A voice in the back of her mind was telling her how easy it was to merely say to Pi Nok: “Okay, have him. He’s yours if you think you can really catch him.” And she would be free. It was what she wanted, after all. But another voice, the promptings of Lobha, or Greed, was already suggesting ways of making use of the information that Pi Nok was giving her to achieve the same goal without losing the benefits that she had come to feel she deserved. That same evening Darling visited her. They greeted each other warmly. Neither mentioned the encounter on the escalator at the shopping mall. He declared immediately that he was not in the mood for sex. He told her to open the champagne and then, after taking a big gulp from the glass that she handed him, said casually: “And who was that boy you were with this morning?”
Nong Maew had expected the question. “Oh, that was an old friend of mine from university,” she answered brightly.
“Are you going out together?”
Nong Maew smiled broadly before replying: “No, he’s gay. Couldn’t you tell, darling?”
Khun Taworn nodded his head without changing his expression and took another big sip of his champagne. Nong Maew felt that it was the moment to take the gamble.
“Would you like to meet him, darling? He’s very interesting. He used to study economics, you know. He’s brilliant. He told me that he recognized you straightaway because he is an admirer of your party. He thinks you’ll win the next election for sure, especially with that line you’re pushing about the family and the community.”
Darling took a couple of seconds to scrutinize Nong Maew’s face for any sign that she was being anything less than ingenuous. Satisfied, he nodded again.
“Why not? Yes, I’ll meet your friend. If he’s as clever as you say, I might be able to use him in my research team.”
Nong Maew smiled inwardly. This was her first step to freedom.
During the days that followed Nong Maew was in a strange mood. The fact that her plan involved betraying both her friend and her benefactor was something that filled her with conflicting emotions. It was not exactly that she felt guilty for what she was doing, but there was, nevertheless, a certain unpleasantness that she could not easily shake off. After all, Pi Nok had never done her any harm. On the contrary, he had always been patient, supportive and generous to her when she was down. As for her Darling, he had given her a few years of affluence that she had not expected to come her way. The only real complaint against him was that he had treated her as a body and nothing else, but then all the men she had met, with the exception of Pi Nok, had done that. To counter her uncomfortably acute sense of disloyalty to both of them, Nong Maew kept reminding herself what her mother had taught her when she was a little girclass="underline" that you are totally on your own in this world, and you have to look after your own interests first. And in the end her mind yielded up the justifications she needed to go ahead with her treacherous scheme. After that it was merely a matter of finding the nerve to carry it through.
With her newly found sense of purpose, Nong Maew now took the decisive step towards her freedom. She called Pi Nok and asked him casually if he had any luck contacting Khun Taworn. Pi Nok, thinking that Nong Maew was provoking him, answered coldly: “I’m in no rush. I’m not that desperate, whatever you may think. I’ll get to him when I want.”
“Well, then, you can come to dinner,” she said.
“He’s interested in seeing you.”
There was silence on the other end. She could sense Pi Nok’s excitement. She knew him.
“What’s your game?” he finally asked.
“I’ve been thinking, that’s all. I don’t want us to be rivals. And I know you’ll find some way of meeting him. When you’re determined, there’s no stopping you. So why can’t we be cool about it?” Pi Nok, touched and flattered by her words even reassured her that he would never try to steal Darling away from her.
Satisfied that there had as yet been no communication between Pi Nok and Darling, Nong Maew sent Khun Taworn a text on his mobile phone. It was a rule that she never called him directly because, given his position, he was afraid that his phone was bugged. His paranoia had affected her to such an extent that she often imagined someone listening in to her own phone and was constantly noting little odd sounds which she could not account for. But that day, as part of her plan to go against the guidelines, she decided to take the risk and sent him a blatantly lascivious text message telling him how she was sad and lonely and needed to see him urgently. She made it sound like she was a bitch in heat. He was around that very afternoon and made no mention of her transgression. Having taken the medicine in the limousine, as soon as he was through the door he was ripping off his jacket and was soon on top of her. Passion over, he said that he had a meeting to attend and could not stay. He showered quickly and began to put his clothes back on.
“I am angry with you,” she blurted out, as she lay exhausted and naked on the bed while she watched him dressing.
“You and my friend were lovers once, weren’t you? He told me, so don’t deny it. He gave me all the sordid details.” Her voice was more hurt than angry. Khun Taworn stopped what he was doing, looked at her for a while in surprise and then burst out laughing.
“So he told you.”
“And you’re still hot for him. I know you are.”
He made no reply to this last remark, which she had spat out accusingly.
“I want out! I can’t stand it. It’s awful.”
She was now raising her voice to match her emotions.
“Come on, calm down. Don’t be jealous.” Khun Taworn’s face suddenly looked weary and dark.
“No! I mean it,” Nong Maew continued, undeterred. “I’ve had enough. You don’t really care for me, and now I know that you prefer men. It’s obvious. So let me go. I’ll fix you up with him. He can take over this apartment if you like. Just give me something for the years you’ve had from me, and I’ll be out of your life.”
Nong Maew was sobbing now, and as she did so, she remembered Darling’s hard advice to her at their first dinner in the French restaurant, when he was setting out the terms of their contract: “I don’t want any emotions in this. If you’re going to get possessive and jealous and cry because I don’t love you and that kind of stuff, then don’t even think of being with me because I don’t have time for any of it.” He had said it all bluntly enough.
Now, even without looking up at him, she could feel his annoyance and realized that she had reached his point of intolerance. So with every second her sobs become more intense. She was burying her head in the pillow and gripping it with both her hands.
“Oh, stop it! That’s enough!” Khun Taworn was shouting as he closed his ears with his palms. “I told you that I can’t stand this kind of thing. And by the way, I told you never to get in touch with me by phone unless it’s an absolute emergency. You’re getting to be a real pain in the neck.”
“Then let me go! I’ll leave you in peace. I’ll let you have Pi Nok, even if it breaks me up. But I can’t share you with him or anyone else anymore. It killed me to see you with your wife the other day. I can’t live with jealousy. I just can’t. I’ll do something to myself that you’ll regret if you carry on treating me like this.”