Gideon put his hand at the small of my back and steered me out to the elevators, garnering raised brows from Megumi when we passed reception. I shifted restlessly as he hit the call button for the elevator, wishing I could’ve made it through the day without seeing the man whose touch I craved like a drug.
He faced me as we waited for the car, running his fingertips down the sleeve of my satin blouse. “Every time I close my eyes, I see you in that red dress. I hear the sounds you make when you’re turned on. I feel you sliding over my cock, squeezing me like a fist, making me come so hard it hurts.”
“Don’t.” I looked away, unable to bear the intimate way he was looking at me.
“I can’t help it.”
The arrival of the elevator was a relief. He caught my hand and pulled me inside. After he put his key in the panel, he tugged me closer. “I’m going to kiss you, Eva.”
“I don’t-”
He pulled me into him and sealed his mouth over mine. I resisted as long as I could; then I melted at the feel of his tongue stroking slow and sweet over mine. I’d wanted his kiss since we’d had sex. I wanted the reassurance that he valued what we’d shared, that it meant something to him as it had to me.
I was left bereft once again when he pulled away.
“Come on.” He pulled the key out as the door opened.
Gideon’s redheaded receptionist said nothing this time, although she eyed me strangely. In contrast, Gideon’s secretary, Scott, stood when we approached and greeted me pleasantly by name.
“Good afternoon, Miss Tramell.”
“Hi, Scott.”
Gideon gave him a curt nod. “Hold my calls.”
“Yes, of course.”
I entered Gideon’s expansive office, my gaze drifting to the sofa where he’d first touched me intimately.
Lunch was arranged on the bar-two plates covered in metal salvers.
“Can I take your purse?” he asked.
I looked at him, saw he’d taken off his jacket and slung it over his arm. He stood there in his tailored slacks and vest, his shirt and tie both a pristine white, his hair dark and thick around his breathtaking face, his eyes a wild and dazzling blue. In a word, he amazed me. I couldn’t believe I’d made love to such a gorgeous man.
But then, it hadn’t meant the same thing to him.
“Eva?”
“You’re beautiful, Gideon.” The words fell out of my mouth without conscious thought.
His brows lifted; then a softness came into his eyes. “I’m glad you like what you see.”
I handed him my purse and moved away, needing the space. He hung his coat and my purse on the coatrack, then moved to the bar.
I crossed my arms. “Let’s just get this over with. I don’t want to see you anymore.”
8
Gideon shoved a hand through his hair and exhaled harshly. “You don’t mean that.”
I was suddenly very tired, exhausted from fighting with myself over him. “I really do. You and me…it was a mistake.”
His jaw tightened. “It wasn’t. The way I handled it afterward was the mistake.”
I stared at him, startled by the fierceness of his denial. “I wasn’t talking about the sex, Gideon. I’m talking about my agreeing to this crazy strangers-with-benefits deal between us. I knew it was all wrong from the beginning. I should’ve listened to my instincts.”
“Do you want to be with me, Eva?”
“No. That’s what-”
“Not like we discussed at the bar. More than that.”
My heart started to pound. “What are you talking about?”
“Everything.” He left the bar and came closer. “I want to be with you.”
“You didn’t seem like you did Saturday.” My arms tightened around my middle.
“I was…reeling.”
“So? I was, too.”
His hands went to his hips. Then his arms crossed like mine. “Christ, Eva.”
I watched him squirm and felt a flare of hope. “If that’s all you’ve got, we’re done.”
“The hell we are.”
“We’ve already hit a dead end if you’re going to take a head trip every time we have sex.”
He visibly struggled with what to say. “I’m used to having control. I need it. And you blew it all to hell in the limousine. I didn’t handle that well.”
“Ya think?”
“Eva.” He approached. “I’ve never experienced anything like that. I didn’t think it was possible for me to. Now that I have…I’ve got to have it. I’ve got to have you.”
“It’s just sex, Gideon. Super awesome sex, but that can seriously screw with your head when the two people doing it aren’t good for each other.”
“Bullshit. I’ve admitted I fucked up. I can’t change what happened, but I can sure as shit get pissed that you want to cut me off because of it. You laid out your rules and I adjusted to accommodate them, but you won’t make even a tiny adjustment for me. You have to meet me halfway.” His face was hard with frustration. “At least give me a damn inch.”
I stared at him, trying to figure out what he was doing and where this was going. “What do you want, Gideon?” I asked softly.
He caught me to him and cupped my cheek in one hand. “I want to keep feeling the way I feel when I’m with you. Just tell me what I have to do. And give me some room to screw up. I’ve never done this before. There’s a learning curve.”
I placed my palm over his heart and felt its pounding rhythm. He was anxious and passionate, and that had me on edge. How was I supposed to respond? Did I go with my gut or my common sense? “Done what before?”
“Whatever it takes to spend as much time with you as possible. In and out of bed.”
The rush of delight that swept through me was ridiculously powerful. “Do you understand how much work and time a relationship between us is going to take, Gideon? I’m wiped out already. Plus I’m still working on some personal stuff, and I have my new job…my crazy mother…”
My fingers covered his mouth before he could open it. “But you’re worth it, and I want you bad enough. So I guess I don’t have a choice, do I?”
“Eva. Damn you.” Gideon lifted me, hitching one arm beneath my rear to urge me to wrap my legs around his waist. He kissed me hard on the mouth and nuzzled his nose against mine. “We’ll figure it out.”
“You say that as if it’ll be easy.” I knew I was high-maintenance and he was obviously going to be the same.
“Easy’s boring.” He carried me over to the bar and set me down on a barstool. He pulled the dome off my place setting and revealed a massive cheeseburger and fries. The meal was still warm, thanks to a heated granite slab beneath the plate.
“Yum,” I murmured, becoming aware of how hungry I was. Now that we’d talked, my appetite had returned full force.
He snapped open my napkin and laid it over my lap with a squeeze to my knee; then he took the seat beside me. “So, how do we do this?”
“Well, you pick it up with your hands and put it in your mouth.”
He shot me a wry look that made me smile. It felt good to smile. It felt good to be with him. It usually did…for a little while. I took a bite of my burger, moaning when I got a full hit of its flavor. It was a traditional cheeseburger, but the taste was divine.
“Good, right?” he asked.
“Very good. In fact, a guy who knows about burgers this good might be worth keeping to myself.” I wiped my mouth and hands. “How resistant are you to exclusivity?”
As he set his burger down, there was an eerie stillness to him. I couldn’t begin to guess what he was thinking. “I assumed that was implied in our arrangement. But to avoid any doubts, I’ll be clear and say there won’t be any other men for you, Eva.”
A shiver moved through me at the blunt finality in his tone and the iciness of his gaze. I knew he had a dark side; I’d learned long ago how to spot and avoid men who had dangerous shadows in their eyes. But the familiar alarm bells didn’t ring around Gideon as they maybe should have. “But women are okay?” I asked to lighten the mood.