Alicia was so embarrassed and could barely look at Tamara face-to-face.
“I am so sorry,” Tamara finally said. “That woman needs to mind her own business just like you said.”
“Do you know her?” Alicia asked, looking across the room and watching her mingling and talking with two other women as if nothing had happened.
“Just as an acquaintance. But I may as well tell you that the only reason she’s so angry and envious of you is because years ago, she basically ran herself ragged chasing after JT. Sadly, though, all he did was use her and then move on to someone else.”
Alicia sat still, contemplating what she should say next. She was hurt, to say the least, and certainly didn’t want anyone thinking she had any doubts about JT, but right now she needed a friend. She needed to talk to someone, and she had a feeling Tamara could be trusted. “So, have you heard some of the same things about my husband? Because if you have, I really need to know.”
Tamara sighed and then said, “Come on. Let’s step outside the banquet room for a few minutes.”
Alicia got up and grabbed her handbag, and the two of them made their way through various groups of people. More and more attendees were coming inside and taking their seats, but Alicia and Tamara continued on outside of the room, into the main corridor, and down to the very end of the building.
When they arrived, Tamara wasted no time telling what she knew. “First, I just want to say that I am definitely no troublemaker, but because I am a pastor’s wife myself and have witnessed so many other pastors’ wives being treated so terribly, I feel I have an obligation to tell you everything I know.”
“I really appreciate your honesty,” Alicia said, knowing that whatever Tamara was about to say wasn’t going to be good. She knew it without question.
“I’ll just start by saying that while I don’t know a thing in terms of whether JT had something to do with his first wife’s accident, what I do know is that he’s always been known to mess around with lots of women. I won’t say that I have any specific proof, but if you ask any of the pastors’ wives on the South Side and even some in other areas of Chicago, they’ll tell you the same thing.”
Alicia was heartbroken. Her father had basically tried telling her the same thing, but she hadn’t wanted to believe him. Not because she thought her father would lie for no reason, but because she really believed JT was in love with her. She believed that his feelings for her were very real and that he would never be unfaithful to her.
Now, though, she couldn’t help thinking a little differently. She couldn’t simply dismiss what Tamara was saying to her, because Tamara didn’t seem like the kind of woman who would intentionally try to deceive her. Tamara was warm and seemed like the kind of person who cared about everyone, and Alicia’s gut told her that Tamara honestly did mean well. Alicia had only met her a short while ago, but there was something very sincere about her demeanor. Something very genuine.
“I just don’t know what to say.”
“I know. Hearing something like this about the man you love is very painful, and I’m sure even more so because you just got married to him.”
“Maybe he’s not like that anymore.”
“Maybe. And I actually pray he’s not. But at the same time, you need to keep on top of things. You need to know that your husband has a pretty tainted reputation and that this probably won’t be the last time you hear someone talking about it. You won’t hear it as much at your own church because most people who are loyal members of any church are not going to say bad things about their pastor. But when you attend events such as this, people can be very cruel.”
“This is just horrible,” Alicia said, refusing to shed any tears.
“I know. Believe me, I know,” she said as if she literally did understand, maybe from personal experience. “But when you’re talking about some of the pastors around here, it’s more common than not.”
Alicia didn’t respond, so Tamara continued. “The luncheon should be starting in a few minutes, so let’s head back down the hallway.”
Alicia did what Tamara suggested, but they walked in silence. As they got closer to the entrance of the room, however, she saw JT chatting with a group of ministers and winking at her. She smiled dryly and kept going.
She proceeded inside and over to their table and pretended she couldn’t have been happier.
She pretended as hard as she could, even though she was completely beside herself.
Chapter 20
They hadn’t been home more than ten minutes, and already JT was removing his suit and preparing to head back out again. According to him, he needed to go visit some church member whom he had supposedly known for years, which was fine, but what Alicia couldn’t understand was why she couldn’t go with him.
“Baby, I already explained this to you before we left for the luncheon.”
“I realize that, JT, but all you said was that you had to go visit one of your charter members in the hospital, and you never said anything about my not being able to go with you.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t clarify that, and normally it wouldn’t be a problem for you to come, but this particular member asked if I’d come alone because he wants to confide a few things to me. He wants to confess some very serious sins he committed in the past and then go about asking God to forgive him.”
“So, he can’t do that on his own? He can’t do that without you helping him in person?”
JT pulled on a dressy-casual, navy blue round-neck shirt. “I guess not, because when he called me, he sounded pretty bothered about whatever it is he’s done. He also said he wanted me to advise him on how he should begin making amends to the people he’s hurt in the process.”
Alicia didn’t like the sound of this and said, “So, what’s his name?”
JT sighed. “Baby, I just can’t tell you that. I wish I could, but I can’t.”
“Why? Because it’s not like I would ever repeat his name or his situation to anyone. Plus, I thought we agreed that we wouldn’t keep any secrets from each other.”
“We did, and when it comes to our personal business or the church business, I don’t have any, and I will always be up-front with you about everything. But as far as our members go, it just wouldn’t be right to betray their trust. Not when they’ve specifically asked me not to disclose their names or what they’re experiencing.”
Alicia sat on the chaise, watching her husband step into a pair of pants, and thought about her father and all the times he’d told her mother he needed to visit the sick or bereaved. He’d told her these lies on a pretty regular basis, sometimes more than once a week, and Alicia couldn’t help making the comparison between those lies and the one she had a feeling JT was telling. She didn’t want to believe he was literally standing there lying straight to her face, but after hearing all those dreadful things earlier from those women at the luncheon, it was hard not to. It would be difficult believing anything JT said from this day on. Alicia did love him and until this morning couldn’t have been happier with her marriage, but she wasn’t stupid. She wasn’t like some of the first ladies she’d known and heard about, the kind who were willing to take whatever their husbands dished out. No, she was just the opposite and had always sworn she would never tolerate infidelity from any man she was married to-especially if that man was a pastor-because with these particular men, it was never just one random mistake. It never happened with just one woman, and the philandering seemed to go on indefinitely. She’d thought the same thing about her father, and while he had changed for the better and had been faithful to Charlotte for two years now, who was to say he would actually remain that way? She prayed for his sake and for her stepmother’s that he would, but she knew there were no guarantees-she also knew, too, that since JT had already admitted to messing around on Michelle, he might be just as questionable.