“Visions can change, dependent on the course a person may choose to take. There is a chance she will not make it back to us,” Amphitrite reminded her.
“That is a chance I must take. For her. For all of us.”
“But you are our leader-“ she pleaded.
“She is my daughter!” Thetis roared, “The people we love must always come before position and obligation. Without them, the foundation we stand upon would falter and collapse! Everything we fight for; everything we believe in would perish along with it!” My body stood as Thetis did and began to pace; unable to contain the war of emotions playing out within her heart. “As a leader, I can control neither the fate of the Tyde Order nor the Nereids from which they are descended. But as a mother, I can ensure a future for my child. And that, Amphitrite, comes before all else.”
“As your sister, I will wholly support your decision. But I must warn you. Others will not feel the same.”
“They do not yet know of my unborn child, and therefore they will not be privy to word of the childbirth. You must promise to keep this in strictest confidence. It is vital.”
“I will not let you down sister, I promise,” she smiled.
“Thank you,” My hand squeezed hers. “Never question the strength of our bond. It will endure. As will the bond between a mother and her daughter. Even in death.” I patted my stomach as a crushing sadness settled on my already breaking heart.
Dawn. The sun crept its way across the floor of my bedroom when I came to. I laid there motionless for a good twenty minutes before attempting any activity. Between the reverie, the shared memory, and a serious lack of sleep; I was suffering from information and emotional overload. I was afraid that any sudden movements would result in a catastrophic breakdown; one that I may or may not recover from in the next century. I contemplated whether or not ‘irrevocable neurosis’ would be an approved excuse to miss classes.
“Stasia?”
Crap. “Yeah?” I answered casually, as if I had no idea why Willow was at my door ten minutes before first period was supposed to start.
“You coming to class?” She poked her head in the door and raised an eyebrow at my position on the bed. I mean, who didn’t sleep sideways with no pillow and their legs hanging off the side? It was actually pretty comfortable once I started to think about it. Maybe a soft blanket would be-“Stasia,” she prompted again. I slowly sat up, feeling numb and detached. I nodded my head for no particular reason.
“Be there in a sec,” I promised, without making any movement toward my closet.
“Um..okay,” she hesitated and disappeared back into the living room. I peered down at my wrinkled t-shirt and cotton shorts. These would not do. I spotted a less wrinkled pair of jean shorts and a mostly folded yellow tee sitting on top of my dresser. Without fixing my hair or so much as peeking in the mirror, I threw on some flip flops and headed for the door.
“Books?” Willow stared at me bleakly. I turned around with the liveliness of a zombie and stalked back to my room in order to collect my books. The rest of the day went much the same way.
My feet took my body where it was supposed to go, as my mind dragged behind; kicking and screaming the entire time. However, the closer I got to last period…and to seeing Finn; my expertly suppressed emotions started to fight their way outward. My walls were not as thick around him, and although I could pretend to be strong sometimes, I didn’t know if I was capable of hiding what lurked behind my walls today. This was foreign territory to me. I wasn’t used to having someone who could break down my walls. Or having someone who wanted to break down my walls. In all actuality, I wanted to run to him; allow him to hold me, support me, and give me a shoulder to cry on.
Unfortunately, suffering a mental breakdown in front of the entire class was not an option. So the massive amount of conflicting emotions that were swirling around in my mind and wreaking havoc on my thoughts would have to wait. One hour. I told myself I could do it. I had to.
As I walked into the classroom and met his warm gaze, I swear I heard my carefully constructed walls cracking from the pressure. I wanted to tell him about my disturbing reverie. I wanted to tell him about my amazing antiquity experience. I wanted to tell him that I suspected Nadia could enter my reveries. I wanted to tell him I’d made friends with a dead girl. I wanted to tell him I was terrified of my upcoming journey. I wanted to tell him I was terrified of his upcoming fight. And I needed to find out what, if anything, he was hiding from me. My next step coincided with the disheartening realization that my walls were not going to hold. As the first piece crumbled, followed by another and another, Finn’s eyes darkened with concern and his entire body tensed. I stopped mid-step, turned on my heel, and ran.
Thankfully, my seaweed and coconut milk diet had indeed helped my body to become stronger and more agile. I made it to the beach in no time, and I wasn’t even winded. I didn’t stop until my feet hit sand, and once they did, I noticed it. Almost…an acknowledgement. Very similar to what I had felt in the garden on Shackleford Banks. I felt everything around me perk up at my appearance. The sand beneath my feet danced slightly with each step I took, as if celebrating my arrival. The sea grass growing out of the sand dunes bent ever so slightly in my direction, and the waves reached farther up the beach in my immediate vicinity. I felt…welcomed. Intrigued, I slowly sat down and watched the sand dance beneath my touch. The emotions still coursing through me seemed to drain out, as if the sand was feeding off of it. I closed my eyes and ran my fingertips over the top of the sand, trying not to smile as it tickled my legs; dancing and shifting slightly. I could feel a different kind of energy flowing up my arms and throughout my body. It filled me with the reassurance and acceptance that I desperately needed.
I lazily opened my eyes and gazed longingly at the rolling waves. I stood as my feet automatically began to move in their direction. Although I knew it was only salty ocean water, it felt like slipping into a relaxing Jacuzzi filled with silky body wash and soothing bubbles. As each wave crashed into me, I drug my fingers over the top of the water and began to hear it.
The ocean’s song; greeting me, calling me. The beautiful melody filled my ears and soothed my heart. Once again, I felt the raw pile of emotions loosening and slipping away from me; replaced by a calm so peaceful, it didn’t seem real. I gently slipped beneath the water and began to swim. The song faded, but the feeling remained. The more I swam the lighter I felt. The more water my lungs inhaled, the more detached I felt from the world above. It was so freeing, I didn’t want to stop. I could have swum to Bermuda if I’d be so inclined, but the search party would have a hard time finding me. Instead, I swam along the shore; eventually circling the entire island. Fish of all sizes, shapes and colors would swim alongside me for several meters, before darting away and disappearing into the blue.
The fact that I was not fatigued whatsoever was astonishing to me. I just swam around an island. I also began to notice that underneath the water I had an incredible sense of direction, without even thinking about it. I could feel north. And therefore, every other direction fell into place. I could feel the presence of the shore to my left as well as the vast expanse of the deep ocean to my right. My trace was shimmering a beautiful light blue, and for the first time that day I felt like everything was going to be okay. After I stopped swimming, I felt the pulsing warmth of the multiple pieces of aquamarine and onyx jewelry I was wearing, and I observed with reverence as they seemed to come alive beneath the water.