Once we placed our order, we called a truce and talked about our day. I listened as Ashlyn divulged secrets of the latest up-and-coming pop star that she had been hired to style, and she listened as I discussed the upcoming cover shoot and special featuring some of the most exciting bands in the US.
“Shit,” Ashlyn suddenly mumbled, her eyes darting toward the door. I shifted in my seat, glancing over my shoulder and almost choked on my soda. Eden casually walked into the restaurant, her chocolate brown hair falling down her back under a cream beanie. Her laughter was the only thing I heard. Her arm was linked with Tori’s as they made their way toward the counter. I was totally engrossed. Her eyes scanned around the restaurant, and the moment our eyes connected, the faintest of smiles filtered over her perfectly pink pout.
“Kellie!” Ashlyn’s excited voice broke my thoughts, and I looked at her like she was the craziest woman to grace the earth. “Over here.”
“What the fuck are you doing?” I hissed between clenched teeth.
Eden moved through the crowded pizzeria toward Ashlyn and me. What the hell was Ashlyn thinking and why the fuck did she continue to call her Kellie? I tried my hardest to avoid looking at her, but I couldn’t stop myself. I was swimming into dangerous territory, but there was no way in hell that I wanted to get out of this current. Eden walked with grace, elegance, and confidence. This girl making her way toward us was so different from the one I left on Friday night. She confused the hell out of me. Her eyes never left me, and I swallowed hard under her gaze. What the fuck was this?
“Hey Ashlyn.” She smiled sweetly at Ashlyn and then turned to me. “Hi.”
“Hey.” My voice was rough. Both Ashlyn and Eden turned to stare at me. Ky Crawford never got nervous under the gaze of women, but now I felt like I was sweating bullets. “I need to go and make a call.”
I slipped out of the booth and moved toward the corner of the room, away from the piercing watch of Eden Rivers, or Kellie, fuck this was confusing. I just wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake her and say, I know you are Eden Rivers and I know you’ll be sitting in my office in a few days’ time. I collapsed into a vacant seat and pulled out my phone. Scrolling through my emails, I went to my draft folder and saw the exact email that had been playing on my mind all day. Opening the draft email, my eyes darted over the words as the battle of want against conscious began. If I sent this email there was no turning back yet if I didn’t send this email then I’d never know who Eden Rivers was.
From: ky@andersonpublications.com
To: edenriversphotography@gmail.com
Time: 20.25pm
Subject: Meeting request
Eden,
This is an email to confirm your attendance on Thursday November 16th at three pm.
Kindest of Regards,
Ky.
“What’s going through that head of yours?” Tori questioned, giving me the worried look that I had witnessed so many times before.
After five days on the East Coast, Tori was heading back home, ultimately leaving me to my own devices. I knew this time was coming quickly, but I didn’t want to believe that it was here. I had become so reliant on her. Tori and I sat on the edge of the pier, our legs dangling over the edge, our shoulders wrapped in a blanket as the cool air swirled around us. Silence fell, and I knew the moment I spoke, my emotions would bubble over.
“I don’t want you to go.” I finally admitted, my voice cracking.
“Babe, you will see me in a little over five weeks. Honestly, I think this will be great for you. This opportunity is freaking amazing, and you’ve been working toward this for years. This is your dream so live it.”
Tori’s head fell to my shoulder, and we sat in silence as we looked out over the white crested waves of the ocean. The chill in the air shocked me to life; it smacked me in the face and made me feel awaken to the world that was revolving around me.
The thought of being away from Tori petrified me. She was like the glue that kept me together, kept me moving forward, and the thought of her not being with me made me fearful that I would dissolve into pits of despair and take two steps back.
Tori sighed softly beside me. “Remember that Josh guy, Ashlyn’s friend? He was hands down the best cock I’ve ever had. I am still feeling him. That is the sign of a good fucking.”
And just like that Tori lightened my mood.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t often wish that could be me—so carefree, so open, and so honest. The thought of being able to open up myself to the idea of having a man who could, as Tori would say, be the best fuck I’d ever have was something that had crossed my mind but I had squashed the thought immediately. To make love was a myth; to be cherished was the complete opposite of what I allowed in my life. Over the past four years there had only been one guy who got close, and that was because I had absolute trust in him. He was my best friend and had slipped into the role of being my pretend boyfriend when we went out. Colby Andrews was my protector, my conscience, and the only guy who I had allowed to touch me. In my despair as I slipped into a state of complete devastation, he had wrapped me in my arms, rocked me until I settled, and then spent the night showing me exactly that I wasn’t completely destroyed.
“Can I tell you something?” I whispered and immediately Tori’s head shot up from my shoulder and looked at me expectantly. “I wish I could let loose. I don’t want to be crippled by fear anymore, and I wish I could stop being scared of the idea of being with a guy.”
“There is someone out there who is going to completely knock you on your ass, and he will be everything you need and more. He will treat you like the princess you are, he will treasure every second he is with you and when he isn’t with you, he will be thinking of you. I know he is out there and when he comes for you, I hope you take the chance.”
••••
Outfit after outfit greeted my body. My suitcase lay open on my hotel bed, with every item of clothing I brought spewing out all over the place. Jeans, skirts, dresses, shirts, and shoes covered every surface and after two hours and numerous FaceTime calls with Tori, I had finally settled on a charcoal pencil skirt, a white blouse, and my signature blood red heels. In an hour I was due at Anderson Publications for my initial meeting with a man I only knew as Ky to discuss my freelance work with them.
I was a walking mass of nerves as I took my first step into the pristine foyer. My eyes darted frantically, desperate for my memories to be swamped by the magnitude of perfection that was on display in front of me. From the marbled floors to the pristine white walls displaying the Andy Warhol art work, I was experiencing what I could only imagine heaven would be like. Tearing my eyes away from an eclectic piece of art showing Central Park in a futuristic setting, I glided toward the reception desk, the sound of my heels clicking on the floor below me grabbing the attention of a very polished-looking young woman.
“Hi, I have a meeting at three pm. My name is Eden Rivers.” I smiled nervously and watched as she lifted the phone to her ear and announced my arrival.
“Mr. Crawford will be down in a few minutes, if you’d like to take a seat.”
Nodding in response, I sunk into the leather tub chair and began nervously bouncing my leg. The enormity of the meeting I was about to attend was suddenly hit me. This magazine was huge, and the fact that they wanted me, Eden Rivers, to shoot not only the cover but also an editorial feature was just too much to comprehend. This was the magazine that Tori and I would read on our lazy Sundays. This was the magazine that always had the most beautiful covers. Shit! I was going to be sick. My stomach rolled within me and the desire to run and never look back fell upon me but something out of my control stopped me.