The air was cold. Her hand was colder still as she moved it up and down my naked flesh.
There was a sudden pressure against my crotch, and I tensed in surprise. I looked up and found Danny sitting at the foot of the bed, his hand kneading the flesh beneath my jeans.
“Relax,” he said.
I leaned back and watched Taylor’s face as Danny unbuttoned my pants. I was surprised at the intensity of her gaze; she looked absolutely spellbound—transfixed—as she watched Danny tease my cock free. Lust. It was lust in her eyes. She wants me. Immediately, my cock pulsed rock hard, even before Danny wrapped his hand around its shaft.
“Nice,” he muttered. Then my entire cock was engulfed in his hot mouth.
I groaned loudly, shutting my eyes at the intensity of the sensation.
Danny’s blowjob was like nothing I’d ever had before. The girls I’d been with had all been tentative and gentle, like they were afraid they’d break my cock if they worked it too hard. Danny knew better. I put my hands on the back of his head and started to thrust in and out. He took it without complaint.
I heard a loud, mechanical click and opened my eyes. Taylor was kneeling beside me with my camera pressed up against her face. She was shooting pictures down the length of my body. I let out a surprised, breathless laugh, then reached up and grabbed her breast. I could feel an erect nipple through her shirt; I could feel her heart beating wildly inside her chest.
At my touch, she let out a surprised gasp and dropped the camera to the bed. Her hands darted up and immediately covered her face.
Before I could pull my hand back, she was pushing me away. She kept one hand on her face, hiding her eyes and nose and mouth, and grabbed my wrist with the other. Her grip was strong as she pushed my hand back down to the bed.
Right then, Danny’s mouth went into overdrive, tightening and speeding up. My legs tensed involuntarily, and I let out a low groan. After a couple more seconds, the friction of his tongue pushed me into climax, and my rigid body fell limp.
When I recovered enough to open my eyes, I found Taylor watching me carefully. Her hands were back down in her lap, gripping the hem of her shirt. Her complexion looked ashen in the candlelight; the smile she gave me looked forced and a little bit grave.
“You really needed that, didn’t you?” Danny said, wiping his hand across his mouth. “I could feel it.”
Taylor smiled down at me and nodded, as if in agreement. Then she reached out and grabbed my hand. I could feel her body quivering as her fingers gripped me tight.
I ended up giving Danny a handjob while Taylor watched. After what he’d done for me, I figured it was the least I could do.
His cock felt odd in my hand. He was thicker than me and uncircumcised. And his scrotum was smooth and hairless.
He let out a loud growl as he came. Then he collapsed back against the bed and muttered a single breathless laugh. It was an absurd sound, without meaning or reason. He reached over the side of the bed and lifted a bottle of Wild Turkey into view.
The three of us lay in silence for a while, passing the bottle back and forth. I took deep swallows. Whatever clarity I’d had during the adrenaline-sharp sex, it quickly began to fade.
I was warm. I shut my eyes every time the room began to swim.
I opened my eyes and found Danny and Taylor huddled together at the door. Danny had his boots in one hand and the bottle of Wild Turkey in the other. When he saw my eyes flicker open, he flashed me a smile and a quick nod. Then he gave Taylor a peck on the cheek and disappeared into the dark hallway.
I closed my eyes again.
Later.
The room was dark, and I could feel Taylor moving beside me. Tentative fingers brushed against my arm.
“I’m sorry,” she said, her mouth a couple of inches behind my ear. She was nothing but a voice in the darkness, floating, disembodied. “I should have told you. I just… sometimes—most times, really—I can’t be touched. I just… can’t abide it.” Her voice was breathy, tripping over the emotion in her throat. “But I didn’t want that to come between us. I didn’t want to scare you away.”
I should have said something. Right then. Right there. I should have reassured her. It doesn’t matter. Or: Together we’ll figure it out. Or maybe: I really don’t give a shit if we’re touching or not. I’d be happy just standing ten feet away from you. But I couldn’t manage it. I couldn’t say a thing.
I grunted incoherently and fell back asleep.
10.1
Video clip. October 21, 08:15 A.M. Dead end:
The video starts midsprint, the entire screen jittering as the camera operator runs forward. Judging by the quality of the clip, the camera is a fairly cheap consumer model—strictly low-def. The color is muted and washed out. The audio is inconsistent, distorting in the upper registers.
The first couple of seconds take place outdoors, at the edge of a field. The ground is covered in snow, and the trees—swinging into view as the camera sways back and forth—are wreathed in a thin layer of frost.
The camera steadies long enough to show a hunched figure disappearing through an opening in the side of a hill. The opening is a rough mouth dug into the dirt, and the figure has to bend down to make it through. The camera follows in pursuit, heading toward the hole.
The volume is cranked up loud, and the operator’s breath rasps like a steam engine. Footfalls crunch through the thin layer of snow.
The camera swings to the side, revealing a disheveled young man, also in pursuit. This man pulls to a stop at the dark opening, directly in front of the camera. He lights a flashlight, then darts inside.
THE MAN’S VOICE—A DEAFENING, FRANTIC HISS: Mac!
The video is swallowed in darkness. There is an occasional blinding burst of light as the flashlight beam swings into view, but it does little to illuminate the scene. The squelch of muddy footsteps and the loud rasp of breath drown out all other sound.
THE MAN’S VOICE AGAIN: Mac!
The video jolts suddenly, and the tape hitches, sending up a single line of static. There is an inaudible curse from behind the camera, and this is greeted with a loud shhhhh! For a brief handful of seconds, the camera is relatively still, showing the dark earthen walls as the flashlight pans back and forth.
There are three open tunnels here, leading into the darkness ahead.
THE CAMERA OPERATOR’S VOICE, DEAFENINGLY LOUD: What the fuck is this?… (Followed by an unintelligible, breathless rush of words.)
The man with the flashlight sprints into the middle tunnel, and the camera follows. Fifteen seconds pass, filled with panting breath, loud footsteps, and momentary bursts of light. Then the man with the flashlight slows to a stop. The camera pans around him, revealing another man kneeling at a dead-end wall. His ear is pressed into the dirt, and his hands are splayed at his side. Tears streak his muddy face. His mouth is moving even before he starts to speak.
THE KNEELING MAN, IN A DISTORTED WHISPER: (Unintelligible)… her singing?
All three people freeze like statues, holding their breath. The camera catches the kneeling man as he closes his eyes and pushes his face deeper into the mud.
After a couple of seconds, a bare hint of noise swells up above the background hiss of videotape and speaker distortion. It is a melodic, wordless whisper, muffled and muddy, without place or direction.
It is sweet and warbling. And it is a long, long way away.