“She shows up and insists on being his caregiver. Even though they’re divorced, and even though he’s bound to make her miserable.”
“Wow. That’s-”
“Nutty,” he filled in.
“No, it’s sweet. Kind of twisted, but sweet.”
West shook his head. “They’ve been divorced for most of my adult life. It’s freaky to see her in his house, serving him omelets and putting up with his crap.”
“She’s a grown woman. She has her reasons. It’s too bad there aren’t more people as selfless as her in the world. So what’s going on with your dad? You didn’t mention anything was wrong with him.”
“He’s the reason I came home early. He’s got Alzheimer’s and it’s been getting worse in the past few months.”
“Oh, God, I’m sorry.”
So not only had she dropped a bombshell on him with the surprise pregnancy, but she’d managed to do it when he was going through a major family trauma. What timing. The ball of guilt in her belly grew another few inches.
West took a drink of his own tea, shrugging. After, he said, “It’s grim to see him like that.”
“The General,” Soleil murmured.
She didn’t really know West’s father, had only met him once, but had heard of him from the time he’d served on the town council a few years ago and frequently caused uproars with his bullheadedness.
“I would have told my mom no way should she be taking care of him, but she’s determined to be there until I can find a better situation.”
“What does that mean-a better situation?”
He shrugged. “I wish I knew.”
“Do you think he needs to go to a nursing home?”
West’s gaze turned hard, but his voice came out soft. “He’s near that point, sure, but…”
“You can’t do it?”
“I also can’t leave my mom here to try to manage on her own with Dad. So I’m hoping to find a good caregiver to hire who can’t be bullied by my dad.”
“Maybe a former drill sergeant?”
He laughed and shook his head, but it was a facade. The slump in his shoulders said everything. She’d never seen West look so defeated as he did right now, and she ached for him.
“There’s nothing scarier than seeing someone you thought was invincible for most of your life suddenly falling apart.”
“What was your dad like when you were growing up? I mean, I hope he wasn’t as much of a dictator as he tried to be on the Promise town council.”
Their spring rolls arrived, and Soleil didn’t bother acting politely. As soon as she saw the food, she was ravenous. She grabbed a roll, dipped it in sauce and took an enormous bite.
West seemed on the verge of making a joke about her hunger, but must have thought better of it. “I’d say he’s mellowed out in recent years, so the guy you saw on the town council was probably a kinder, gentler John Morgan.”
“Yikes.”
“He used to make us do push-ups if we forgot to say sir when addressing him.”
“And you willingly joined the military after that?”
He shrugged, half grinning. “I guess it felt familiar.”
“And you probably wanted to finally please your dad.”
“Something like that. It’s always driven me crazy that I care so much what he thinks. I spent so much time pissing him off when I was a kid. Then when I finally had a chance to get out from under his thumb for good, I went right into the air force academy.”
Soleil caught the discomfort in his expression, as if he was seeing how transparent his choices were for the first time, and she decided not to push him toward any more self-revelation.
But he continued on his own. “I guess I’ve never thought about it before, but I must have been desperate to prove something.”
“Prove what?”
He frowned. “I’ve always been proud that I made the Special Forces team after the General told me there was no way I could do it.”
“Of course. Why wouldn’t you be?”
“Seeing the way my father is now-not himself anymore…I wish I could let go of those petty feelings.”
Thinking of her own mother, Soleil said, “Family relationships rarely bring out the best in us.”
Understatement of the year.
He lapsed into silence as he ate a spring roll, and Soleil wondered if she’d ever have the courage to broach the subject that was hanging in the air between them like a deadweight-the baby, their future, what they were going to do…
“So,” she said, her throat suddenly tight, “you’re happy with your career?”
His gaze searched hers. He wanted to know why she was asking, and she wasn’t sure she even knew. “Sure,” he said. “I mean, it’s my life.”
“That’s how I feel about the farm,” she said, a weird mix of regret and satisfaction plaguing her.
They had such opposite paths in life: he traveled around the world performing covert military operations, while she was rooted firmly to one sacred spot, doing work that affirmed life and encouraged growth. She didn’t see how they could ever make raising a child together work.
“We’ve got the baby to consider,” he said.
Whoa, he’d come right out and said it.
“Right,” she croaked.
“I have to admit, I never thought about how a family would fit into my career life. After seeing my parents’ marriage fall apart, I wasn’t in any hurry to get married, or have kids, for that matter.”
“Yeah,” she said, a film of sweat breaking out on her upper lip. “Me, neither.”
“There’s no way I can have my own flesh and blood walking around in the world, and not take part in raising her.”
“West-” The cold sweat spread to the back of her neck, her chest, her underarms…
“Just listen. You’ve had five and a half months to figure out how a baby will fit into your life, and I’ve had a couple of days. But the way I felt in that doctor’s office, and the look I saw on your face, you’ve got to admit we have some common ground here. We both want the best for our baby.”
Tears, treacherous tears, sprang to her eyes. Soleil was not the kind of woman who burst into tears over lunch. It had to be the pregnancy hormones. They were making her nuttier and nuttier. She blinked away the dampness and looked out the window.
“Of course,” she said.
“I don’t know how our parenting her together will look yet, but we owe it to the baby to make whatever compromises it takes to give her a good life with both of her parents.”
Soleil forced herself to nod. She couldn’t argue with him, but she also couldn’t imagine what compromises would get them to a place of harmony. And yet, she wanted to recapture that moment of sheer joy they’d shared while viewing the ultrasound. She wanted to feel that hopeful and happy all the time, not only for a few minutes.
“Maybe you could have someone else run the farm while you move to Colorado-”
A humorless laugh burst from Soleil’s throat. She contemplated hurling the last spring roll at his forehead, but no. Happy and hopeful-that’s how she was wanted to feel right now.
“Why do you assume I’ll be the one making the compromises?” she said as evenly as she could.
He leaned back in his chair, crossing his thickly muscled arms over his chest. Something sparked in his blue eyes. “I’d say we’re both compromising there. I’m the one who’d have to put up with you.”
He was toying with her temper because starting an argument was easier than working through their differences.
With a Herculean effort, she ignored the bait. “Let’s don’t go there.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “Go where?”
“I don’t want to argue with you right now. Let’s just, for today, try to get along. Cool?”
“Cool,” he said quietly.
His gaze lingered too long on her. He had a way of looking at her, the way he did now, that turned her into a fool, made her a quivering mass of hormones that wanted nothing more than to be in his presence. And she hated-absolutely hated-that he wielded such power over her.