One month was all I had. A month to make it worth her while, to show her a life she refused to live. I was a stubborn asshole at the best of times and my intentions were clear but I also knew the risks. If I pushed too far there was the potential to shatter and if I got lost in the attraction of Eden Rivers I’d lose my fucking mind, and I couldn’t allow that to happen. This month wasn’t about me, and I had to focus on that. Josh’s words continued to echo through my head as well as Ashlyn’s warning, like a record on repeat making sure I was well aware of what I was doing. But that was the thing, was I doing this for my own sick needs? Did I even have Eden as a consideration?
For the next two hours, an ecstatic Eden pulled me through the park. Her face never dropped and the smile plastered on her face was infectious. I was smiling; a genuine make-my-face-ache kind of smile, one that I had locked away for so many years; one that was brought out by someone who seemed to constantly fight her own private demons. Her smile was fucking incredible, it took over her face and made the blue of her eyes pop and twinkle in delight and unadulterated happiness.
Our hands remained linked together as we made our way all over the park. Occasionally she would halt and take a photo of something that she believed was artistic, but all I saw as I watched her do her thing was a bench, a tree, or a child playing. It was only as she focused on the photo and hid her face behind the camera did we lose the connection of our hands. I felt the loss immediately, and the moment she was done, I was back by her side, and she didn’t flinch once when I grabbed for her hand.
It was almost becoming a test to see how far I could push before she got completely freaked out. My mind still jumped to the fear on her face when I first attempted to kiss her; I never wanted to see that look again yet I was still willing to test the bounds. I craved to have my mouth and body on hers; I was a man for Christ’s sake, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. But there was a huge difference between craving and acting on and I knew I wouldn’t touch her. I couldn’t. I shouldn’t. I promised. But fuck if I didn’t keep thinking about that kiss we shared.
A loud ding sounded around us and she dropped her hand from mine to grab her phone from deep within her bag. I tucked my hands in my pockets, deciding that it was time to stop touching her while I still had an ounce of control. I watched her close. Her eyes narrowed and then an amused smile took over her face. Her eyes lifted from the screen to look at me.
“Why is your brother sending me inappropriate messages?”
I groaned as soon as the words left her mouth. Josh fucking Crawford strikes again. My brother’s ability to weasel his way into my life at the worst possible time was what legends were made of. Yes he was my little brother but he was also my best friend, my confidant, my annoyance, my brutal honesty, and my exasperation. Eden concentrated on her phone and tapped in a response wearing a smile on her face.
“So, what next?” she asked after placing the phone back in her bag and completely ignoring the look I was giving her. She stared back at me and I returned her gaze. Her brow shot up in question. “Ky?”
My eyes narrowed. “Are you honestly not going to tell me what Josh messaged you?”
Eden chuckled in response. “Apparently I am going to a movie with Josh tonight.”
“I’m coming too,” I confirmed before I could stop myself.
“I thought you’d say that.”
••••
The afternoon chill swept through the air and encased the park with winter delight. During the cab ride back to the island, Eden clicked through the photos she’d taken, showing me her favorite shots and talking in photography lingo that I had no clue about so I simply nodded as if I understood. I enjoyed hearing her talk with so much enthusiasm. She was unbelievably talented, yet anytime I told her, she would blush and tear her eyes away from me. It was devastatingly cute.
When we reached the Island, Eden was dropped off at the hotel and I was taken straight to my apartment. The day had panned out better than I expected, but I needed to get my emotions in check before I saw her again tonight. Holding her hand today had been too intimate. That simple touch crossed the line; it made me uneasy and fearful that I was stumbling into an abyss where I would no longer stay in control. Fuck, I had no clue what I was trying to achieve. I needed to create boundaries. I couldn’t fuck up like that again. My mind went crazy trying to come up with something that I could use. I knew she couldn’t say no but then again I needed to know when she was saying yes because she wanted to and not because she thought she had to. This whole idea was fucked up, and it was doing my head in already. Why the fuck couldn’t I have just let it be? Why couldn’t I have just faded into the scenery and simply been the guy from the office? Nope I had to go and do something like ask her to spend the month with me.
Idiot.
The idea of sitting on my couch, having a beer, and watching some of the game for a few hours sounded like the perfect plan. The moment I unlocked my door and entered my apartment, the sound of the television greeted me. What the hell? I dropped my keys on the glass table in the foyer and as I walked into my living room, I found Josh sitting on my couch, beer in hand and feet up on the coffee table.
“My cable is out so I’m using yours,” he stated, gesturing toward the television before looking back at me expectedly. “How’d your date go today?”
I ran my hand through my hair and groaned in frustration. Not even five seconds and he dives right in with questions about Eden.
“First, how the fuck did you get in here, and second, it wasn’t a date.”
“First, you gave me a key and second, you picked her up, it was a date,” he hit back.
I didn’t bother retaliating. I tore toward the kitchen and pulled out a beer, hoping that the cool amber would offer the much needed relief to my highly strung self. I chugged back half a bottle before moving to the living room and collapsing beside Josh who was still looking at me expectantly.
“It wasn’t a date,” I repeated with more determination in my voice. “By the way, I am coming to the movie tonight.”
“Of course you are.” He laughed, and we fell into watching the game without another word spoken about Eden or our so-called date.
••••
I couldn’t remember the last time I stepped foot in Garden City Cinema, yet the moment I hit the foyer I realized it could have easily been yesterday. The interior hadn’t changed at all, the foyer was still decorated with framed posters of classic movies and the life size cardboard cut-outs of the original Rat Pack and Marilyn Monroe stood on proud display beside the candy counter.
I heard Eden’s laughter before I saw her.
My eyes sifted through the mass of over-eager moviegoers until I found her. Eden stood beside Josh, so casually, so lightheartedly as she laughed at something he had said. I basked in the sight. It was a side of Eden that I was quickly realizing was rarely on display, and I couldn’t ignore the feeling of ease that shot through me. I shamelessly took a moment to take her completely in. As if she felt my eyes on her, she scoured through the crowd until our gaze connected. I felt my mouth curve into a smile, and my hand rose in an acknowledging wave.
I crossed the foyer and lifted my chin in greeting at Josh and leaned in to give Ashlyn a kiss on her cheek. I simply smiled at Eden. My ego soared as her eyes embarrassingly darted away from mine. Ashlyn grabbed hold of Eden’s hand and pulled her toward the ticket booth and my eyes followed their every step.
“They are picking the movie. God only knows what we are in for,” Josh huffed beside me.
“Good night for a chick flick?” I laughed in response.
“We should have brought damn beers.” He groaned and ran his hands through his hair.