“She’s either deaf or dead.”
“She’s not deaf.”
“How do you know?”
“Chris would’ve told us. Move up so I can see.”
“Look in the mirror.”
Carlos does. Then says, “What the hell are you wearing?”
Charlie’s hand instinctively moves to his neck. “Nothing.”
“Are those mom’s necklaces?”
“I brought them for good luck.”
“How many are you wearing?”
“Three.”
“What if we’d gotten in a scuffle and one of them broke?”
“I suppose we’d have to gather up the little pearls.”
“What if we had to make a run for it?”
“Run?” Charlie says. “Are you kidding me? It took us a full minute to get from the den to the bathroom!”
“Figure of speech.”
“We couldn’t outrun a sloth on propofol!”
“You made your point, Charlie. Mine is this: hit men don’t wear pearls.”
“We could start a new trend.”
“I don’t think so.”
“Why not?”
“Look, it’s bad enough you wear a Velcro bra and panties to bed every night.”
“So?”
“Let’s focus. I see blood in the water.”
“Blood?”
“In the tub. And Kathy’s head’s under water. She’s dead.”
He starts moving toward her. Charlie’s forced to follow.
Charlie says, “Slow down. It might be a trap.”
“A trap?”
“She could be playing possum.”
“I have no idea what that means, but there’s blood, Charlie. And did you hear me say her head’s under the water?”
“Maybe she’s holding her breath.”
“Trust me, she’s dead.”
Carlos and Charlie have lived like this since birth. Now that Kathy’s a non-issue, they ease into the natural muscular cooperation that got them through twenty-eight years of life, one hour at a time. Carlos’s legs are better suited to walking, Charlie’s arm and hand is more functional. Carlos instinctively knows how to angle, dip, and turn, so Charlie can see.
“I’ll take her pulse,” Charlie says.
“Good idea. Wonder what we’ll learn,” Carlos says, sarcastically.
The boys lower their bodies until they’re on their knees. Charlie places his hand on Kathy’s neck.
“She’s dead,” he says.
“There’s a shock.”
Charlie looks at Kathy, shakes his head and sighs. “If my time comes, make sure I’m not wearing sweatpants, okay?”
“Yeah, whatever,” Carlos says, “Help me turn.”
“Which way?”
“To the right, so I can reach her.”
“Why?”
“Just do it.”
Still on their knees they make a quarter-turn to the right. When Charlie hears Carlos breathing heavily he says, “What the fudge are you doing?”
“What’s it look like?”
“Hilarious. You know I can’t see what you’re doing.”
“Good. So you can’t tell mom.”
Charlie doesn’t possess the leg strength Carlos does, but when he makes sudden moves, he can temporarily force the action.
He suddenly stands up, loses his balance, and both twins topple to the floor.
“What the hell?” Carlos says.
Charlie lands at an angle that offers him a view of the body. Kathy’s sweat pants and panties have been pulled down to her knees.
“What’s the matter with you?” he shouts.
“I wasn’t going to do her or anything,” Carlos says. “I just wanted to look.”
“That’s disgusting. She’s dead.”
“It’s not like I get lots of opportunities.”
“This is just wrong,” Charlie says.
“I’m not doing anything. Just looking.”
Charlie sighs. “We’ll get you a hooker tonight.”
“Really?”
“I suppose we’d better, if our choices are prostitution or necrophilia.”
“What about you?”
“You don’t care about my needs.”
“Of course I do!”
“I’m content to suffer in silence,” Charlie says, in his martyr’s voice. “As always.”
“We could see if the escort agency has a guy for you.”
“We’ve been through this a hundred times. I’m not like you. I can’t just do it. Especially with you lying next to us, laughing.”
“I wouldn’t laugh.”
“You would, and you have. And we got beat up and robbed, if memory serves.”
“He got in a lucky punch,” Carlos says.
“Lots of them, as I recall. But paying men for sex is not my dream scenario, okay?”
“Tell me.”
“Tell you what?”
“Your dream scenario.”
“Really?”
“Why not?”
“You’ll laugh.”
“No I won’t.”
“Well, I suppose I wouldn’t mind a nice, quiet evening with a decent guy.”
“What does that mean, exactly?”
“You know, a nice dinner in an elegant restaurant with linen tablecloths and napkins, and candles gracing the table. A handsome, attentive waiter with impeccable taste and washboard abs would personally select our lobsters and prepare them tableside, with brown butter, shallots, pine nuts, and tagliatelle.”
“Tagli-what?”
“It’s a pasta. While waiting, we’d sip a pretentious domestic wine and listen to soft, romantic music. Afterward, if my date is half the man I hope he is, he’d insist I try a flaming dessert, like bananas Foster, or cherries jubilee.”
Charlie’s words hang in the air like a heart-shaped balloon until Carlos says, “Are you shitting me?”
“What do you think, pervert? Now turn us to the left so I can restore Kathy’s wardrobe.”
“And then?”
“Then we need to find her cell phone and call Chris.”
“When we call, I do the talking,” Carlos says.
“Why can’t I ever be Jimmy?”
“Because you don’t sound like a Jimmy. You sound like a friggin’-”
“ Don’t say it! Don’t you dare say that word!” Charlie shouts.
“What I mean is your voice is higher-pitched. I sound more like a hit man.”
“A hit man who can’t shoot.”
“That’s a low blow.”
Charlie frowns. “Yes it was. I’m sorry. I was just pointing out that even though you’re Jimmy the hit man to Chris and the rest of the world, we’re a team.”
“Fine.”
“You need me, I need you.”
“Right. Got it.”
“I have an idea!” Charlie says.
“Great. Yay. Can’t wait to hear it.”
“How about in private, we just say we’re hit twins.”
“Yeah, fine. Whatever.”
“Yeah, fine. Whatever.”
18
Chris Fowler.
Cayman Islands.
Chris jumps when his cell phone rings, then checks the screen.
Kathy.
He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath.
“Hello?”
“It’s me,” Carlos says, “Jimmy.”
“Is she-”
“Yeah. She’s dead.”
“How?”
“It’s better you don’t know.”
“Did she suffer?”
“Not that I could tell.”
They go silent a moment. Chris says, “You won’t tell me how you killed her?”
“When the police question you, the less you know, the better you’ll come across.”
“Okay.”
Carlos says, “Where’s the balance?”
“The-what?”
“The rest of the money. The other ten grand?”
Chris pauses to think. He paid Jimmy ten already. What if he pays the balance and finds out Kathy’s still alive? On the other hand, not paying Jimmy the rest of the money would be stupid. He’s in Chris’s house, for God’s sake! And paying him later would require another phone call. Right now, they’re good. The call from Kathy’s cell phone gives the appearance she’s alive. When Chris calls her back in a half hour, she won’t answer. He’ll space a few calls over the rest of the day, then call one of the neighbors to check on her. They’ll find the body and call the cops. Then the cops will call him.
In the Caymans.
He’s home free, since all calls between he and Jimmy were made with disposable cell phones.
“Hello?” Carlos says.
“Huh?”
“We’re on a time limit here, Chris. Where’s the rest of the money?”
“Oh. Sorry. In the garage, under the gas can. Behind the ladder.”
Carlos clicks the phone off, hands it to Charlie, who says, “He still thinks you’re Jimmy?”