It’s not till I reach the nearest bathroom that the realization hits me: I’m turning into my sister, Lara — a walking, talking buzzkill.
I’m working on my homework later that afternoon when I get a text from Liam.
Need to talk. Can u meet me in the tree fort?
My thumbs hesitate over my phone. Part of me is still mad at him and wants to stay that way, because it’s easier than trying to figure out the mess of feelings I have for him if I’m not. Also, if there are any press people lurking around, and they catch a picture of us together … I can’t even think about that.
But the other part of me, the one that feels so incredibly alone in this insanity — that part wins out.
K. Be there in 5.
I finish the problem I was working on, then go brush my hair and put on lip gloss, even though it’s only Liam and I’m just meeting him in the tree fort. So why am I bothering?
Slipping out the back door, I check for camera people, but they seem to be congregated around the front of the house. Still, I keep to the back of the yard and detour around the rusting swing set that none of us use anymore, just in case.
Liam’s already there when I climb up into the tree fort. It’s dusk and there’s no electricity up here, so he’s lit a few candles. In their flickering glow, I can see the fort is noticeably cleaner and less cobwebby than the last time I was there.
“It looks cleaner up here.”
“Yeah,” he says. “You should see me with a feather duster. The spiders were quaking in their webs.”
“Well, it’s a lot nicer being up here without getting them in my hair, that’s for sure.”
And then we just look at each other in an awkward silence.
I break eye contact first, unsure of what to make of what I see there.
“Syd … I feel bad about this morning. You know … on the bus?”
I meet his gaze again. His green eyes glow, reflecting candlelight and what I think is … what I hope is … honesty.
I nod, afraid to say anything. And then he reaches over and takes my hand, warming my cold fingers.
“I totally get it that this is all Bree’s fault. And my mom’s. I really do. I know that because of what they did, Lara almost …” He swallows, and I’m temporarily distracted by his Adam’s apple, so it’s not till I look back to his eyes that I realize how upset he is about this. “Almost died, and I get how sick that is.”
Then he kind of tugs my hand, pulling me toward him, and we are in an awkward hug. I’m suddenly aware of how close his lips are to mine, and I wonder if Liam wants to kiss me. Because I want to kiss him. And then he’s leaning in, a brush of lips, soft and warm on mine, with the candle in between us, like a warning that I might get burned.
I pull away and bite my lip. I wanted that kiss, but this is all just so messed up. My first kiss ever — and it’s with Liam Connors, whose sister almost caused my sister to die.
“I know how hard things must be for you, Syd. I just … I just wanted you to understand that things are pretty messed up at our house, too.”
“I know,” I say. “And I know it’s not your fault.” I sigh. “Are you still getting the death threat calls?”
“We haven’t plugged the phones back in yet,” Liam says. “We’re not going to until we’ve changed the phone number to an unlisted one. But in the meantime, someone hacked Dad’s business website and redirected it to a porn site.”
“Eww — that’s disgusting.”
“It’s more than disgusting. It’s shut down his online business until he can get someone to fix it,” Liam says. “Not to mention how it’s hurting the reputation of his store. He says this could end up ruining everything he’s worked for his entire life — because Mom and Bree were idiots.”
What does he want from me? Sympathy? Comfort? Understanding?
“Bet that went down well with Mary Jo,” I say.
Liam laughs bitterly. “Oh yeah. I’m surprised you couldn’t hear the shouting from your house.” He moves the index finger of his free hand back and forth through the tip of the candle flame.
“Stop!” I exclaim. “Doesn’t that hurt?”
“This?” he asks, doing it again, grinning. “No. Try it.”
I shake my head. I already feel like it’s dangerous enough being up here with him. Kissing him, even. I don’t need to make it even more real by sticking my finger through a flame.
“I spent a lot of time doing this up here last night when Mom and Dad were fighting, and the phones kept ringing off the hook, and Bree was crying,” Liam says, running his finger through the flame again. He looks back to me from the flame. “We have to change all our phone numbers. They haven’t hacked my cell yet, but the police said they could sooner or later, so Dad’s canceling everything tomorrow.”
“That sucks,” I tell him. It does suck for him about the phone, because it’s a pain to have to change numbers, and I feel bad for Mr. Connors, because it wasn’t like he was pretending to be Christian DeWitt, either. But … I slide my fingers out from Liam’s, unsure of how he’ll react to what I’m about to say. “The thing is, Liam, it’s no picnic at our house, either. Lara’s a mess, and we have to tiptoe around her in case she relapses. My dad … Well, his being on the news going psycho on your lawn in his pj’s — that was fun.”
Liam laughs until he realizes that I wasn’t trying to be funny, and his smile fades.
“And then there’s Mom, who’s desperately trying to figure out how to salvage her election campaign because having an Emotionally Damaged Daughter and a Psycho Husband ruins her Perfect Wife and Mother cred, don’t you think?”
“Do you … think she’ll withdraw?”
I laugh. “Kathy Kelley? Withdraw? As if! My mom doesn’t withdraw. She just figures out a new angle.”
Liam smiles. “I thought I was the World’s Most Cynical Teen, but apparently not. It’s you, Syd.”
I wonder if he’ll kiss me again.
“Do you ever wish you could change your name or be adopted by another family?” I ask. “A normal family? Like one that isn’t in the newspapers or on the national news or doesn’t have to pretend to be perfect because they’re running for public office?”
“Or isn’t doing screwed-up things like setting up fake Facebook profiles and almost causing their former best friend to kill herself?”
“Yeah, that kind of family,” I agree. “One that does normal stuff together like have barbecues and build tree forts. Like our families used to do before everything got screwed up.”
“Do you think life can ever get back to normal after this?” Liam asks. “Or will I always be Son of Monster Mom?”
“And will I always be the sister of the girl who tried to kill herself over the fake Facebook guy?” I say. “With all these news stories being online, we can’t even go off to college and escape this now. It’s going to follow us wherever we go.”
“I’m not going to let Bree’s stupidity ruin the rest of my life,” Liam says. “I’m going to do something so amazing that people will remember me for being me, not because I’m her brother.” Then he laughs ruefully. “The problem is, I haven’t figured out what that amazing thing is yet.”
Liam’s so brave and determined that I don’t doubt for a second that he’ll do it.
“You will,” I tell him, taking his hand. “I know you will.”
He smiles at me and shifts over so he’s sitting next to me. Then he puts his arm around my shoulder, and I snuggle next to him, resting my head on his shoulder. We sit looking at the flickering candle flame, just being there in our little tree house of sanity.