“No. None at all. I agree it’s a puzzle.”
“Like the puzzle of how the python?”
“The problem of how the python is second only to why the python.”
“I know.”
On Naklua Road I tell the driver to let the Monitor and me out of the car. We walk quickly in the heat toward a shop whose window is packed with pirated CDs, most of them games.
“I know why you’re doing this,” the Monitor confides.
“You do?”
“You’re going to fuck the farang woman, aren’t you? Are you going to a hotel?”
“I’m not sure.”
“I don’t want to waste your money.”
“How so?”
“PlayStation 1 is totally out of date. Okay, it’s cheap, but it has no value, you couldn’t sell it secondhand.”
“And the others?”
“Microsoft Xbox is good but it doesn’t have the range of software.”
“And GameCube?”
“GameCube is okay, but it’s out of date.”
“Leaving?”
“PlayStation 2. It’s awesome. You can download from the Net, it plays everything designed for PS1, it plays DVD sex movies, DVD games.”
“Do you need a computer?”
The Monitor looks at me strangely. “You plug it into a TV, like all the game consoles.”
“Oh, I didn’t know. How much is PS2?”
“Seventeen thousand baht.”
“Seventeen?”
“You want me out of the way with my mouth shut, right?”
“Right.”
In the store the Monitor starts into an arcane argument with a young shop assistant about the latest version of a game called Final Fantasy. The clerk, a boy about fifteen with ring-riveted eyebrows, shows disdain. It seems he favors Dragon Warrior VII, and even Paper Mario, rather than Final Fantasy, a position the Monitor cannot relate to. “Are you kidding? Paper Mario better than Final Fantasy? Final Fantasy is awesome.”
A shrug from the boy. “Look, I work here, what do you think I do all day? I play the games. What do you do?”
“I’m a cop.”
“So, how would you be at the same level as me? I’m telling you, DWVII is more awesome and you get a hundred hours.”
The Monitor is seriously nonplussed. “What’s the ending like?”
“Awesome.”
“What about shoot-outs, what’s the best in your opinion?”
“In my opinion? How can you do better than Unreal Championship. The guns…”
“Awesome?”
“Awesome.”
“How many games do you throw in with the machine?”
“Usually five, but since you’re a cop, you can have ten.”
The Monitor explains to me that the selection is going to take some time. “What about porn?” he asks the shop assistant.
“We have everything. What do you need, straight or gay? S &M? Lesbian? Whips and candle wax? Gang bangs? What race, farang, Chinese, Indian, Thai, Latino?”
“Latino? What is Latino porn like?”
“Awesome.”
The Monitor gives me the nod and allows the shop assistant to take him to one of the booths where a PlayStation 2 is already set up. I watch while the clerk loads a disc and the screen immediately shows a dark-eyed beauty naked on a park bench somewhere in Latin America. One by one muscular young men arrive color-coded in blond, black and auburn, no doubt to make them distinguishable. The Monitor fast-forwards like an expert, freezing moments of penetration which he examines with the eye of a connoisseur before continuing, discarding all padding. He is done with Latino porn in less than five minutes and the clerk loads the more serious entertainment of Dragon Warrior VII. The Monitor is immediately absorbed and seems to impress the clerk with his swordplay. The clerk returns to me and I pay for the machine. Outside the FBI is waiting in the car. She says: “That easy?” I nod. There was something akin to real intelligence on the Monitor’s face when he was doing battle with the dragon. I think there must be some cultural moral in that, but Jones never appreciates those kinds of thoughts. “What is he watching?”
“Latino porn and Dragon Warrior VII.”
“D’you think he is someone from humanity’s immediate future?”
“How is it you can say things like that and I can’t?”
“Are we going to have another one of those arguments?”
“No.”
“How did you explain to the Monitor the reason why you wanted him out of the way?”
“I let him think I was going to fuck you.”
“Doesn’t your Buddhist code stipulate that you’re not allowed to tell lies?”
“There’s relative truth.”
“Want to make it absolute?”
“We’ve been through that. We’re culturally and spiritually incompatible.”
“Meaning my abrasive American personality turns you right off, huh?”
“You are an excellent agent.”
“How about if I were to soften up? I hear Johnson’s baby oil can help in these kinds of situations.” She turns away from my paranoid gaze with a smirk on her face. “It’s the protocol,” she says to the window, “information-sharing. Your Colonel is pretty selective, but then I guess so are we.”
At the end of the waterfront strip we veer off to the left, then to the right. Halfway to Jomtien Beach, we take a left down a private road belonging to an upmarket block of condominiums. It’s upmarket for Thailand, anyway. No one has bothered to repave the road since I was last here a few years ago, and we have to sit and wait in the car for the security to come and open the main gate.
I have timed the journey, taking the likely traffic problem into account, so that we arrive at about noon, when all good Russians are somewhere between sober and drunk. It is 12:12 p.m. when we reach the penthouse apartment on the thirty-seventh floor of the condo building and I press the buzzer. I agonized over whether to call ahead or not and finally decided not to. If Iamskoy is compromised with a half dozen Siberian women without visas, or who have overstayed their visas, or are obviously on the game, he might be that much more willing to talk. A lot will depend on how drunk he is, though. Too drunk and he will pass out, the way he did last time. Too sober and he’ll be uptight, too far into himself with his Russian melancholy to communicate at all.
I think I might be in luck because a woman answers the door. She is about twenty-six, dyed blond hair, Caucasian, thick lips and a wolfish look which she clearly believes to be irresistible. She is wearing a black dress which comes an inch or two below her crotch and reveals a lot of cleavage. Her perfume is not up to my mother’s standards, but then I don’t think this woman has spent much time in Paris. She looks blank and about to close the door on us when I flash my ID.