She instantly fell head-over-heels in love, which was surprising for her. I guess he was the one. It was a whirlwind romance. They were married within a year. Then he was offered a position looking after the company’s overseas branches. It was a huge opportunity for him. Naturally Meg followed her husband.
There’s a huge gap in my life without her in it. We talk on the phone when we can, but it’s not the same as having her living nearby when I need her. Like now. She adores her husband, but hates being shuffled around from one place to the next. As soon as she gets settled, they up and move again. I can hear the sadness in her voice every time we talk on the phone. She has so many of her own dramas going on at the moment, I suppose it wouldn’t be fair to burden her down with mine.
Once we’ve eaten, Mark asks me if I’d like to dance. I almost say no, but when I see the look of expectation in his eyes, I don’t. He’s gone to a lot of effort tonight. The least I can do is go along with it.
He holds me in his arms as we move to a slow song. “Do you know how much I love you?” he whispers in my ear when the song comes to an end. Guilt consumes me again. I’m not sure how much longer I can do this. I tighten my grip around his waist, holding him against me, savouring the feeling of being held by the man who loves me.
When the music stops, Mark releases me. Turning to walk back towards our table, I’m stopped when he reaches for my arm, holding me in place. Facing him again, my heart drops into the pit of my stomach when I realise what he’s about to do. He takes a step backwards, and to my horror, gets down on one knee.
Holy fucking crap! I’m not ready for this.
“No, no, no,” I blurt out in a panic as I try and pull him back to his feet. Noooo. Please don’t ask me to marry you in front of all these people, I want to scream, but before I get a chance, he pulls the ring out of his pocket and holds it out towards me.
“Indiana Montgomery, I love you. Please say you’ll spend the rest of your life with me.” At first I stand there in stunned silence. I feel dreadful. My eyes dart around the restaurant. Everybody has stopped what they’re doing and are now watching this horrible scene unfold. I find myself wishing a big black hole would open up beneath me and swallow me whole.
Even before Carter came back on the scene, I knew I wasn’t ready for this kind of commitment. I’m only twenty-two. There’s so much I want to experience before I even think of settling down. Like traveling the world for one. How can I say no to him in front of all these people? I can’t lie and say yes either. That would be so much worse.
My eyes meet his again as he waits for my answer. I see hope, then desperation cross his face. I feel tears burn my eyes. The pleading look in his eyes makes my heart hurt, but I still can’t bring myself to answer him. Then his expression turns to anger. I continue to stand there in stunned silence.
A few seconds later he rises to his feet. “I can’t believe you’d embarrass me in front of all these people,” he snarls through gritted teeth. How is this my fault? We’ve never even discussed marriage.
“I’m sorry,” is all I manage to get out, in a voice that doesn’t even sound like mine. He doesn’t reply. Instead he turns and storms away, heading towards the exit. I run after him. Words cannot express how terrible I feel.
“Mark. Mark, wait,” I call out as I chase after him.
“Go to hell,” is all he says as he abruptly pushes the restaurant door open and walks out into the night. I continue after him.
“Mark, please. Let’s talk about this.”
“There’s nothing to talk about. We’re through,” he says as he opens the driver’s side door and climbs into the car. I’m stopped in my tracks. Did he really just say we’re through?
“Mark,” I cry as tears rise to my eyes. Ignoring me, he starts the car. What? Is he just going to leave me here all alone? The car inches forward, and I have to step out of the way so he doesn’t run me down. Surly he’s not going to just drive away. He’s just upset. I can understand that. “Please,” I call out as he passes me. “Talk to me.” He slows, inching down his window.
“There’s nothing you can say that’s going to fix this,” he snaps angrily.
“Can we at least talk about it?” I plead. “You’re not even giving me a chance.” Anger sweeps through me. He’s acting like a complete dickhead. “We’ve never even discussed marriage. Hell, I haven’t even told you I love you yet. What possessed you to think I was even ready for this?” He continues to look straight ahead. The gutless prick won’t even make eye contact with me. He exhales a large breath before meeting my steely gaze.
“Because I panicked,” he admits. “I didn’t want to lose you.” Tears rise to my eyes again when the anger on his face is replaced with sadness. I hate that I’ve hurt him, but he’s acting like a tool. This is not the Mark I thought I knew. “You’ve changed since that thug has returned. I’m not stupid, Indiana. I see the way he looks at you … the way you look at him. Deny it all you want, but any fool could see the connection you two have.” I can’t reply because in my heart I know everything he’s saying is true. “That’s what I thought,” he says in a defeated tone when I don’t deny it. “I think it’s for the best if you find another job.” What the hell!
When he winds up his window and drives forward, anger broils inside me. I’m so pissed with him, I’m tempted to kick his stupid, ridiculously expensive car as it passes, but that would only bring me down to his level. He’s carrying on like a spoilt brat.
Wrapping my arms around my torso, I watch him drive towards the exit of the parking lot before pulling into the traffic. He’ll be back. Regardless of what he said, I know deep down he’s a good guy. He’s just hurt. He’d never leave me stranded like this. He’d never walk away from me like Carter did. Never. I wait, and I wait, but he doesn’t return.
Wow. I guess he would.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Carter
Five long days pass before I return. I’ve worked my arse off to get back to Indiana as quick as I could. I can only stay for a few days, but it’s better than nothing. I’m still not sure how this back and forth thing is going to work, but I’m not giving up yet. Truth is, I’d travel to the ends of the earth for her if I had to.
Jax and I changed our usual Friday night card game to last night. We’ve been doing this for years now. I love catching up with him and having a few drinks. It’s our way of unwinding after a busy week. We used to alternate between my place and his, but lately he seems to be coming up my way. He likes it up here. We have the best pubs and nightlife.
He cheats his arse off at cards, but I don’t care. I’m just grateful for the company. After I left mum and Indi behind, he was all I really had. I’m not sure where I would’ve ended up if it weren’t for him.
He knows all about my predicament with Indiana. Only because one night I had too much to drink and blurted it all out. Confessing my love for the girl I left behind. He’d only seen the other side of me before then. The fuck ‘em and chuck ‘em side. He thought I was a legend until he found out I was secretly hung up on a chick from my past.
He gave me shit about it for weeks. One night he went too far and we nearly came to blows over it. It wasn’t mentioned again until last night. I was the one who brought it up. I needed his advice. We discussed opening up another parlour close to where Indi lives, but there’s already five existing tattoo shops within a twenty-kilometre radius. It just isn’t viable at the moment. I’ll work something out, or die trying.
My stomach is in knots as I drive into my old street. I have no idea what to expect. I’ve had no contact with her since I visited her at work five days ago. I pray she’s given what I said some serious thought. I pray that fucker hasn’t proposed to her yet. Fuck. What if he has? What if she said yes? I suddenly feel like I’m going to be sick.