His belly hurt and his heart ached, and his throat was raw from screaming. He missed Lilliana as much as he hated her. No, that wasn’t entirely accurate. He missed her more than he hated her. And truth be told, he didn’t hate her...he hated what she’d planned to do.
“Father.”
The familiar voice came from out of nowhere, and he wheeled around. Idess stood on the stone pathway that led from the portal, dressed in jeans and a fitted violet silk blouse with matching strappy sandals. The desire to hug her damned near made him tremble.
But so did the fear that she was the rotten icing on the cake, here to tell him to fuck off like everyone else. Bracing himself, he waited.
“I spoke with Lilliana,” she said, and his heart shot into his throat. “She’s worried about you.”
He snorted. “She should be worried about herself. After the archangels relieve her of her time travel ability, she’s going to be miserable.” He should be happy about that, but no, the thought of her suffering only dragged him deeper into the pit of despair he’d dug for himself. “How is it that you spoke with her?”
“She came to me at Underworld General. She told me what Methicore did. And she gave me this.” Idess reached into her purse and withdrew a polished sapphire globe about the size of a softball. “She stole it from the Time Travel Department.”
“What is it?”
“It’s a miniature viewing stone. It’s practically useless to Heaven because it requires permission from those you want to spy on...and who in their right mind consents to that?” She shrugged. “But somehow Lilliana convinced hundreds of my brothers and sisters to give permission. It’s not the same as them being able to visit, but it’s better than nothing. Some of them even sent messages and invitations to contact them. They’re all about Skype.”
He had no idea what to say, even if he could speak. His voice was gone, clogged by the emotion in his throat. Idess handed the shiny ball to him, the solid weight of it sitting heavy on his soul. Lilliana had done this even after the way he’d treated her?
You treated her that way because she lied to you. She deceived you.
Somehow, none of that seemed to be important right now, which was strange, because he had never treated betrayal lightly. Had anyone else done what she did, they’d be gracing his great hall right now, frozen in a screaming statue.
“Father,” Idess said softly. “I know this is none of my business, but I think you should cut her some slack.”
He rolled the globe around in his palms, strangely comforted by the fact that Lilliana had once held it in her own graceful hands. “You don’t know what she did.” His voice was humiliatingly hoarse.
“Yes, I do. She came down here to steal the chronoglass and return to Heaven.” Idess dropped her bag on the ground and gazed out at the devastated landscape. “Did she ever tell you why she was given the choice to come here or have her ability taken away?”
“She broke out of the shrowd.”
“Yes, but did she tell you why she did that?”
He frowned. She’d always skirted around the issue or changed the subject, never lighting on talk of her punishment or the shrowd for long. “No, she didn’t.”
“She did it because she was taken prisoner by an angel named Stamtiel. He forced her to travel into the past to search for some sort of holy object he could use to wrest power away from one of the archangels. She refused, even when he tortured her.”
His breath burned in his throat, and his voice turned smoky with the depth of his anger. “He tortured her?”
“Badly. He wrecked her, Father. To save herself, she agreed to do his bidding, but it was a trick. She went into the past and then broke out of the shrowd in hopes that angels would rescue her. They did, but they were angels from the past. What she did was highly illegal, and it caused a lot of problems. Memories had to be wiped, and getting her back to the present was a long, involved process that required more memory alterations.”
“So she was punished for escaping her torturer?”
Idess nodded. “You know how Heaven operates. Rules are rules, and they can’t be broken for any reason.”
Bastards. “Why would she tell you all of this but not tell me?”
“She didn’t tell me. I asked Reaver to do a little digging, and he discovered all of that. The reason she didn’t tell you is that she doesn’t remember the worst of it.”
“Why not?”
“She was in bad shape,” Idess explained. “The angels knew she needed to be punished, but even they felt sorry for her, so they altered her memories. She knows she was kidnapped and that she escaped, but she has no recollection of the horrors Stamtiel inflicted on her.” Idess pursed her lips in disgust. “Father, she came here to steal your property, but somehow, she managed to fall for you, and given her past, even if she can’t consciously remember it, that’s kind of a miracle.”
He squeezed his eyes shut, but his vicious actions replayed on the back of his eyelids. “I’m such a fool.”
“Males always are,” she muttered.
“Did you give your...” He held up the orb, afraid to even ask if she’d consented to allow him to check up on her from afar.
For a moment, Idess looked perplexed. “Why would I?”
“You’re siding with Methicore, then.”
She grimaced. “Hardly. I didn’t infuse my permission into the globe because I’m not Memitim. I can visit your realm anytime I want to. And if you want to see me, send one of your griminions. Or heck, send an e-mail. I’ll come, Father.”
He gaped at her. “You’d visit me? For no reason other than that I requested it?”
“Of course.” She shrugged. “I didn’t know you wanted me here or I’d have come more often. And when my son is born, I’ll bring him, too.”
He sucked in a sharp breath. “You’re pregnant?”
“Soon,” she said. “With all the apocalyptic crap that happened recently, Lore and I wanted to wait until we knew we wouldn’t be bringing a child into a shitty world. It’s still shitty, but between Lore’s family, the Horsemen, and Reaver and Harvester, I know my son will have a powerful, loving family to depend on. And, of course, you.”
He hugged her, something he’d never done before. It was awkward and stiff at first, but when she relaxed into him, an emotional earthquake rocked him. This was his first true connection with one of his children, and he hoped it wouldn’t be the last.
He tried not to think of the children he might have had with Lilliana as he reluctantly pulled back.
“Thank you, Idess,” he said, his voice thick with the force of what he felt for her. “You’ve already done so much, but I have one favor to ask of you.”
“Anything.”
“Tell her...tell her I love her.”
Idess stepped away. “I can’t do that,” she said, and his heart sank. “But you can tell her yourself.”
She turned, and he followed her gaze to the steps of his mansion, where Lilli was standing...in a flowing white gown, just as she’d been dressed when she’d first arrived. Her hair was long and loose, the way he liked it, and peeking out from under the hem of the gown were her bare toes, painted bright cherry red.
He closed the distance between them in less time than it took to blink. Then he stood there like a dolt on the step beneath hers. He’d had so much to say to her just a few seconds ago, and now he was completely blank.
“Hi,” she said.
He couldn’t even manage that. Dolt.