His words make it even worse, so I pull back and shift to slide my leg back into my pants. He watches as I grab the rest of my clothes and walk to the bathroom.
After I clean myself up and put my clothes back on, I walk out to see Pike wiping up the beer I spilled all over the floor.
“Sorry,” I say as I stand there, and when he walks past me to throw away the wad of paper towels, he responds, “I don’t care about the beer.”
“I’m sorry for more than just the beer,” I tell him. “I wish I could give you more money.”
“I knew what I was signing up for. We both did. It’s too risky, so just ignore my bullshit,” he says as he walks back to the couch and motions for me to sit next to him. He pulls out a cigarette and lights it, taking in a long drag and then adding, “I just missed you,” as the smoke drifts out of his mouth, forming a vaporous cloud in front of his face. “When will you be able to get back here again?”
“More often after the New Year. Bennett has a busy travel schedule, and I’m sure it’s gonna be even busier now.”
“Why’s that?”
“He just bought another production plant earlier this week in Dubai, so I imagine he’ll be going back to oversee the new outfit on the place and get it up and running,” I explain.
“That’s good for us,” he laughs and I join him.
“My thoughts exactly,” I say through a thick smile that I let wane when I ask, “How’ve you been?”
“You know how it is. Nothing has changed for me,” he tells me. Pike has always found a way to skate by, pulling small cons and such. But he makes most of his money selling drugs. I used to as well. When we got out of the system, we lived with one of his friends that Pike worked for, dealing drugs. Pike was the middleman, putting himself on the street to sell product and made a decent amount of money doing so.
“You need anything?”
“For you to get your head on straight with this one.”
“I’ve got my head on straight, Pike.” I hate when he talks to me like that. Like I don’t know what the hell I’m doing when I’m the one pulling the biggest con here, putting his skills in the sewer. “My focus has never wavered. But I need you to trust me. I know what I’m doing.”
“Just be careful. Hands clean, remember?”
I nod and then grab the remote to turn on the TV. We spend the next few hours hanging out like we used to, but before it gets too late, I know I have to leave and head back into the city.
“With the holidays coming up, don’t get mad if I can’t get away, okay? I’ll try, but until January, it’ll be hard.”
“I get it. Don’t do anything stupid trying to come see me,” he says as we stand up and walk to the door.
I grab my coat and slip it on, then turn to give him a long hug. It’s hard to leave him, knowing he’s here in the shit-hole. He’s the only family I have and to not have any contact with him is scary for me since I know how easily family can be taken away. So with my cheek pressed to his chest, I take in his scent and hold on to it while he runs the fingers from both of his hands through my hair and down to my face. Cupping my jaw, he angles me to look up at him. His brown eyes are intense when he asks, “Hard as steel?”
“Yeah,” I breathe.
He taught me, at an early age, how to live without emotions. How to wrap that steel cage around my heart, always telling me that no one can ever hurt you if you can’t feel. So I don’t. Outside of Pike, there’s no one I’ll give that to because emotions are what make people weak. And I can’t afford to make that slip. The heart is a weapon—a self-inflicting weapon—that if not trained properly, can destroy a person.
I WATCH AS Bennett moves around the bedroom, getting dressed in his three-piece suit to go in to the office for the day. He arrived late a couple nights ago and as I presumed, his schedule is now packed with travel after the purchase he just made. Even though he’s home now, he’s been living at the office before he heads out again at the end of this week.
The chill in the air is getting to me, and I sink down into the bed and further under the covers.
“Do you need me to adjust the thermostat?” Bennett asks me as he nears my side of the bed.
“Are you not cold?”
He sits on the mattress beside me, leans down to kiss my nose, and then smiles.
“What?” I ask as he pulls away.
“Your nose is cold. Come here.”
I sit up, and he wraps me in his arms in an attempt to warm me up. Slipping my arms around his waist, under his suit coat, I curl into him.
“I missed this,” I breathe. “Having you—here—with me.”
“I know. I missed it too,” he says, moving back to look into my eyes. “You can always come with me, you know? You don’t have to be alone.”
“I know, but Declan has already scheduled appointments out with vendors for the party. I’ll be busy for the next few weeks.”
“How did your visit with the florist go the other day?” he asks.
Running my hand along his silk tie, I tell him, “It went well. I think we got nearly everything picked out.”
“Good.”
He combs his fingers through my hair and leans in to kiss me. Slow and soft, taking his time. Bennett tends to be overly affectionate after he returns from a trip, and I never deny him, so I shift up to my knees and hold his face in my hands. When he grips my hips, clutching onto the satin of my slip gown, I take over his mouth, urging him on. He pulls me down atop his lap, and his growing cock presses against me as I grind my hips into him.
“God, baby. I can’t get enough of you,” he mumbles against my neck, between his gentle kisses.
“You want me?”
“I always want you,” he tells me. “But you’re gonna make me late. I’ve got a meeting.”
Grinning at him, I say, “I’ll be fast,” before slipping off his lap and onto my knees on the floor beside the bed. Quickly working my hands, I undo his slacks and yank them down. And as he sits on the edge of the bed, I wrap my lips around his dick and suck him off while he moans my name.
Once fully satisfied, he kisses me deeply when I walk him to the door before he leaves.
“I hate that I have to leave when all I want is to make love to you all day.”
The ringing of my cell interrupts us, and he waits while I grab it off the kitchen counter and answer.
“Hello?”
“Nina, it’s Declan.”
“Hi.”
“I was wondering if you could stop by the hotel later today. Betty, from Marguerite Gardens, is having a few arrangements delivered for you to look at,” he says.
“Um . . . sure. That shouldn’t be a problem at all. What time would be good?”
“They should be delivered by noon.”
“Okay, I’ll swing by later then,” I tell him before we hang up.
“Who was that?” Bennett asks when I walk back over to him.
“Declan. The florist is sending over some sample arrangements for me to look at later today, so I’ll just take one of the cars to the hotel if Baldwin is going to be with you.”
“You sure?”
Lifting up on my toes, I give him a little kiss. “I’m sure.”
“I’ll call you when I leave the office. How about I take you out for a nice dinner at Everest tonight?”
“Sounds perfect,” I say with a smile.
He runs his thumb down my lips and then gives my chin a little pinch, saying, “Have a good day, okay?”
“You too.”
As soon as he leaves, I walk into the kitchen to put the kettle on the stove, and while I wait for it to boil, I look over to the dining room table. The extravagant vase of purple roses that Bennett gave me when he got home last night sits in the center of the table. The sight causes a physical reaction inside of me. A twisting in my gut as I grit my teeth. I hate purple. I told him it was my favorite though, so when he gives me flowers, his way of showering me with affection, it only reminds me of everything I hate. Purple walls flash in my mind, and it only reinforces my steel wall. Bennett is everything a husband should be, so it was essential that I create fissures within him. Purple flowers being one of them.