My limbs refused to respond. They rested on a tangle of pillows and sheets, too exhausted to listen to me. I couldn’t describe what Rurik and I had done as making love. More like fucking my brains out. It was dynamite. I wanted more but he said I needed to build stamina gradually or I’d regret it once the endorphins wore off.
He was right. I lay in his bed and just breathed.
The drug wore off sometime during the night. I didn’t feel any regrets about my lowered inhibitions, just happy that I’d only taken a drop. My mind felt clear and strong but tired.
The bedroom door swung open, Rurik balanced a tray in one hand as he walked in. He placed it on the wooden chest at the foot of the bed. “Breakfast is served, my lady.” His sweet, sexy smile warmed me.
“It’s the middle of the night.” I groaned as I made a half-hearted attempt to sit up. The silk sheets sat tangled at my feet and I pulled one of the corners to cover myself.
The smell of bacon made my stomach growl.
He chuckled at the sound. “You haven’t eaten today.” He stuffed pillows behind my back and placed the tray across my lap then removed the silver lid covering the meal. A plate of scrambled eggs, bacon and muffins spread before me. The bed listed as he sat on the edge to take the spoon from my hand. He scooped up some eggs and fed it to me.
I couldn’t help smile at the gesture but removed the spoon from his hands, determined to feed myself. The food tasted wonderful. “I didn’t know you could cook.”
His eyebrows shot up as he gave a sharp laugh. “I can’t. The cook made this.” He watched as I took another bite. “Is it good?”
“Give him my complements.” I mumbled around a mouth full. My empty stomach gurgled with joy. “Why would you need a cook?”
He picked at imaginary dirt in his fingernails. “To feed the humans we care for.” Though the words came out in a casual manner, his shoulders tensed and he glanced up once before continuing to examine his perfect manicure.
I took a sip of orange juice to help swallow the muffin caught in my dry throat. Obviously, other vampires lived here but the fact that other humans did surprised, maybe shocked, me.
He placed his hands on his lap and gave me gentle smile.
Anger started to bubble up inside of me. “Are they like cattle?” Even to me, my voice sounded strained.
“No. It’s not like that at all. Not anymore.” His smile grew. “They choose to live with us and in exchange we take care of them, like a family.”
“Families don’t use each other for food.”
He sighed, his smile faded. “You’re being judgmental.” His became stern. “How would you have us live? Hunting the streets at night for victims?” He crossed his arms over his bare chest. “We cherish and care for our humans. In return, they cherish and care for us.”
These heated words justified my cause to prove his innocence even more. “I don’t know what’s right anymore, Rurik.” I shook my head and felt lost. Maybe I was being judgmental. What other conscientious way could they feed? “They’re here of their own free will? No mind tricks?”
He chuckled and shook his head. “No mind tricks. No, how did you phrase it? Mojo. They’re here like you are, of their own free will.”
“Is this how most vampires live?” I picked up my fork again to resume my meal. This action seemed to calm him and he relaxed his arms.
“I can’t speak for the world, Connie, but in Budapest it is. There are those who still like the old ways. Who speak against our new philosophy to live in this way.”
I looked up from my plate. “Dragos?”
He touched my hair. “Perceptive. Dragos is very powerful, very old, and very insane. He frightens Tane.” He hesitated. “And me.”
“Is that why he attacked you? Because you chose to live this way?” I guess discrimination wasn’t only human based. It transcended to the monsters too.
Rurik massaged between my eyebrows with his thumb. “You’re thinking too hard again. Don’t worry. Every little thing will be all right, Rabbit.”
The scrape of my fork against the plate surprised us both. I’d eaten everything he’d brought except what was in a small cup by the juice. “What this?” I held it up and emptied some pills into my hand. They looked like vitamins.
“Iron supplements.”
I glared at him. “You’ve got to be kidding.”
“By your earlier reaction after I’d fed, I thought you’d want to be my main ... ahh ... well.”
“Meal? Feed? Main course?” I laughed at the absurdity of it all. Rurik ran a vampire commune. They were paranormal hippies, who gave their ‘family ’ iron supplements. Tears spilled from my eyes. “Are you sure I’m organic?” The juice cup rattled on the tray from my laughter and Rurik saved it from spilling.
He frowned. “I don’t understand the joke.”
I wiped the tears from my cheeks. “No, you wouldn’t.”
“I hoped you’d want to join us and be with me.” The disappointment in his voice sobered me.
“You’re not what I expected.” I tried to explain but how could I without telling him everything. Our relationship was based on lies, my lies. He’d been nothing but protective, kind and loving. Who was the real monster in this bed?
I popped the pills in my mouth and washed them down with the last of the juice. It made him smile again. I needed to tell him the truth, all of it, even if it drove him from me, but I feared that the most. My heart couldn’t bare another assault. It was held together by threads Rurik had just sewn to mend the tear.
He returned the tray onto the chest. “Where are you going?”
My foot dangled over the edge of the bed. “To shower.”
He pushed me flat to the bed and slid me back up to the pillows. “So I could just dirty you again?” His smile spread wide to expose the dainty, sharp fangs. He yanked the sheet that covered my body to the floor and crawled over me.
My heart raced as he ran his hands over my skin. “Where to begin?” He brushed his face against my left breast, over my hammering heart. His tongue made contact with my skin.
I closed my eyes and arched my back. A sense of pressure built around me like the air compressed itself. Then I felt him brush against my mental shield. A flood of panic filled me. I didn’t understand what he wanted and pushed at his shoulders so he’d get off.
He never noticed or pretended not to. His power surrounded me, tried to lure me into submission, and lay down my defenses. I’d forgotten how strong he could be, he never tried to touch me mentally since we first met.
I panted, not from passion but fear. I didn’t want him to find out what I was. Not this way.
The power shifted, like a weight off my chest, and I could breathe. I looked down at Rurik who gazed up at me with curiosity.
“Why do you fight so much? It will hurt worse.”
“What the hell are you doing? I don’t want you poking around in my head.” The sharp words were out of my mouth before I could edit them.
“I got that impression the first time we met. I didn’t cross the line then. I only influenced you, never went deeper. Why would I now?” He rubbed his cheek on my breast. “You’re always so closed up. It’s like a prison in there, with stone walls and barbed wires. You’re painful to touch.”
I closed my eyes so he wouldn’t see the tears. Painful. I believed it, I lived in that prison. Colby taught me to build those walls to protect me from being taken, but I’m the one who added the barb and never opened the door.