“Don’t you think that kind of alliance has been tried before?” I asked. “They watch for that shit.”
“Not if they think I’m buried on the side of the mountain. They’ll only look for me for so long before they have to take your word for it”
“You’re crazy.”
“Already established.”
“I mean really crazy,” I countered. “You’re living in some kind of fantasy world.”
He glared at me a moment.
“Look over there,” Evan said. He pointed with his finger out near the top of the ridge. “You see anyone?”
I glanced over for a second then looked back at him with narrowed eyes.
“There’s no one for miles,” I reminded him.
“Yeah, I know,” he said softly, “but I still see him.”
“Who?”
“A kid I killed in Iraq. He follows me everywhere. He’ll go away for a while—sometimes for months—but he always comes back when shit gets real.”
I stared at him for a moment until I realized my mouth was hanging open. I closed it quickly.
“Dude—there’s no one there.”
He shrugged.
“I know. I still see him. I have nightmares about killing him all the time. Not just him, but being in the desert, tied up in a hole for months. Sometimes I can’t stop thinking about it, and when I do, I can’t sleep at all—sometimes for days.”
I could certainly relate to the nightmares. Before I had met Raine, I could only avoid them with alcohol. With her around, I slept better than I had since I was a kid. She drove the nightmares from my head.
The next phrase out of Evan’s mouth would have knocked me to the ground had I been standing.
“When I’m with Lia, I sleep better.”
I looked over to him quickly, trying to figure out if he had somehow used his skills of perception to know what I was thinking, but he seemed completely inside of his own head.
“Fuck,” I muttered. “Seriously?”
“Yeah,” he said. His eyes darkened as he looked at me.
“It’s just…well, Raine helps with my nightmares, too.”
Our gazes locked as we both considered this. I thought it was just me, and from the look on his face, Evan had thought the same thing about himself. Knowing we had such an odd similarity struck me right in the gut. I didn’t know what to make of it.
“I couldn’t deal with it if it wasn’t for her,” Evan said quietly.
“Me either,” I said. “With Raine, I mean.”
“All the more reason I should stay away from Lia,” he said. “She deserves better, but I can’t let her go. I also can’t get out of my debt to Rinaldo. At some point, it will become either her or him, and I can’t choose between them.”
“You are fucked up.” I took in a long breath and thought about it for a minute. Evan was fucked up because of a war and whatever happened to him over there. None of that shit was his fault. What was my excuse? Crappy childhood and a woman running out on me? It all sounded kind of lame to me now.
I was trying, though. I tried to keep myself off the booze even if I had failed. I wanted to be better for Raine, and I wanted to be a good father for Alex. I didn’t have the slightest fucking idea what that entailed, but I fully intended to figure it out.
Evan was different.
He’d been cheating on his girl. All right, maybe not with another woman, but he was doing what she didn’t want him to do with full knowledge that he was going against her wishes. I had the feeling that he would ultimately side with Moretti, if it ever came to that. It wasn’t the same situation as mine. I’d had a momentary lapse of judgment under a stressful situation and taken a drink. He was actively planning his deceptions.
“That doesn’t end my relationship with Franks,” I pointed out. “Maybe that would secure your retirement, but I’d still be in the same situation.”
“I’ll kill Franks,” he said simply.
I stared at him, unblinking, and considered what he was saying.
If I acted on my own, there was always the risk of being caught. If everyone thought Evan was dead, and Franks got knocked off a while later, it would never be traced back to me. As long as he was gone, Franks would lose his hold over me, and the organization would be in a total uproar as they tried to figure out who would be in charge. All my past transgressions would be forgotten.
“So, what do you think? Evan asked.
“Dude, I think you make me sound like a fucking angel,” I said. “When this is over, I’m going to tell Raine how much worse it could be.”
“You can’t tell her that if you don’t get out of this,” he pointed out.
“True.” My mind was spinning. What he was suggesting could actually work. It was fucked up and insane, but it could still work. It meant trusting him, which was probably a mistake, but I was out of options.
“So we should find a way to end it?” he pressed. “We both come out alive, but as far as anyone else is concerned, I’m dead.”
I looked at him carefully. There was no deceit in his eyes. He was being perfectly straightforward with me. He wanted to figure out how to get both of us out of this mess and didn’t give a shit about winning.
That’s how we were different. I had to win.
There was no choice. At least for now, we were going to work together.
Chapter Sixteen
“So what’s your plan?” I asked. My teeth were starting to chatter, which was a really bad sign. Whatever we were going to do, we were going to have to do it quickly. My head was throbbing as well, and I was pretty sure the dizziness and nausea I was feeling were indicative of a concussion.
“Neither of us can move without help,” he said, stating the obvious. “I’m guessing you can’t see what I see.”
“A kid I’ve killed in the past?” I said. “No, I don’t see that.”
Evan shook his head.
“Not him,” he said. “The position of the rock next to your leg.”
I had to crane my neck and tilt my head over as far as I could, but I finally saw a glimpse of what Evan was talking about. To my right, below Evan, there was a channel of snow. The ditch would have been formed by the rocks lining one side of it—the same rocks that pinned my leg to the ground below me.
“I’m pretty sure I can move the rock up against your leg out of the way with my foot,” Evan explained. “Once it’s gone, you should be able to pull yourself out and keep your leg intact. Well, as intact as it is now. It’s broken.”
“Yeah, I can tell that.”
He looked at me closely.
“That’s gotta hurt like a bitch,” he commented.
“It does.”
The corner of his mouth turned up a little as he gave me an appreciative nod.
“It’s gonna hurt worse when I move the rock,” he said. “I don’t have the best angle, and I’ll probably end up crushing your leg more.”
“Great.”
“Beats staying where you are.”
“I can’t argue with that.”
“You ready, then?” he asked.
We looked at each other for a moment before I nodded.
“Do it.”
I held my breath, and Evan began to push down on the rock against my leg. I had to grit my teeth and squeeze my eyes shut as he did it to keep from screaming out loud. I felt it shift a little, and heard the bone crack.
“Fuck!”
“Almost got it,” he said calmly.
“Fucking hurry.”
“That’ll hurt more.”
“I don’t give a shit!” I yelled. “Just fucking do it!”
I heard him take a deep breath and saw him pull his leg up close to his chest. As he thrust his leg forward, I couldn’t hold it in—I screamed as I heard a rock tumble off the edge of the cliff. Reflexively, I yanked up my leg. For the first time, it actually moved.