He stared into her pale green eyes, made all the more stunning by her café-au-lait skin, trying to see some truth there that hadn’t been spoken aloud yet.
But all he saw was her looking as though she wanted to get away from him. The thin, brittle smile she wore wasn’t fooling anyone, definitely not him.
“Um, I would stay and catch up,” Soleil said after an awkward silence, “but I’ve left the kids unsupervised on the farm and I need to get back there. I’m shorthanded today.”
She was already edging toward her property, stepping over a downed section of fencing.
“Hey, can I help you out? My dad isn’t expecting me for a few more hours.” West had the feeling Soleil would disappear forever if he didn’t pin her down right now. Ridiculous thought, given how tied she was to the farm. Still, he couldn’t let this conversation end with so many questions forming in his head.
“Oh. No, thank you, but no. Really, I’ll be fine.”
“Looks like you need a fence repair.”
She glanced down. “Right. Before any more goats escape. Thanks for the reminder-I’ll get someone on it.”
“Seriously, I’d love to see what you’ve got going on around here. Why don’t you let me stick around for a while, do a quick fix on the fence and give you a hand wherever else you need it. In fact, I insist.”
Soleil looked like a cornered animal. Her eyes wide, she froze-probably contemplating her options.
Before she could produce an argument, he closed the deal, “I’ll drive around to the house and come find you once I’ve parked.”
“Oh. Well,” she said as he crossed the road to his SUV. “Really, I don’t need your help.”
But she did. She was meticulous enough that she’d never let a section of fence remain unmended unless she was overwhelmed.
On the short trip to the farmhouse, his brain tried to make sense of Soleil being pregnant, while doing the math. Even without knowing how far along she was, there was every reason to believe he was responsible.
Yet her comment about the father not being in the picture implied that not only did the father know about the kid, but also that he’d chosen not to participate. That ruled West out, didn’t it? No way would he bow out of his kid’s life. Especially if Soleil was the mother. Men looked their whole lives for a woman as sexy, smart, beautiful, funny and capable as Soleil.
Besides, they’d taken precautions against this very thing happening. They’d used a condom-every time.
Wait. There had been that one time when the condom supply had run out. They’d both sworn to being healthy and she’d claimed to be on the pill. Hadn’t she? Or had he filled in the blank in his urgency to get her naked? Either way, did it really matter? If he was the father, wasn’t figuring out the details of when and who said what akin to closing the barn door after the horse escaped-or, more appropriately, fixing the fence after the goat got out?
The more important aspect was what to do from here. And that necessitated talking to Soleil-openly and honestly. Something he didn’t hold out a lot of hope for if her earlier evasion was anything to go by.
But maybe there was a reason for that evasiveness. Maybe he was jumping to conclusions without all the facts. What if he wasn’t the father? What if the father actually did know and chose not to be involved? What if the guy had dumped her and she was embarrassed about the situation? It seemed unlikely that Soleil would be dumped-it was far more probable that she’d dumped him. That was her usual M.O.-get out before emotions get too complicated.
Still, when would she have gotten pregnant by someone else? Before West? After? The last time they’d slept together had been in June, which would make her five or so months pregnant now. He was no expert on how big women got in any given month of pregnancy, but she did look as if she was at least five months along-not huge yet, but with a noticeable bump in front. Was it possible there’d been someone before or after him?
Dammit, he needed some clarification.
West parked in front of the white Victorian farmhouse, got out of the car and strode toward the field behind the barn, his dread growing with each step. His legs felt shaky, as if at any moment they might fail him.
Him, a father.
He couldn’t be a father right now, could he? He’d envisioned fatherhood occurring at some point off in the distant and fuzzy future once he’d found someone he liked enough to marry and settle down with. In the meantime, he was too busy living life to worry about the future.
But now…Soleil was pregnant.
Could he handle it? Did he have any choice?
He’d been in some pretty sketchy situations as a Special Forces officer, but this notion of impending, unexpected fatherhood-he’d never felt so terrified in his life as he did right now.
CHAPTER TWO
SOLEIL NEEDED WEST showing up right now about as much as she needed a few more holes in the fence. Not only did she have to keep up her five teenage interns-without the help of her assistant, Michelle, who was out with the flu-but she had to act as their counselor, friend, warden and supervisor all day, too. She didn’t have time for a major life drama on top of everything else.
She hadn’t physically recovered from bumping into West. She was shaky still, and desperately wanted to hide out here in the barn with a box of Twinkies and a glass of milk until he went away.
But gastro-self-indulgence would have to wait. Right now she had to negotiate Silas and a teen terrified of all dogs.
“The dog won’t hurt you, I promise.” She reached for a dose of patience that seemed in short supply at the moment.
Tonio stood on the far side of the fence, refusing to enter the field and help with the goats so long as Silas was there.
“I already told you, I hate dogs.” He eyed Silas and shook his head. “No way you’re changing my mind.”
She didn’t want to deal with this. Not now, not with West lurking nearby, threatening to upset the balance of her universe.
“I understand how you feel. Dogs can be dangerous. Did you have a bad experience with one?”
He kept watching the dog as he answered. “Something like that.”
“Why don’t you tell me about it.”
He shook his head.
“Here’s my problem,” Soleil said. “Silas is a working dog. He has an important job here at the farm, and if I keep him penned up in the barn, he can’t do the work I need him to do, and more goats could wander off.”
“I’m not helping with the goats then.”
“Fair enough. For now, I’ll find other work for you to do.”
She didn’t add that later, she’d get to the bottom of his dog fear, but she intended to. It was hard to go through life terrified of dogs, especially when that very fear could put Tonio in danger around aggressive canines. She took note of the pale, barely visible scars on his arms and neck and realized he’d likely been mauled.
A moment later, West appeared, striding toward them in that confident, ready-to-conquer-the-world way he had, and her hunger pangs morphed to anxiety.
She wasn’t ready for him. Wasn’t ready for this conversation. She’d known it was coming, but she’d thought she had more time. She’d expected him to show up in town for the holidays, and she’d planned to approach him in her own time, prepared to give him a firm talk about how she intended to raise the child on her own, and how he could have as much or as little involvement in the child’s life as he wanted, but that she didn’t need his help.
It all sounded so perfectly reasonable in her head, and yet, she was terrified of saying any of it aloud.
“Oh, hey,” Soleil said stupidly. “You’re here.”
To Tonio, she said, “You’ve got chicken duty. You won’t have to worry about the dog if you’re in the chicken zone.”