“Officer Janus can still swing that stick,” Pitale warned.
“What do you want from me, Lieutenant?”
“Why’d you break into that apartment?”
“The door was left open,” I said.
“What were you going to do with that gun?”
“I found the forty-five on the living-room table. It bothered me that it was right out in the open like that, so I picked it up. When I heard people outside the door I shoved it in my pants, not knowing what to expect. What we intended to do was call the cops and get them to come down and investigate where BobbiAnne was and why that gun was just out lyin’ around.” Two hours chained to a chair gives you lots of time to think.
It was Pitale’s turn to smile. He was accustomed to the stories concocted by felons.
I saw a flames from the windah, Officer. And I was climbin’ up on the fire escape to see if anyone needed savin’. And... and you know when I saw that fine new TV, I thought that the owner would have wanted me to save it...
The story I gave was solid. I didn’t think that a judge would ever have to hear it, but a little insurance is always good to have.
“What were you doing with members of a communist organization?” he asked.
“Communist?”
“You heard me.”
“Yeah,” I said. “You said communist. That’s the first I heard of any communist. Xavier and Christina are friends of my friend’s adopted son. I never knew that they were Russian.”
“You could die in this room, Rawlins,” he told me.
The threat didn’t bother me so much, but when he took out a Pall Mall I almost came to tears.
“May I make my phone call, Lieutenant?”
Pitale agreed to dial any number I gave him and hold the phone to my ear.
I had two things going for me: one was that I have a good memory, and two is that I was pretty sure that D Squad was a twenty-four-hour operation. I called Vincent Knorr’s number and when a man answered I said, “This is Easy Rawlins callin’ for Knorr. Tell him that me, Xavier Bodan, and Christina Montes have all been arrested and are being held at the main downtown station. And tell him that Lakeland wouldn’t want me languishing here. Languishing.” I repeated the word because the early-morning cop seemed to have a problem with it.
“Knorr your lawyer?” Pitale asked me when he took the receiver from my ear.
“In a way,” I said.
“Funny that such an innocent man would have a lawyer ready to jump to his defense any hour of the day or night.”
“You been a white your whole life, Lieutenant?” I asked.
“What the hell do you mean by that?”
“I mean that Father Knows Best don’t need no lawyer. But you know Amos ’n’ Andy got to have one. You’d know what I was talkin’ about if you were ever chained to this here chair.”
I believe that I saw a glimmer of comprehension in Pitale’s face. I think that he understood me, which wasn’t necessarily a good thing. The one edge black people have always had over whites was that they never truly understood our motivations. And just because a man understands you, that doesn’t make that man your friend.
“It doesn’t matter how I feel or what I know,” Pitale said. “What matters is what you were doing in that apartment and where that gun came from.”
“I already answered that question,” I said. “And I don’t want to say any more until my lawyer comes.”
“By that time you won’t be able to talk...,” Pitale replied.
I didn’t ask the question, but I believe that my eyes betrayed my fear.
“... with your teeth being knocked out and all.” Pitale finished his sentence with a smirk.
I was wondering when Officer Janus would be called in to increase the charge to double assault when the phone rang.
It was a big black phone with five or six lights along the bottom. Pitale turned his head, watching for the next ring. When it came, one of the center lights flickered. The lieutenant grunted and picked up the receiver.
“Yeah?” he said, and then went quiet. While listening his face became softer, almost submissive. “But, Captain, we got ’em red-handed on B and E. But... Yes, sir. Immediately, sir.”
He hung up the phone and stared at me.
“Who’d you call just now?”
“My insurance agent,” I said.
“What the hell is going on? What are you guys into?”
“Can I leave now, Officer?” I asked.
I couldn’t help smirking.
— 30 —
“Olympic and south flower,” I said into the pay phone. “Could you come and get me?”
“Sure, honey,” Bonnie said. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“And don’t forget to bring me some cigarettes from the closet,” I added.
I waited on a bus stop bench until Bonnie could get to me. Sitting there in the chilly morning dew, I thought about how alone I had been for most of my life. Mouse had been my closest friend, but he was crazy. The kids and I had a bond as deep as it gets, but they were still children with needs and desires that kept them from understanding the adult world.
But Bonnie was in every way my equal. She took life head-on, and though I had known her for only a few months, I felt that I could call on her no matter how bad it got.
She sidled up to the curb and I jumped into her small blue Rambler. My knees were up against the dashboard and there seemed to be space for only one of my arms, but I didn’t care. Bonnie gave me a deep soulful kiss and then took off down the street with no idea or care for where we were going.
The first thing I did was open the pack of Chesterfields and light up. That was good. Six months later I would think back on that first drag with the memory of deep pleasure.
“I got arrested last night,” I said after a few blocks.
“Do you have to come back for a trial?”
“No. They didn’t have anything on me and just cut me loose.”
“Where are we going?”
“My car’s parked over on Grand,” I said. “I’m sorry ’bout this.”
“Is this boy worth the risk you’re taking?” she asked me.
“I’m not sure,” I said. “But I’m not doin’ it for him.”
“Then who?”
“Partly it’s John. You know we been friends for over thirty years. There was times that I’d go to John and ask him to hide me. He never asked me why and he never said no.”
“What’s the other part?”
“You were right when you said I’ve been sad. I know I got to get out there and find out what happened after EttaMae took Raymond from that hospital. But it’s been hard to push myself there. While I’m lookin’ for Brawly I kinda like lose myself in his problem and maybe, when it’s all over, I’ll find the old Easy and he’ll be able to go out there and find out the truth.”
Bonnie didn’t say anything. And after a while we came to BobbiAnne’s apartment building.
I kissed her again.
“Call me in sick at work,” I said, then opened my door.
“Easy?”
“Yeah?”
“You said that you lose yourself.”
“Yeah?”
“That’s not right,” she said. “What you should be doing is finding yourself, not this boy.”
I drove directly over to John’s place. I knew he’d be gone to work, but that was what I wanted.
Alva opened the door with hope in her eyes. But when she saw me, the hope turned to fear.
“What is it?” she asked.
“Can I come in?”
I took the hassock I’d sat in a few days before while Alva put on water for tea.
After composing herself over the stove, she came to sit across from me.
“What is it, Mr. Rawlins?”
“We need some straight talkin’, Alva.”