“I guess I don’t.”
“Okay, enough about prison and me, though, because what I want is to talk about you.”
“What is it you wanna know?”
“Whether it’s going to be possible for me to see you or not. I mean, I know you’re married, but, Alicia, I can’t help the way I feel. I can’t help the fact that I’m still in love with you, girl.”
“I just can’t, Levi. I can’t come there.”
“I don’t mean here, because this is definitely not an environment for someone like you. Not even as a visitor. I never wanted you to do that, and the only reason I’d had Darrell ask you a few weeks ago was because I was having a really lonely moment. So, when I say I want to see you, I’m referring to when I get out.”
Alicia held the phone in silence, and for a second or two Levi said nothing either. Then he spoke.
“I know you have a husband, but, sweetheart, even if you’re happy with this JT guy, deep down I know you still care about me. I know you have to still love me in at least some sort of way because no man will ever treat you as well as I did.”
“JT gives me everything I want.”
“I’m sure he does. Materially. But are you the most important person in his life next to God? Is he being completely faithful to you? Does he love you so much that he would never even consider being with another woman, let alone actually doing it? I mean, can you honestly answer yes to every one of those questions?”
He’d said a mouthful, and sadly, he was right, because she couldn’t answer yes to any of them and be confident about it. But she wouldn’t admit that to him.
“Levi, I know this might be hard for you to believe, but JT and I really do love each other and we’re very happy.”
“If I recall, you said the same thing right after you married your first husband. Remember?”
“We did love each other.”
“But you weren’t very happy. Maybe in the beginning but not when it came to the kind of money you wanted to spend. It sounds to me like your first husband gave you love and dedication and now this one is giving you a lot of luxury.”
“He gives me a lot more than that.”
“Like what? Sex?”
“You’re being unfair. You’re judging JT, and you don’t even know him, so can we talk about something else?” she asked in a defensive tone, but she knew Levi’s mental assessment was probably right on the mark.
“Look, sweetheart, I’m not trying to upset you, okay? Because I would never do that intentionally. I guess I just got a little carried away because I’m still so in love with you and because when I’m out of here, things are going to be very different for me. I’m completely done with that old life I was living, and for the first time in years, I’ve been reading my Bible every day. I’ve been studying and meditating, and I decided late last year that if God could forgive me for all the horrible mistakes I’ve made and then give me another chance at doing the right thing, then I was going to make good on it.”
“I’m glad you feel that way.”
“I’ve always believed in God, but when you’re locked away like this for months and months, you find yourself talking to Him continuously. You find comfort in knowing that you still have at least Him to depend on.”
Alicia had never heard Levi speak this way before, and she was truly happy for him. Of course, it was common knowledge that many inmates found God while serving lengthy sentences and sort of lost Him along the way once they were released, but she had a feeling Levi was very serious about his new sense of spirituality. Partly because he was the kind of person who only said what he really meant, but mostly because she could hear the realness and the excitement in his voice. They talked about nothing else before hanging up, and now Alicia wished she really could see him.
But she wouldn’t. Not when she was married to JT, and as his wife, she needed to give him the benefit of the doubt. Yes, those women at the luncheon had caused her to be suspicious, but she and JT were still newlyweds. They’d only been married for seven weeks, and it simply wasn’t right for her to jump to so many conclusions. She did wonder if he’d been telling the truth about where he was going this afternoon, but if he’d planned on messing around, would he really do it in broad daylight? It was only five o’clock and the sun still beamed brightly, so she couldn’t imagine him taking that kind of a risk. It was the reason she told herself JT might merely be a victim of lies and vicious rumors. She told herself she was probably worrying for nothing.
Chapter 21
JT lay in bed, his body turned slightly to the side, with Veda’s head resting against his chest. They’d made the most gratifying love to each other, and now she was sleeping peacefully. She slept, and all he could think was how he wished he didn’t have to leave this hotel near O’Hare Airport until sometime tomorrow morning. He knew this clearly wasn’t possible, but after being with Veda on two separate occasions, he also knew there was no way this would be the last time he saw her. He wasn’t sure if it really was because she looked so much like Michelle, but regardless, his attraction to her was fierce. He’d been attracted to Alicia right away, too, but for some reason his attraction to Veda seemed even more immediate. He’d known from the moment they’d finished making love two nights ago at The Ritz that he couldn’t simply forget about her, and it was the reason he’d stopped her from flying home yesterday afternoon. They’d hung up just as she was preparing to walk onto her plane, but then he’d called her right back, asking her not to leave. At first, she’d paused and then told him she really needed to get home, but JT had convinced her to remain in Chicago for at least another couple of days. He’d known he had to go spend time with Carmen shortly after he’d ended his call with Veda and would have to attend the luncheon with Alicia this afternoon, but he’d promised Veda that if she could just be patient, he’d find a way to spend all evening with her now. Needless to say, she’d told him she was fine with it, and JT had been in bed with her for three hours.
Still, he couldn’t understand why his desires for Veda were so deep and why they had so instantly come about-especially since he really did love Alicia. He didn’t know why any of this kept happening to him, why he couldn’t just be happy with one woman. He’d been thinking he could, or at the very least, that he could get rid of Carmen and keep only one mistress, namely Diana. But now he knew otherwise. Now he knew he simply couldn’t help who he was, and if Veda agreed, he was planning to see a lot more of her. There was the problem of her living miles away in Minneapolis, but he strongly believed in the old cliché his aunt used to love saying, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” Which was why all he had to do was map out a more extensive and more detailed plan for his life and ministry.
Next week, he would give Janet the final okay to send out the introduction packages to the churches she’d compiled a listing of, he would bypass setting up a marketing committee the way he’d originally discussed and settled on with Minister Payne and Minister Weaver, and he would hire an ad agency himself so the agency could schedule the media campaign as soon as possible. After that, he would have Diana transfer the hundred thousand dollars he needed into one of his personal bank accounts and convince her to transfer the same amount at least another two or three times. Then, on the personal side of things, he would see Carmen once per week and would do the same with Diana, but once the campaign began, maybe about a month from now, and the speaking offers started coming in, he would slowly but surely cut off all communication with Carmen and would limit his meetings with Diana to maybe once every two weeks. Diana would certainly be upset but wouldn’t make much of a commotion because she would never want her rich husband to find out what she’d been doing. She wouldn’t want him finding out that she’d been having an affair with a much younger man who just so happened to be their trusted pastor. She would never want him finding out that she’d given her young lover loads of their money.