“My water just broke,” she says as cool as a fucking cucumber.
“What?” I practically yell in a panic as I bolt upright.
“My water just broke,” she repeats, like I didn’t hear her the first time. I fucking heard her. My gut starts to churn. I thought I’d prepared myself for this moment. Wrong. I’m not even out of bed yet and I’m already a bundle of nerves.
“I can do this,” I mumble to myself as I try to calm the fuck down. Jumping out of bed I make my way around to her side, extending my hand.
“Stop panicking, Carter,” she says.
“I’m not panicking,” I lie. I’m fucking panicking.
“It’s okay,” she says in a calm voice. How can she remain so composed? Helping her up, she wraps me in her arms. “It’s going to be okay. Take a deep breath,” she says trying to reassure me. It’s not working. I’m a fucking mess. Shit. We’ve practiced this a hundred times. Why was I so cool and calm then? Get your shit together Reynolds. Your wife needs you. I should be supporting her, not the other way around. When she lets go of me and doubles over in pain, I almost lose it.
“Let’s go,” I say leading her towards the door.
“We need to get changed first. We can’t go in our pyjamas.” Shit. She’s right. Okay. I can do this. Who am I kidding? I fist my hair in my hands. “Clothes.”
“Look. Get yourself dressed. I can dress myself,” she says heading towards her drawers and rifling through them. I do the same. I throw a T-shirt over my head and strip out of my pyjama bottoms and slip into a pair of sweats. See, I can do this. I look over at Indiana as she struggles to slide on her pants. Who am I kidding? I can’t do this.
Moving towards her, I help her get dressed. When she doubles over again, I clutch my head in my hands. Running over towards the bedside table, I retrieve my phone. I search Ross’ number. He picks up almost immediately. It’s 4:00am. I guess he knows it’s important. We’ve all been waiting for this day to come.
“It’s time,” is all I say. I don’t even give him a chance to talk. “We need you to come. We’re leaving for the hospital now.”
“I’m on my way,” he replies. Thank fuck for that. I don’t even take into consideration he’s a two-hour drive away. I’m on my own. It’s up to me to get her to the hospital safely. Shit.
Finally we make it down to the car. “My hospital bag,” Indiana says once I have her seated in the passenger side. Fuck me. I had the routine down pat. What the hell is wrong with me? This is the real deal, I guess. I need to pull myself together if I’m going to get either of them to the hospital in one piece.
I run back upstairs and grab it. Throwing it in the back of the car, I get seated. “How are you feeling, babe?” I ask as I turn the keys in the ignition.
“Apart from the contractions, surprisingly okay.” Of course she is. I reach the end of the street and put my left indicator on. “The hospital’s that way,” she says laughing, pointing to the right. I’ve driven this route twenty times in the past few weeks, doing my practice runs and now I can’t even remember which way to go.
Following Indi’s instructions, I turn right. “Are you still alright?” I ask, briefly turning my head in her direction. She has a huge smile on her face.
“I’m faring a lot better than you by the looks of it.” I’m glad she finds this amusing. “Take some deep breaths. Like they taught us in the birthing classes.” I look at her like she’s lost her mind. I remember thinking when we went over the breathing techniques in class, how ridiculous it was. “Just do it,” she says rolling her eyes. “It will help.”
I follow her lead as she starts panting and doing those stupid-arse breaths. I feel like a dick, but I copy her. Within minutes I start feeling myself relax. Surprisingly it does help. Who knew?
••••
Three hours have passed and still no baby. Poor Indi is in so much pain. I’ve been rubbing her back for the past half hour. I wish I could trade places with her. I hate that she has to go through this. Our parents and my grandmother arrived ten minutes ago. They’ve been in to see her, but are now outside in the waiting room with Meg and Jax. I called them to let them know Indi was in labour, and they both came straight here.
We’re waiting for the doctor to come back in to check on her. She wasn’t fully dilated earlier, but I’m hoping by now she is. I want this to be over for her as soon as possible. I want to meet my child. We’ve been waiting a long time for this day to arrive.
I stand when the doctor enters the room. I help Indi roll over onto her back. She’s been crouched on all fours while I’ve been trying my best to relieve her back pain. She clutches her hand in mine while the doctor checks her over.
“It’s time,” he says making eye contact with her. “As soon as your next contraction hits, I’m going to ask you to start pushing.” She nods her head at him before making eye contact with me. She looks exhausted the poor thing, but manages to give me a brief smile.
A few seconds later I see her face screw up in pain. This contraction hits hard as she moans loudly. Up until now she’s been pretty quiet. She’s so fucking amazing. So brave. I’ve heard the lady in the delivery suite next door practically screaming the damn hospital down for the past hour, so I know Indiana is playing this down.
Her grip on my hand tightens as the midwife moves into place next to the doctor. “Push,” he says. My girl does exactly as he asks. Another loud moan escapes her and a lump rises to my throat.
“You’re doing great, babe,” I encourage, wiping the sweat off her brow with the cool cloth the nurse gave me earlier. She’s had no drugs whatsoever. She refused them. I’ll admit I’ve taken a few pulls of the happy gas when she hasn’t been looking. That’s some good shit, that is.
When her next contraction hits, the doctor tells her to push again. This time she screams, and fuck me I almost lose it. “You’re doing great, Indiana,” he says. “I can see the head.” His gaze moves up to me. “Come take a look.” I don’t want to leave Indi’s side, so without letting go of her hand I lean forward and look between her legs.
The baby’s tiny head is turned to the side, giving me a glimpse of the most angelic profile I’ve ever seen. A magical feeling hits me right in the chest. Tears brim my eyes. That’s my child.
“You’re almost there, babe,” I say, moving back beside her and leaning down to kiss her forehead. “I’m so proud of you,” I whisper. She starts to do her breathing exercises when the next contraction comes. When she bears down again, she lets out a loud moaning sound. She’s in fucking agony. It’s so hard to watch her go through this. It tugs at my heart. I wasn’t prepared for this shit. I knew it wasn’t going to be a walk in the park, I’m not that naive, but to see the woman you love with all your heart in so much pain, it’s fucking heartbreaking.
“One more push,” the doctor says. It’s her last one. The baby slips out and into the doctor’s hands. Relief floods through me. It’s finally over. We decided not to find out the sex of the baby. Although every time we went in for an ultrasound, I think we were both tempted, but we held strong. “It’s a boy,” the doctor announces. Leaning down, I press my lips to Indiana’s mouth.
“Thank you,” I whisper against her lips. I have so much to thank her for. She saved me. Saved me from myself. She gave my life meaning. She gave me her, and now a son. A chance to right all the wrongs that were committed against me all those years ago.
Fuck me, I have a son. I’m a dad.
Words cannot describe how incredible I feel right now. After I cut the cord, the doctor places our boy on Indi’s chest. Tears fill my eyes as I look at the perfect picture in front of me. My wife. My son. My whole life. Indiana has tears streaming down her face as she lifts her head slightly and places a kiss on his forehead.
“Hello little man,” she whispers. “I’ve been waiting a long time to meet you.” Raising my hand towards my face, I wipe away my own tears. I thought the day Indi became my wife was the best day of my life, but this moment definitely tops it. I have a family. My son has a father who’s going to love him and be there for him every second of every fucking day. He’ll never experience what I had to as a child. He’ll never know what it feels like not to be wanted.