how much Lexi tried to fight it.
However, she had made it pretty clear, up until last night, that she had realized her mistake and wasn’t going to continue on that path. If Jack hadn’t ran in New York, she would have taken some time away from him. She had wanted to show him that what he had done was not right. They had cheated and deluded themselves into thinking it was alright, but it wasn’t and it never would be.
But the other part of her knew that this was just as much Jack’s fault, if not more. He had been the first to cheat. He had been the first to tell her that it was always going to be okay, that they could just be friends, that it didn’t matter what they had done, rather what they felt. He had never given up.
And up until today, she thought he had always kept that one important promise that had saved them through so many battles. He had promised that he would never lie to her. Through everything, he had told her exactly what was going on and exactly what happened. He had even told her when he had cheated on her. Yet, she realized, through her mind clouded with anger, Jack had lied to her all along.
Because he had always said that he wanted to be with Lexi, and it was pretty obvious now that that was simply not the case.
The memory of Jack pulling out an exquisite wedding ring and all but proposing was still fresh in her mind. She could remember every little emotion she had felt that day from his confession, to her depression, to his attempt at making amends.
And now her ring, her ring, was on that bony, blonde bitch’s finger.
Lexi reared back and with every ounce of force she possessed in her tiny body slapped Jack clear across the face. His head snapped sideways with the momentum of her strike. Her breathing was heavy and uncontrollable fury was ricocheting throughout her entire body. She could hear Jack’s ragged breaths in front of her, but she couldn’t even stand the sight of him after what he had done. She heard Bekah gasp and rush forward as if to do something about what had happened, but something in Lexi’s eyes must have stopped her in her tracks. Lexi wasn’t certain what she looked like in that moment, but she was sure it wasn’t something that anyone would want to deal with.