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Before Henry could answer, Rik said bluntly, ‘Henry — look, sorry to cut in, I can see this is a lovey-dovey moment, but there’s a bit of breaking news here. .’

Alison stared incredulously at Rik. Henry saw her reaction and for a moment was torn. . what the hell was so important? He did the balancing act in his head and it came down in Alison’s favour.

‘Just give us a minute, pal?’ He arched his eyebrows pointedly at his friend, trying to get the message across.

‘But-!’

‘One minute,’ Henry insisted.

Rik’s eyes narrowed. He ended his phone call and walked over to the bar where Karl and Karen Donaldson were standing, glancing back at Henry, curious and a little alarmed.

‘Alison.’ He touched her knee. ‘I will retire in the near future, I promise, and I can’t wait to get legitimately serving beer to all those sozzled villagers in Kendleton. . though I do have the feeling that me running a pub might be akin to Herod running a nursery. But I do have a few things to sort and a desk to clear. . but for the first time in my life, I’m going to have a very long period off sick and milk the system, during which time I will do the decent thing by you and go down on one knee somewhere a bit tropical. But only when I know I can get back up without having to use a cane or a crane.’

‘Sod the painkillers.’ Henry slapped Rik on the back, having managed to creakily get to the bar. ‘I need a pint. . and what’s so all-fired important on that telephone of yours?’

‘They’ve tracked her down.’

‘Where?’ Henry gasped. His insides did an empty spin.

‘Marseilles, would you believe?’

‘France?’

‘I think that’s where Marseilles is. . but get this. . she’s holed up in some grot-flat near the seafront and has opened fire at the bloody gendarmes. . there’s a bloody siege going on.’

Henry shook his head. ‘Who’d’ve thought it. .’

‘Told you she was a black widow.’