“So you see now,” Shogo said, “I really have nothing. And it’s payback time against this country for killing Keiko.” Shogo put another cigarette in his mouth and lit it. Smoke drifted by.
“So her name was Keiko,” Shuya finally asked.
“Yeah,” Shogo gave several small nods.”’Kei‘ means ‘joy.‘”
Shuya realized it was same kanji character as the first character to Yoshitoki’s name.
“Were you,” Noriko gently asked, “with her until the very end?”
Shogo smoked silently. After a while he replied, “That’s a hard one to answer.” He continued, “Her last name was Onuki. The roll call started with No. 17 in that game. Whatever. Anyway, Keiko’s number came before mine, so she left three numbers before me.”
Shuya and Noriko listened quietly.
“I thought she might be waiting for me somewhere near the departure point. She just might be. But she wasn’t there. I mean it couldn’t be helped. Just like with this current game. It was dangerous to hang around the departure point.” He took a drag from his cigarette and exhaled. “But I finally found her. The game took place on an island like this one, but I found her.” He took another drag and exhaled. Then he continued, “But she ran away.”
Shuya was shocked. He looked at Shogo. His stubbly face remained calm. It seemed like he was doing his best to restrain his emotions.
“I tried chasing her, but I was attacked by someone else. I managed to kill that person… but I ended up losing sight of her.”
He took another drag and then exhaled.
“Keiko couldn’t trust me.”
He still wore his poker face, but there was a tense look in his eyes.
“But I still looked for her. The next time I found her she was dead.”
Shuya understood. Once he was back here Shuya had told them about Yukie Utsumi’s group and observed, “It’s so hard to… trust someone,” to which Shogo responded by saying, “Yes, it is. It’s very… hard.” Shuya now saw why Shogo looked so uneasy then. He also understood why Shogo said Hiroki might have found Kotohiki dead, or that she might not necessarily trust him.
“You asked me, Shuya,” Shogo said. Shuya looked up. “Why I trusted you guys, when we first met, right?”
“Yeah.” Shuya nodded. “I did.”
“And I believe I said you two made a nice couple,” Shogo said and glanced up at the roof. By the time he lowered his eyes, the tension in his cheeks was gone. “It’s true. That’s how you two looked. So I decided I wanted to help you guys out, unconditionally.”
“Uh huh.” Shuya nodded.
After a while Noriko said, “I bet…” Shuya looked over at Noriko. “She was just terrified… and confused.”
“No.” Shogo shook his head. “I-I really loved Keiko. But there must have something about the way I treated her when we were going out. That’s what I think it came down to.”
“That’s so wrong,” Shuya adamantly insisted.
Shogo looked over at him, his arms folded over his pulled-up knees. The smoke from the cigarette in his hands drifted up gently like silk.
“There was a misunderstanding. A small misunderstanding, I’m sure. Given how fucked up this game is. The odds were against you. That’s what it really came down to, right?”
Shogo grimaced wryly again and only replied, “I don’t know. I’ll never know.” Then he tossed his cigarette into the puddle and took out the bird call from his pocket.
“This…” he said, “Unlike most city kids, Keiko loved to go on mountain walks. The Sunday after the week that fucking game happened she was supposed to take me bird watching.” He raised the bird call between his right thumb and index finger up to his eyes and examined it as if it were a jewel. “She gave this to me.” He smiled and looked at Shuya and Noriko. “This is the only thing I have left of hers. It’s my lucky charm. Didn’t bring much luck, I guess.”
As he put it away, Noriko returned the photo. Shogo put it back in his wallet, which he tucked into his back pocket.
Noriko said, “Hey, Shogo.” Shogo looked up at her. “I don’t know how Keiko felt at the time. But…” She flicked her tongue against her lips to moisten them. “But I think Keiko loved you in her own way. She had to. I mean, she looks so happy in that photo. Don’t you think?”
“Yeah?”
“Of course, she did.” Noriko nodded. “And if I were Keiko, I would want you to live. I wouldn’t want you to die for me.”
Shogo grinned and shook his head. “Well, that’s just a difference in opinion.”
“But,” Noriko insisted, “please take it into consideration. Okay, please?”
Shogo’s lips moved as if he were on the verge of saying something, but then he shrugged and smiled. Sadly.
He checked his watch and went out from under the roof to tweak the bird call.
73
It had stopped raining completely by the sixth time Shogo tweaked the bird call. It was now 5:55 p.m., but the light which now seemed brilliant, compared to the preceding hours, enveloped the island. They removed the thatched roof from the rock wall.
After sitting against the rock wall, the open sky up above, Noriko said, “The sky’s clear.” Shuya and Shogo both nodded.
A soft breeze rustled by.
Shogo put another cigarette in his mouth and lit it.
Staring at Shogo’s profile, Shuya hesitated over whether he should bring it up or not. He decided to speak out. “Shogo.”
The cigarette dangling from one end of his mouth, Shogo looked up.
“What about you? What did you want to be?”
Shogo snickered as he exhaled. “I wanted to be a doctor. Like my old man. I thought at least a doctor could help people, even in this fucked up country.”
Shuya felt relieved. “Then why don’t you become one? You’re certainly talented enough.”
Tapping the ashes off his cigarette, Shogo shook his head, as if to say this discussion was over.
Noriko said, “Shogo.” He looked at Noriko. “I know I’m repeating myself, but I have to say it. If I were Keiko, this is what I’d say.” She looked up at the sky, now tinged with orange, and continued, “Please live. Talk, think, act. And sometimes listen to music…” She stopped, then she continued, “Look at paintings at times to be moved. Laugh a lot, and at times, cry. And if you find a wonderful girl, then you go for her and love her.”
It was poetic. Pure poetry.
And then Shuya thought, Oh. These are Noriko’s words. And words along with music had an incredible, holy power.
Shogo listened without saying a word.
“Because that’s the Shogo that I really loved.” Then she looked over at Shogo. She seemed slightly embarrassed, but added, “That’s what Keiko would have said.”
The ash on Shogo’s cigarette grew longer.
Shuya said, “Come on, Shogo. Aren’t there ways to tear up this country without dying? It might be a roundabout way but still…” He continued, “I mean we got to be such good friends. We’d really miss you. Let’s go to America, the three of us.”
Shogo fell silent. Then realizing his cigarette was burnt down to the filter, he tossed it away. He looked up at them. He was on the verge of saying something.
Shuya thought, come with us, Shogo. We’ll be together. We’re a team.
“Hey—”
It was the all-too-familiar voice of Sakamochi.
Shuya quickly lifted his left arm with his right hand and checked his watch. The muddy display read 6 p.m., exactly, five seconds past the hour.
“Can you hear me? Well, I guess there aren’t too many of you left who can hear. Now then, I will announce the dead. Now in the boy’s group…”