What had come over her, what kind of person was she deep down inside?
She sobbed quietly in his arms for what had to be an hour, and he simply held her, rubbing the top of her head and giving her small kisses on her face. Then he led her slowly around the deck to the ladder, taking her down into the cabin. She realized later that she still wasn’t wearing her shorts, and that the two other men had seen everything .
It doesn’t really matter, though, she told herself that night as she looked in the mirror. Once two men watch you fuck doggy style on a boat deck, a little casual nudity isn’t all that serious in comparison.
Chapter Ten
No one should be enjoying life as much as this, she thought in disgust. There was something vaguely obscene about how pleasant it had been over the past week. Much like her time at the villa, she found herself falling into a sensuous routine on board the boat. The only thing that made it less than perfect was the fact that Skip and Jose were still with them. She and Sean had a much better understanding of how to sail the boat, but Sean still didn’t want to get rid of the two men. She wished he would—they frightened her. She knew they still had a lot to learn, but surely there were better people out there to teach them.
They had gone ashore three times, and each time she and Sean stuck together. At first she’d had some dim idea of escape, but it was pretty clear that wouldn’t happen any time soon. For one thing, she didn’t have any money. For another, she was terrified of Skip. Her earlier fantasies of killing the crew and taking over the boat had been ludicrous. She didn’t want to kill anyone, even if she could.
She knew Sean would be able to find her if she ran, but that didn’t scare her. He wouldn’t hurt her. If Skip found her, though, she’d be finished. He’d gut her without thinking, using that long, wickedly sharp knife he kept in his belt. Where the hell had Valzar found a man like that?
Every time he looked at her, he had a smug, smirking look in his eyes. As if he knew all about her, and wasn’t particularly impressed. She supposed part of it was in her head—after all, it was hard to feel friendly toward a man who’d spied on you during sex. But she wasn’t imagining the entire thing. He watched her closely, and his looks weren’t friendly. She felt sorry for Jose. Skip wasn’t the kind of man she’d wish on anyone, and couldn’t help but think that sharing his bed wasn’t the kindest of fates. Still, the young man didn’t seem to be unhappy. He did all that Skip asked of him cheerfully, and each night they disappeared to their tiny cabin near the engine compartment without comment.
Despite this, though, things were good. Skip wouldn’t be around forever.
She’d made a decision, too. She wasn’t going to leave Sean. She didn’t like everything that he did, but she’d realized something a while back. She wanted to be with him. Regardless of “Stockholm Syndrome,” she knew her feelings for him were real. She hadn’t left anything behind that was so important to her. Living with Sean was good, and she wanted it to continue.
Once she made that decision things got a little easier.
The days blended into each other, and she spent her mornings lazing on the deck, occasionally dipping in for a swim when they weren’t under sail. Much of the time they spent anchored off small islands, many of them almost untouched by the tourist trade. She had always been a strong swimmer, and practicing in the warm Caribbean waters only made her better. So when, on the spur of the moment one evening, he asked her to swim to shore with him, she didn’t think twice. She simply pulled off her sarong revealing the two-piece swimsuit underneath and dove in.
They played as they swam, him catching up to her and ducking her under, and her pulling him down with her. He was stronger, of course, but in the water he was still vulnerable. They raced the last hundred yards to the beach, wading up out of the water laughing and gasping for air. She ran to a coconut tree beyond the water line and tagged it.
“I win!” she called, although touching the tree hadn’t been part of the original race. In response he growled, running toward her with a look of mock menace. She squealed, and ran down the beach. He followed, catching her up in his arms within a few yards and tossing her around as if she weighed nothing.
She clutched his neck, steadying herself, and before long they were both in the sand, laughing and giggling like children.
Sean’s face stilled, and he leaned over and kissed her suddenly. It was a quick kiss, hard and full of intent. Humor faded, and he looked down into her eyes, pinning her beneath him with his body.
“I love you,” he said suddenly. “I don’t know how I was lucky enough to find you, but I love you.”
“Thank you,” she said softly, not quite ready to say the words back to him. “I wish I’d found you earlier.”
“Me too,” he said. “Although you’d have had a hard time visiting me. They didn’t let anyone in to see me most of the time, let alone women.”
She stilled, and a shadow crossed her face. She didn’t like being reminded of his past, of who he was.
She didn’t like thinking of him in Edgar’s office and the pool of blood flowing across the floor.
“Will you tell me why you did it?”
“Did what?” he asked.
“Why you had Edgar killed,” she said softly.
“Are you sure you want to know?”
She thought of saying no for a moment. It was easier to pretend he hadn’t planned a man’s death, easier to imagine this was just some wonderful dream free of context and consequences. But it wasn’t. If she wanted to be with this man and to truly love him, she needed to understand what he had done.
“I want to know,” she said softly. “If you don’t tell me, I won’t ever understand and maybe there’s a part of me that won’t trust you.”
“What if my explanation makes you trust me less?”
“I don’t know,” she said softly, trying to be as honest as possible. “I guess we’ll take that as it comes.
What I do know is that if we aren’t honest with each other, we don’t have a chance.”
He nodded his head slowly, and then rolled off her to lie in the sand next to her. She snuggled into his side as he cradled her with his arm.
“Well, I started out in the Special Forces,” he said slowly. “I did that for several years, and then some friends of mine and I decided to go freelance.”
“Freelance?” she asked, unsure what he meant.
“We started hiring ourselves out to the highest bidder,” he said. “At first we thought we’d be fighting.
You know, fearless mercenaries and all that. And we did do some fighting. But what we mostly ended up doing was training other people how to fight.”
“I see,” she said.
“No, I doubt that you do,” he said with a bitter laugh. “But I’ll keep telling you anyway. I met Valzar around this time, by the way. He and his family go way back, descended from Conquistadores. They’ve owned and sold people for generations, controlling entire countries. They’re always working on some new deal, some new angle. Half the things that happen down here they have a finger in, legitimate and illegitimate.”
“He’s not a very nice man,” she said softly.
“No, he isn’t,” Sean replied with a harsh laugh. “Although he’s a damn good man to have at your back. I hooked up with Valzar because I wanted to get into a new field, hostage rescue, and he had the money. I was tired of teaching peasants how to fight. I knew that whatever I taught them probably wouldn’t save their lives, not as long as the guerrillas and the government refused to even consider peace. It’s always the peasants who get caught in the middle of these wars. With Valzar’s backing, I started contracting with several large insurance companies who offer kidnapping insurance to foreign businessmen.”