Right when I’m about to turn the key in the ignition, a face shows up behind my window, spooking the hell out of me. A squeal and then a growl comes from my mouth as I promptly roll down my window.
“Adrian! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”
“No, but that look on your face is priceless.” He grins.
I roll my eyes, but then I remember what just happened and that he just witnessed the most epic fail ever. “Sorry about that … um … thing.” I fumble to put my hair behind my ear, insta-flush happening right away.
“Right. I really want to forget about that thing.”
“Sorry.” I turn toward him. “I’m really sorry you had to see all that.”
“It’s okay; I was mostly talking about that other thing that was flung at my face.”
I thought my face couldn’t turn into a strawberry, but I guess I was wrong.
“Hey, don’t worry about it.” He reaches to touch my shoulder. “You weren’t the one throwing the damn thing.” He laughs. “Chris has a knack for rudeness.”
“Tell me about it,” I snort, but then sigh.
“Hey … are you okay?” He cocks his head, and there’s a genuine smile on his face.
I haven’t seen him in a while, which makes it all the more uncomfortable that we had to see each other in a situation like this. However, his smile always has this soothing effect on me. It’s as if he always knows what’s going on in our lives, as if he can see right through you.
It makes me want to burst into tears and hug him tight.
“Yeah,” I say, swallowing down the impending tears. “Yeah, I’m okay.”
“You sure? Because you don’t seem like it.”
“Yeah … well, I guess that’s what happens when your stepbrother walks in on you having sex with another one.” I try to laugh it off, but it’s the weirdest thing ever.
He grins. “Yeah, it is kind of awkward.”
“Tell me about it,” I muse. This whole conversation is awkward as hell.
“Do you want to know what I think?” he asks.
I look up at him while pushing back the tears and blowing out a breath. “Give it to me straight, Adrian.”
“I honestly … am fine with everything.”
My jaw drops and a frown makes my face scrunch up. “Wait, what?”
“You heard me,” he muses, smiling silly. “What, you thought I didn’t know this already?”
“How? Who told you? Chris?” I ask.
“No one. I kind of figured it out for myself. All those looks at the dining table and those secret conversations you were having back when we were still living at our parents’ house …”
I make a face. “You were eavesdropping on us?”
He rubs the back of his head. “No, I kind of just accidentally overheard.”
I rub my lips together. “But nobody told you, right?”
“Relax. Chris isn’t to blame. I’ve known for quite some time that there was something going on between you guys. I just couldn’t figure out exactly what.”
“Until today.”
“Right. It caught me off guard, but when I left, I thought about it for a second and it all clicked together.” He smiles at me and squeezes my arm lightly. “I understand.”
“But …” I slap my hand against my forehead. “God, this is so wrong.”
“Don’t worry about it, Em. You two aren’t related. It isn’t against the law. Yeah, it is a bit weird to see you two like that, but I can get used to the idea.”
“But what about Tricia? And your dad? Oh god … what have we done,” I mutter.
“You think it’s a mistake that you two ended up together there?”
“Yeah!” I say, raising my brow.
He laughs again. “Well, it sure looked like you two have been pushing and pulling at each other for quite some time. I’d say it was unavoidable.”
“That doesn’t make it okay.” I look at the seat beside me. “Hey, do you wanna sit down or something? You don’t have to stand out there.”
His lips quirk up into a smile. “Nah, I’m fine. I just wanted to talk to you. I saw you running away from his room quite fast after I left. I stayed because I was trying to make up my mind whether I should go back and talk to Chris after you two had some time alone, but then when I saw you, I realized that I kind of ruined it for you guys. So here I am, talking to you instead.”
“Oh, no, it’s not your fault,” I say. “It’s just … I don’t feel like I can do this. We’re sort of family. And the media would tear him to pieces if they found out.”
“Or maybe you just don’t know what you want yet.”
“Maybe. But there’s much more to it than that,” I say, looking him in the eye.
“You mean what happened …?”
I nod and look away. I can’t look anyone in the eye when they’re talking about that.
He shrugs. “It’s not my decision to make, but if I can give you a piece of advice, it’s that I would suggest you take a break, think about what you really want, and then come back to tell him. Chris isn’t someone who will let things go easily, especially if he wants them badly, and I can tell he wants you more than anything in the world.”
My cheeks heat up from that comment. “How do you know?”
“I’ve seen the way he looks at you. As I said, I’ve known for a very long time that there was something going on.”
I nod, wondering what I’m supposed to do now. It’s a hard decision, considering I still feel resentful for what Chris has done. However, I can’t ignore my growing feelings for him either.
Adrian clears his throat. “Well, whatever you do, I’m sure it’ll be all right. I know Mother will accept the truth, eventually. It might take her a while … but she won’t stand in your way either.”
“Right …” Why do I find that so hard to believe?
“After all, she’s done the same thing,” he muses. “She followed her heart. She didn’t give us a choice in the matter, so she has no say in our choices either.” He shrugs. “At least, that’s my idea about this whole thing, and I’m sure if you’d present it like that, she’d have no other choice but to agree.”
“But I don’t … It’s too difficult.”
“The things we want the most come at a hefty price, Em.”
I roll my eyes at him. “I do not want him the most. Jesus, Chris, out of all people. I want to slap myself for even thinking of being with him in that way. He’s such a bastard.”
Adrian laughs out loud. “Yep, you’re right about that one. Nothing you or I can do to change that about him.”
“I hate him so much,” I growl.
“But you like him a lot too,” Adrian adds.
I give him the stink eye. “Not helping.”
“Hey, I’m just telling you what I think. You asked me to give it to you straight. Now I have.”
“I still don’t know what to do.” I take a big breath and blow it out again, but it doesn’t quell the uneasy feeling in my stomach.
Adrian taps the hood of my car. “Think about it. I’m gonna go back in there and talk to my little brother because he’s obviously in need of some assistance. And I don’t mean the cleaning part, as I’ve seen enough filth for the day.” He winks at me.
“Thanks,” I say. “For … you know.”
“I know.” He smiles. “And don’t worry; I’ll make sure Chris doesn’t do anything stupid.”
“He’s kind of drunk,” I say. “And pissed off too now.”
“He’ll be sober before he gets out of that damn room. I’m not letting him out of my sight. Go home. Take some time for yourself. You need it.”
And then he turns around and walks back into the venue, leaving me behind in my car, still clueless about what to do … and about myself.
Why I’ve ever gone along with anything Chris suggested, only god knows.
All I know is that I hate him. I hate him … and at the same time, I want him more than anything. I can’t stop thinking about him, but I have to stop thinking about him for the sake of my family and my job. And his job, let’s not forget that.
Yet we both can’t stop wanting each other, and it’s getting in the way of everything to the point of being infuriating. Especially considering our history. As they say, history tends to repeat itself. Goddammit.