“I . . . uh, he . . . messaged,” I stammered, realizing what he had just said.
I was about to kiss you.
Shit.
Josh hauled himself from my body, and the feeling of loss was immediate. After years of nothing, he was going to kiss me. I had the potential to feel the softness of his lips again, but of course I sabotaged it. How could I have been stupid enough to bring up Lachlan?
I watched wide eyed and in silence as Josh left the living room without saying a word to me. I pulled my legs up against my chest, rested my head on my knees, and followed his every step with my eyes. He avoided meeting my gaze, and busied himself in the kitchen doing mindless things, like wiping the counter tops, and opening and closing the fridge without removing a thing.
“Are you going to say anything?” I finally broke and stood from the couch.
His eyes, completely void of emotion, finally met mine, and focused on me as I walked toward him.
“It was a simple question, Josh. I don’t know why you’re reacting like this.”
“Why am I reacting like this?” he scoffed and rolled his eyes. “You just don’t get it, do you, Ashlyn. You just don’t fucking get it.”
He used my full name. He never called me Ashlyn. I was always Ashy, and every time he called me Ashy, I felt a bond between us that I would never share with anyone else. It was our thing. I called him Josh, and he called me Ashy. With a shake of his head, he stormed through the living room without giving me another glance and left the apartment, slamming the door behind him.
Three hours later, I was still confused at how abruptly Josh left. To kill time, I called Eden and heard all about her plans for the engagement party, finished some work on the blog, and had an overly-long shower. Now, the only thing left to do was settle in for a night on the couch with my kindle and a pint of cookies and cream ice cream, and wait for him to come back.
Four chapters, half a pint of ice-cream, and getting lost in the story of my latest book boyfriend were shattered by the sound of the door opening. Josh stepped into the living room, and his eyes fell to mine. My eyes ran over his body on instinct, to make sure he was okay.
“Stand up, Ashlyn.” There he goes with my full name again.
I placed my kindle on the couch beside me, while never breaking his stern gaze. “Josh, wh—”
“Stand up.” The tone of his voice told me he didn’t have time for arguments. It would seem that stubborn-ass Josh had returned to the apartment.
With an exaggerated sigh, I stood from the couch and waited. Unpredictability and Josh Crawford walked hand in hand, so whatever he was about to say would be a surprise. He placed his keys on the coffee table and then turned to me, but I took the cue to talk first.
“Where have you been?”
“Why did you ask if I’d spoken to Lachlan?” he asked, completely ignoring my question.
“It was just a question.”
Josh’s jaw tensed, and his gaze shot to the ceiling in a sign that he was pissed off. My breathing stilled, and it was only a matter of time before he called bullshit. Why I ever thought I could hide something from him truly baffled me. The only arguments I ever had with him were in jest. They were resolved within minutes, and neither of us ever left. This one felt so different and it unnerved me.
“Why do you lie for him? What right does that motherfucker have for you to lie for him?”
I sighed in defeat as we continued going around in circles. “Can we please just forget I said anything?”
“I was about to kiss the life out of you, Ashlyn. Ever since you’ve been here I’ve wanted a taste, to feel your lips against mine again, but I’ve held back because I know he messed you up. But there comes a time when I lose my patience and I don’t give a fuck about some asshole that missed his shot. So tell me, why do you lie for him?”
My simmering frustration boiled over and confusion hit me. Josh awaited my answer, while I tried desperately to comprehend everything that was being thrown at me. On one hand, I had Lachlan’s text messages swamping my thoughts, taunting me, and bringing out the girl that I refused to be, and now I had Josh telling me that he wanted to kiss and taste me again. I had to shake the thought of kissing him out of my head and deal with the look of annoyance he was shooting my way. If he wanted the truth so desperately, I’d give it to him on a gold platter.
“He was messaging me today. He mentioned you in one of the messages, so that’s why I asked. I’m not lying for him. Why would I lie for him? The fact that you even said that pisses me off beyond measure. You have been telling me to forget him, and it’s been you encouraging me to move on. I’m trying really hard, so don’t you dare accuse me of lying for him,” I spat, my frustration evident in my voice.
“What did he say to you?” Josh stole the space between us and grabbed my hand.
I focused on his fingers entwined with mine and answered, “It doesn’t matter.”
“Yeah it does, because the moment I saw you I knew something was wrong, and then you tried to bullshit me by saying there was nothing wrong. So yeah, Ashlyn, it does matter.”
“Josh, it doesn’t matter,” I gritted out. “I don’t want him tainting my time spent with you, or causing us to have stupid fights like this, so please, can we just stop talking about him?”
I tugged my hand out of his grasp and fled to the kitchen to escape the intensity of the living room. I felt like I couldn’t win. Lachlan’s messages pushed me to the edge of breaking, but how could I break when I had Josh holding me up? I leaned against the kitchen island and focused on the view the eighth floor provided. Peace flooded me, and I felt the tension in my shoulders dissipate.
I jumped as hands fell onto my waist and the heat of Josh’s body collided with my back. There were no words said, only beautifully-choreographed movements. Josh’s arms threaded around my waist and pulled me tightly against the ridges of his chest. I sighed as the sweet combination of soap and aftershave hit my senses, and my head fell back against him. My body molded into his so perfectly, and the whole scenario of being in his arms didn’t feel out of place at all. It felt like it should be the norm, like my body was built to synchronize with his.
“Your stubbornness is legendary,” he murmured as his hot breath caressed my skin.
I gasped when his teeth suddenly nipped at my neck, and instantly a shot of pleasure cascaded down my spine and landed between my thighs.
“I don’t want to talk about him, so please don’t make me,” I whispered as I got lost under the sensation of his breath on my sensitive skin. My neck involuntarily fell to the side, allowing him better access, and I found myself becoming drunk under his touch. “He is my problem, not yours.”
“And you, Ashlyn, are my priority, which means I will be speaking to him. He doesn’t do this again. I refuse to see the spark in your eyes fade because of that asshole. This is one time that I am going to have to agree to disagree with you.”
There was no way I’d let him approach Lachlan. This was my battle to fight and, whatever it took, I’d make sure I came out the winner. I tried to pry myself out of his arms, but his grip tightened while my annoyance increased. “Let me go, Josh,” I said and struggled.
“Like hell, I’ll let you go. I’ve done that once before, and I’m not doing it again.”
“What the hell are you talking about? Let me g—”
With determined hands, he spun me around to face him and, before I could object, his mouth slammed onto mine. The force of his body colliding with mine pushed me back against the kitchen island, and the sound of crashing cutlery hitting the floor screeched through the air. I attempted to take a desperate breath, and Josh’s tongue took the opportunity to slide into my mouth and claim ownership. The moment our tongues collided, all control was lost. His hands cupped my ass, and I was lifted from my feet. Immediately, my legs wrapped around his hips. My body moved against his, grinding and begging to get closer. All ability to breathe was lost as he stole everything from me. His mouth owned me, claimed me, devoured me, and I couldn’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be.