"She told you that she miscarried?" he asked grunting angrily. It's like he hadn't even heard the rest of the things that she had said. It was as if he had stopped listening after that one word. His nostrils were flared and his face was beat red with anger. Lexi had never seen him this furious. Even that one time on New Years when he had completely lost his temper, he had never looked like this. "Of course she would tell her side that way."
"What are you getting at Ramsey?" she asked her pent up anger so forceful she could practically see red spots in front of her eyes.
"She had an abortion!" he cried unable to hold back. "You think she had a miscarriage? She was nineteen years old. Her family has money. My family has money. It was a stupid drunken accident that should have never happened so she got rid of it. The likelihood of her really having a miscarriage is slim to none. It just doesn't make any sense."
"Well she hadn't gone to a doctor," Lexi said repeating what Parker had told her. "That's the most likely cause of a miscarriage after the first 8-10 weeks." Lexi had done her research after leaving the hospital.
"Don't let that girl fool you," he grumbled. "She had a life and a future ahead of her, and a baby never fit in with that especially after she walked out on me. So she just got rid of it," he told her fiercely.
Lexi sank back into the chair taking in everything Ramsey had just told her. She didn't even know what to think. Could Parker have lied about the miscarriage? She knew it was possible and that many women got abortions, but she couldn't even think about it. She didn't care what another woman did with their own body, but the thought of doing that to herself. Lexi shuddered. She wasn't sure she would have the strength for it…to put herself through it. Could Parker have had that strength? Lexi just didn't know. She didn't even want to think about it. There were too many sides to this one story. How could she ever decipher what had really happened between them?
And in the end did it really matter to Lexi? Whatever Parker had done with her body was part of their past. It was not Lexi's past. All she cared about was the fact that he had lied…that he had hid an entire relationship from him. That he had expected her never to find out.
"Look I don't care about that. What I care about is you lying to me," she told him.
"I'm sorry Lexi. I don't have an excuse. It was just…what I always did," he told her some of his anger leaving his body.
Lexi sat there for a minute longer trying to collect her thoughts. She was still angry. There was something more that she needed to say. She just wasn't sure how to articulate it to him. After a second she finally gasped out, "So am I just making up for all your mistakes with Parker?"
"What?" he breathed sitting across from her and staring up through his sad eyes.
"Is this what this is all about? You found someone who looked like her and thought you could recreate your past…fix all of the horrible things that you did?" she asked hating that these thoughts were even passing through her mind. But she needed to ask him. She needed these things out in the open.
"Lexi no," he whispered earnestly into the darkness. "You were nothing like that."
"Then what was I?" she challenged. "You can't deny that we look alike. My mother even said that we looked alike."
"I know you look alike," he responded softly.
"Then that's it. You saw me at the club and wanted to fuck me because I looked like your ex-girlfriend," she said the words so matter of fact that she actually believed what she was saying. What kind of person could possibly sink so low?
Ramsey sighed heavily seeing for the first time what a terrible thing he had done in keeping a secret from Lexi. "Yes."
"What?" Lexi snapped facing him wearily.
"That night at the club…that was my intention," he told her honestly. "I wanted to sleep with you because you looked like her and even then, years later, I still missed her."
Lexi's mouth hung open at the admission. She hadn't thought that he would really say it out loud to her. She had hated herself endlessly for the suspicions that Ramsey had only gotten with her because she looked like his old fling. Hearing the words out of his mouth though was a thousand times worse.
"That's why you said you knew me again at the Country Club," she filled in.
"Of course, I would recognize you anywhere," he mumbled feeling about as worthless as he had the night Bekah had stormed into his apartment to yell at him about Parker.
"And that's why you pursued me."
"Initially," he said barely audible, "but you were more than that."
"Of course," she said shaking her head and tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "You're disgusting."
"Lexi please," he begged and pleaded moving closer to her and reaching for her. She shook him off and wandered over to the window to stare out in horror.
"You are so much different than Parker. Besides your looks, you two are nothing alike," he said trying to reassure her. "You made me forget her. You made me able to move on."
"How can I believe you?" she asked her tone dead, lifeless.
"Our relationship was real whether you choose to believe it or not," he intoned. "I did and still do love you just as much as when I first told you that night at the beach. You are the only woman I could think of being with from now until eternity. Please try and believe me when I say it."
Lexi just shook her head again forlornly. She was having trouble believing anything anyone was telling her. First, Parker with her sad tale of loss of both Ramsey and their unborn child. Now, the tale twisted on its head and gruesome stories of an abortion. Neither side could possibly have the whole truth. There might be glimpses of it, but reality was different to different people. No one story held the truth about everything and she knew all too well that listening too intently to either one was a misgiving on her part. Both likely believed their story and would carry the truth to their grave, but that didn't mean that either story was what had actually happened. This only made her own decisions about Ramsey more difficult.
"Ramsey I just…" Lexi began turning to face him just as the door burst open.
"Ramsey I really need to talk to you," Parker cried panting a little as if she had just sprinted down the hallway. She was still in scrubs like she had come straight from the hospital.
He stood shakily and stared between the two women in his office. "About what you told Lexi?" he growled.
Parker's lips parted as she realized she had just walked in on Lexi and Ramsey. She nodded. "Uh yeah…I told her."
If you liked this chapter feel free to like me on facebook here: facebook pages/KA-Linde/212796458753281
K.A. Linde
Truth
Anything to make you smile
You are the ever-living ghost of what once was
I never want to hear you say
That you'd be better off or you liked it that way
But no one is ever gonna love you more than I do