Anisah watched this whole scene with sadness. She said, “The Imperial has gone into a total decline. How did it happen? When I left, the Imperial was really at its peak. Who could have imagined then that such a fate would overtake it?”
“That’s the trouble with peaks. Those who are on them never even imagine that they could be brought down from such a height! And when the decline starts, it can’t be stopped halfway. The decline doesn’t stop even for a moment, until it reaches its limit.”
“You’ve started talking about the decline of nations. I was talking about the Imperial.”
“Whenever and wherever decline begins, it works in exactly the same way.”
Anisah gave me a meaningful look. “Meanwhile you seem to have become a real intellectual. Come on, let’s not stay here.”
As we got in the ear, I made a suggestion: “The Lorraine will be open now. We can get good tea there.”
“I don’t mind.”
As we sat in the Lorraine she said mischievously, “So I’ve changed since I’ve been in London?”
I again looked her over from head to foot and was delighted. “You’ve absolutely changed.”
“But I see that you’ve stayed right here and changed.”
“How?”
“Such that now you can talk to a girl, and drink tea with her in a hotel late at night.” She paused, then said, “Since I left, haven’t you made some experiments in love?”
“I haven’t, but I want to.”
“Don’t tell lies. Your behavior shows that you’ve made the attempt. If it didn’t succeed, that’s another matter. It’s not so important. The first attempt usually turns out that way. Have another try, success will crown your efforts.”
“I’m not over-age for it?”
“Nonsense. Over there, in matters of love the real period starts after forty. And the man who has white hair at his temples has the girls swarming around him like flies.”
Involuntarily I ran a finger over the hair at my temples. “When will that fashion arrive here?”
“It’s already arrived. Enter the field. Start an affair with some girl soon. Tell me, who will you start with?”
“Why shouldn’t I start with you.”
“With me!” She looked at me with some surprise and then laughed indifferently. “You really have got nerve!”
“Still, what’s the harm?”
“No harm,” she said composedly. “But I’m a difficult girl. You won’t be able to keep up with me.” She thought, then said, “Listen! If you were fixed up with Raziyah, how would that be?”
“I don’t care for her.”
“Then who do you care for?”
“You.”
“I see!” She smiled. “You really are filled with manly courage! That’s a fine thing.”
En route from the Lorraine to her house, I made a further display of manly courage. While driving, I took one hand away from the wheel and put it on her bare arm. She neither praised me for this manly courage, nor did anything to dampen my enthusiasm. My hand slid along her arm and reached her shoulder. Traversing her shoulder, it began to move toward her breast; then she instructed me, “No further.”
“Why?”
“You can’t expect reasons for everything. I’ve told you, and that’s enough.”
“But I want to.” As I spoke, I pulled the car a little off the road and braked to a stop. It was very late at night, and the road was empty from one end to the other. I slid over near Anisah, so near that I could feel with my body the warmth and softness of her hips. I slowly ran my hand over her hair, my fingers came along with her loose curls and slid down to her soft shoulders, from her shoulders to her smooth arms. Then I slowly and gently put my hand on her swelling breast. She lifted her eyes and looked at me seriously. “What did I tell you?”
My hand stayed in place, amidst the warmth and softness. She went on looking at me. She had given an order, and was waiting for it to be carried out. I slowly removed my hand. But we went on staring at each other. I slid nearer to her. My lips moved toward her moist lips.
In a tone of finality she said, “No.”
“Why?”
“I’m a difficult girl. You’re a simple type.”
“I’m not simple any longer.”
“Oh?” She looked at me archly.
“No.”
She suddenly laughed, the way people laugh at the innocent words of a child. “All right, let’s go, it’s very late. I have to get some sleep.”
At her house, as she got out of the car she said, “Come on, I’ll make you some coffee.”
“It’s surely not polite to disturb your family so late at night.”
“No, my room is off by itself. I can make coffee right in my room.”
“But why should you go to all that trouble so late at night? I don’t want to bore you.”
She smiled and said, “All right, good night!”
“Good night,” I said, and started the car.
After I had gone some distance, I hesitated. Why had she detained me? I braked to a stop in the middle of the road, and fell into thought. Then I swiftly started the car, turned around, and headed back at full speed toward her house.
I pulled my car into the driveway. I stopped, and examined the room which Anisah had said was hers, and which was indeed off by itself. And she had also told me that she stayed up till late at night, reading. But her room was submerged in darkness. Not the slightest ray of light showed through any window, any pane. I turned the car around, feeling very downcast, and went back.
•
“Oh!” As I was walking along, I came to a stop. The Imperial lay in utter ruin. The whole structure had collapsed. The dance floor was deeply buried in dirt.
I stood there staring. I had to go on, but my feet wouldn’t move. I turned back instead. As I turned back, my eye fell on the tawny cat. It was dusk, and she was wandering around near the dirt-covered dance floor like a shadow. How dirty and scrawny she looked!
“Mice! Are you back again?” Afzal saw the group together again, and was astonished.
“We didn’t go anywhere,” Salamat and Ajmal said together.
“Salamat!” Afzal addressed himself to Salamat: “That scholarship you were going to get for America, what happened to it? I thought you’d be there by now.”
“America!” Salamat said scornfully. “You know I’m anti-American! They offered me the scholarship, but I rejected it.”
Irfan, watching Salamat, smiled without saying a word.
“Mouse! Why are you laughing?”
“It’s nothing. I won’t say a word.” Irfan brought his smile under control, and assumed a grave expression. Salamat looked at him angrily, but remained silent.
“And you, Ajmal?”
“Me?” Ajmal announced with extreme seriousness, “I couldn’t reconcile myself with the Ayub dictatorship. I quit.”
“Or were thrown out?” Afzal again looked meaningfully at Irfan.
“My lips are sealed,” Irfan said, with a small smile.
Irfan too had begun to be seen again in the Shiraz. After slaving away all day and all night on the newspaper, he had eventually found ways to wrap up his work and escape from the office.
One by one all my friends came back, but the vanished days never came back.
FIVE
The city was now under the spell of a new slogan. The grip of the old slogans had loosened, although the posters promoting them were still up; in the same way all insults, all accusations, were written on the walls. No amount of sun or rain had done them any harm. Still, their mood, their language had gone stale. Looking at the walls, he was surprised at how quickly slogans went stale. A new slogan came like a whirlwind, and spread rapidly over walls, cars, blackboards. “Crush India,” “Crush India,” in every house one subject, in every gathering one topic — war, war, war. One single question followed him around, in and out of the house, everywhere: will there be war?