“Let’s go grab coffee so we can make plans,” Eden said. “I’ll go and grab my things from Ky’s office and meet you downstairs.”
Ky and Eden left, and I closed the door behind them. Ashlyn grabbed her purse and put it over her shoulder, then pulled her sunglasses out and rested them on her head.
“I’m coming over tonight, and I’ll tell you everything you want to know,” I said.
I leaned in to kiss her, but she turned her head suddenly and my lips landed on her cheek. It was a kick to the gut, but it was clear that her defenses were shooting up at a fast fucking rate.
“I’ll see you tonight,” she said softly, and dropped her gaze from mine. The urge to grab her, drag her back into my office, and sort this out right now was almost too hard to fight, but that would make her flee even faster.
In a thick silence, I watched her move slowly to the door. Her hand fell to the handle, and everything seemed to come to a screeching halt as she paused. Stay, please stay. When I looked over her shoulder, her eyes met mine, and I waited with baited breath.
“Right now, I feel like I’m falling,” she whispered.
There was absolutely no hesitation in my response. “Let me catch you, Ashy.”
HOW MANY TIMES DID I have to tell him?
I paced my apartment, fuming at the deluge of messages I’d received from Lachlan throughout the day. I refused to acknowledge them, and the more I ignored him, the more he persisted. But I refused to give in. He was pissing me off now. I wasn’t just frustrated, I was literally ready to find him and put him on a plane myself. Around three P.M., I finally turned my phone off and hid it deep inside my top drawer.
I sat on the couch, curled up with my kindle, and getting lost in perfect fantasy. My newest book boyfriend would distract me from my ridiculous ex-boyfriend. Once again, fictional presented itself as the better option. I was so engrossed in my book that I didn’t hear the front door open until I heard Josh speak.
“Why aren’t you answering your phone?”
Shit! I had gotten so lost in ignoring Lachlan that I didn’t even think of anyone else who might be trying to get in contact with me. Josh was standing just inside the front door, with two bags hanging from each hand. The smell of Thai food filled the air, and my stomach growled in happiness.
“You bought dinner?” I asked softly, stating the obvious.
“Yep, Thai from the new place on the corner. By the sound of your stomach, you haven’t eaten today?” He shot me a wink, and I couldn’t argue.
“You think you’re so smart. There better be Pad Thai in that bag.”
He scoffed. “Would I be a gentleman if I didn’t bring the fair maiden her favorite food? I’m insulted that you would ask that question.”
Josh disappeared into the kitchen and returned with plates, chop sticks, and two bottles of water. I watched him unload the food, and he even piled my plate high with Pad Thai that smelled unbelievable. Gentleman Josh was one of my favorite sides of him.
“So why have you got your phone turned off?” he asked, handing me a plate and chopsticks. “What would happen if I wanted a booty call?”
“And you just lost your gentleman title.” I laughed before taking my first taste of dinner. “And the title is back, because this Pad Thai is incredible.”
“So, how come?” he pushed.
“Lachlan has been texting and trying to call me all day. By three P.M. I got sick of it, so I turned my phone off and put it in my pantie drawer.”
Josh’s jaw ticked, and his eyes flashed in anger. “What was he saying?”
“I don’t really want to talk about it,” I murmured, and swallowed my words by lifting the bottle of water to my lips.
“Ashy, talk to me. It’s just you and me. Don’t keep that shit bottled up. What did fucker of the century say?”
I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. Even when we were talking about the worst subject, Josh made me smile. “He said I deserved what happened. That I caused him to cheat because I didn’t give him enough of me, and then when I didn’t respond he started spitting all this hate at me. Really immature shit, like my boobs are too small, my thighs are too big, and that I am a crap lay. You know, all the things girls love to hear,” I said sarcastically.
“I, for one, can tell you that your boobs are fucking amazing, your legs are phenomenal, and you are the best lay I’ve had. And you know I don’t joke around when it comes to sex. Number one spot, Ashy.” His voice was casual, but his stare was penetrating, and it hit me right in the heart.
“I just want this whole thing done. How can I possibly move on when he won’t leave me alone? He was the one that stuck his cock in another chick, so why is he doing this? It was his choice.”
“You have moved on, Ashy. Look how much you have changed since he fucked up. You have your blog, your apartment looks incredible, and you’ve had some seriously amazing sex with incredible orgasms.” He shot me a wink, and the tension I felt over talking about Lachlan quickly disappeared.
“Yeah, my vibrator has been amazing lately. Battery-operated sex is the best kind. Best orgasms I’ve ever had.”
“I have to compete with book boyfriends and vibrators, Christ,” he said with a groan. “Tonight we eat Pad Thai, watch some ridiculous reality show, and then climb into bed where I’ll be falling asleep inside of you. You’ll be throwing out your vibrator once I’m done.”
“Promises, promises,” I whispered with a tease in my voice, even though the thought sent heat through me. “You better back it up, Crawford.”
“I am a man of my word, Hart.”
After gorging myself with Pad Thai and putting on my comfiest sweats, I sat on the couch, my head resting on his chest, and his arm around my shoulders. The elephant in the room was getting bigger by the minute. We both knew there was a conversation we needed to finish, but neither one initiated it. I didn’t know why I was holding back. While in his office I was so determined to find out everything, but now it was almost like I was afraid of what I might hear. Dinner had been perfect, cuddling on the couch was exactly what I needed, and I was getting lost in a world of fantasy.
This kind of life is what I wanted.
Uncomplicated, exciting, and spontaneous.
I shifted beside him, and looked up to find him engrossed in the travel show we had been watching. He huffed when he realized it was about London, but he soon got over it and made some inappropriate comment about the royal family, and then proceeded to start talking in the worst British accent I’d ever heard.
He looked down at me and smiled. “Hey.”
And just like that, with the sweetest of smiles and a simple word from him, the butterflies appeared. “I like this,” I whispered.
“Me too.” After tucking my hair behind my ear, he leaned down and brushed my lips so softly with his own, in the most sensual of ways.
I liked this a lot.
“Why didn’t we have this year’s ago? I’ve been trying to work out how I’m so different now than I was five years ago. You took my virginity, Josh, so if you had shown me any interest I would have been yours. I would have given you my heart without question.”
He shifted beside me so we were face to face, which allowed me to witness the emotion that my question caused to flash over his face. It was a look of complete shock and confusion. “You think this is new to me?”
“You had five years, Josh. You walked away. You made me feel like a one-night stand, and then suddenly I was friend-zoned. So tell me why. Please let me understand.”
There was no hesitation in my voice. I wanted the truth because I needed to understand in order to move forward with whatever was happening between us. There was so much holding me back from taking the next step . . . so many unanswered questions. I knew Josh wanted more. He didn’t hold back in the way he would possessively hold me, the claim of ownership I felt in his kiss, or his need to make sure I was okay before everything else.