PUERTA DEL REY, Hispania (API)-A massive explosion rocked the southwestern corner of this island today. U.S. government sources said the explosion occurred in a secret Soviet military installation, and Washington instantly sent U.S. Marines to the site.
Whether the secret installation contained Soviet nuclear warheads could not immediately be determined, because of the widespread destruction of the explosion. But, in a ghastly corollary, a mass grave was found near the installation where more than two hundred female bodies apparently workers on the project were buried.
El Presidente Cara De Culo, in the final development in this macabre series of events, was found dead in his palace only hours after word of the explosion at the secret installation.
De Culo's right hand had been cut off, and his body was found impaled on a large jungle knife. Whether the president took his own life by throwing himself on his knife was not known, but there were reports from government insiders that two men, one white and one black, were seen leaving the governmental palace minutes before the president's body was found. Who they were is not known, but already the streets of this small capital city are beginning to ring with tales of the exploits of "the demons of the north."