There was no one else like Josh Crawford. Every time I pushed him away, he’d come back. He always opened his arms to me and pulled me against his chest, then played with my hair and found a way to make me laugh and forget everything. He woke me up and made me look at life in color instead of black and white. He was my rainbow on the gloomiest of days, but I had still asked him to leave? Seriously, what the hell was wrong with me?
I poured myself another glass of wine and stumbled toward the bathroom. Hopefully a bath would help pull me out of my pity party for one. After filling the bath with bubbles, I sunk into the hot water and my eyes fluttered shut. Every memory that flashed in my mind included Josh. All I could see and imagine was his soft touch, his intense gaze, his addictive warmth, and more than anything, his beautifully-crafted words of promise and second chances. I was in deep.
The thought alone made me take a big go at my wine.
I needed girl time.
I grabbed my phone, and somehow was able to tap in a message to Eden, asking her to come over. How I didn’t drop it in the bath was anyone’s guess.
As the warmth of the bath started to fade, I heard my front door open and soon Eden’s voice was floating through my apartment. “Ashlyn, where are you?”
“Bathroom,” I replied.
Seconds later, the bathroom door pushed open and Eden appeared. Her eyes shot wide as she took me in. I must have looked like a hot mess, because I was quickly on my way to drunkville, population one.
“Are you okay?” She placed her clutch on the sink, then put down the toilet seat lid and sat.
“I’m drowning my sorrows,” I mumbled and waved around my now-empty wine glass.
Worry flashed across her face. “What happened? Has Lachlan done something?”
I burst out laughing at her assumptions. Lachlan was always doing something. He was like an annoying wart that wouldn’t drop off, always making itself known at the worst possible time. But for once, it had nothing to do with him. I rose from the bath, not even caring that I was buck naked with bubbles barely covering my lady bits. With an unsteady foot, I stepped out onto the tiled floor. Eden stood and wrapped a towel around me, then helped me stand in one spot.
“I need to shower to get the bubbles off. Sit on the toilet. We need girl chats.” I pointed to the toilet and shrugged off the towel, allowing it to fall to the floor.
“How much have you had to drink?” Eden asked as I stepped into the shower quickly to wash off.
When I stepped back out, I roughly dried myself in Eden’s full view before she placed my fluffy gown over my shoulders, tightening it around my waist and making sure the girls and my lady bits were covered.
“Ash, how much have you had to drink?” she asked again.
“Wine.”
She chuckled as she followed me down the hall and into the kitchen. I spotted my empty bottle of wine on the bench. Geez, I thought I had some left.
“How about we have some water?” Eden suggested in a motherly tone. The kitchen counter became my leaning post, and I sighed a little too loudly as she opened the fridge, pulled out two bottles of water, and handed me one. “Now tell me what has brought on this sudden case of drowning your sorrows and exhibitionism. I might hate you a little now that I’ve had a glance of your body. Damn, your boobs are insane.”
“He likes my boobs.” I smirked as memories of Josh fondling and kissing my breasts hit me. “He even told me tonight.”
“Who are you talking about?” Eden asked quickly. She grabbed my hand and dragged me into the living room, and I collapsed onto the couch with a huff.
“I’ve never felt like this. So deep, Eden, so god damn deep. He has gotten right in there. I’m talking about my heart, not my va jay jay, because he already owns her. Tonight he told me everything, and I mean everything, and then I freaked out and said I needed to be on my own. He bought me Pad Thai and we cuddled, but then I sent him away. Yep, just sent him away like an idiot. It’s official. I’m going to end up with cats and a cupboard full of battery operated friends,” I said babbling, but I couldn’t stop myself.
Eden sat beside me, wide eyed and with her mouth hanging open as she watched me completely lose it.
“I need my phone. He will find this funny. I told him I’d either become a lesbian or own cats. Cats it is.” I pushed myself up from the couch and stumbled back into the kitchen in search of my phone. Hot on my heels was Eden, who seemed to refuse to allow me out of her sight. There was no sign of my phone, but I still wanted to call him. “Can I borrow your phone? I don’t know where mine is.”
Eden handed over her phone while casting a worried gaze over me. “Who are you calling?”
“Him.”
I somehow figured out how to tap in Josh’s number, and started pacing as I listened to his phone ringing in my ear.
Hi, you’ve reached Josh. Leave a message and I’ll call back when I’m free.
“It’s me. Ashlyn. Calling on Eden’s phone. I’m going to buy some cats, probably two or three because they need friends. You were really warm tonight, and you bought me Pad Thai, and now I’m a little drunk on wine, but Eden is making me drink water. Do you like cats?”
After ending the call, I handed the phone back to Eden and left the kitchen. My couch looked overly inviting and, by the time Eden joined me, I had wrapped myself in a blanket and felt myself falling deeper into a wine haze.
“Why did you just call Josh?” Eden asked softly, her eyes full of wonderment.
“How did you know?” I gasped. Was she a mind reader?
Her soft chuckle calmed me somewhat. “Seriously, how much wine have you had? His contact details were on the screen when you handed it back.”
“Oh.”
“Ashlyn, why did you just call Josh?”
Suddenly, it was like my body turned from drunk to sober. Opening up to someone about Josh was something I had wanted from day one, and here Eden was, giving me that option.
She grabbed my hand and gave it a friendly squeeze. “Whatever you say stays with us. Yes I am with Ky, and yes he is my world, but you are my best friend. Sisters before misters.”
I giggled at her use of sisters before misters.
“I think I’m falling in love with him,” I whispered, and the weight of the world seemed to lift from my shoulders. Saying it out loud made it feel even more real. “He called me his girl. I’ve never been anyone’s girl before.”
“Holy shit.” Eden looked at me with wide eyes, and I knew that this was the last thing she expected to hear. “We need wine for this. This isn’t a water conversation.”
After rushing to the kitchen and grabbing another bottle of wine, she sat back beside me and poured two glasses. I lifted mine to my lips, and she looked at me over her glass.
“From the beginning, Ash. Tell me it all.”
I took a massive gulp of my wine and went back to the beginning. I told her about first noticing Josh in the cafeteria at college and getting lost in the fact that he was the hottest guy on campus. I told her about our night at Rubies and how he took my virginity, then I told her about waking up and thinking that I wanted it to be more than just one night. She sat in silence, letting me talk about our history and allowing me to get lost in the amazing memories I had of him.
“So, when did this start again? I am assuming that you are with each other?”
“It was Josh I went to when I got back from Australia. I didn’t realize it at the time, but he was the one that I chose to help me heal. I could have called anyone—you, Ky, Austin . . . but I chose Josh. It was then that something switched on between us. He protects me. Eden, he comforts and encourages me. It was Josh who suggested the name Ashlyn’s Closet. When I moved in with him, we danced around temptation before we collided. Every time he touches me, I feel like I’m floating, and every time he looks at me, I feel like the most beautiful girl in the world.”