“Let’s go.” Ky grabbed my hand and we headed to the desk. The lady looked up at us, and she must have been hired for her calming smile alone. The effect she had on me was instant.
“We are Josh Crawford’s family,” Ky said through a thick voice.
“I will call the doctor right away.”
What did that mean? Did they always call the doctor right away? I squeezed Ky’s hand and his gaze fell to me. He offered me a smile, but his eyes told another story. He had seen the blood, he had seen Josh not moving, and he had seen the car. It hit me like a freight train. Suddenly, I felt like I was going to be sick. This was premeditated, this was with intent, this was . . .
“Lachlan,” I whispered. How could someone who once said he cared about me do something so severe? “It was Lachlan.”
“What did you say?” Ky pulled me toward the waiting room and I moved in a daze. “Ashlyn, what the fuck did you just say?”
I pulled my phone from my bag and went to my text messages. Lachlan’s message was still taunting me on the screen, and I handed it to Ky. He cursed under his breath, and I watched his knuckles turn white with the grip he had on my phone.
“That motherfucking asshole,” Ky spat, then quickly stood from the seat and began to pace. Eden rushed to her fiancé’s side and began speaking quietly with him, soothingly calming him down. Ky pulled his own phone from his back pocket, and I knew he’d be calling the police.
“I am looking for the family of Joshua Crawford.”
My head snapped around. I shot up from my seat and moved toward a man dressed in scrubs.
“Is he okay?” I asked
“He is in surgery for a serious abdominal wound. He has lost a lot of blood, and there is some internal bleeding we are trying to get under control. He took a hard fall, and there is some swelling on the brain. Our concerns are the head trauma and internal bleeding. We are trying our best, miss, and I will ensure that you are kept informed.”
Hours turned into days, tiredness turned into mind-altering exhaustion, and food became non-existent. I was surviving on the hope that I would see his eyes soon. A constant stream of people came to visit, but all I saw was him. I was head over heels, entirely, and unconditionally in love with Josh Crawford, but there was a possibility that he would never know. He had become my beginning, my end, and everything in between, and I refused to believe that he would never know that.
He looked like he was sleeping, and if it wasn’t for the machines and constant stream of nurses I would think he was. The chair in the corner became my resting place. I looked and felt disgusting, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t risk not being here when he woke up. He would wake up, and if I began to believe otherwise, I would be destroyed. I needed to be strong for him.
“Ash, you need to get some sleep and have a shower,” Ky begged for what was probably the hundredth time.
Through tired eyes, I looked at him and saw a similar level of exhaustion plastered on his face. He had been staying with me during the day and into the night, but he went back to his old apartment to sleep, whereas I refused to leave. “I’ll come and stay with you. You won’t be alone,” he said, pushing further.
I shook my head. “I can’t leave him. I need to be here when he wakes up.”
His eyes landed on the bed where Josh lay, and I witnessed defeat wash over his face. “Ash, we don—”
“No, Ky. I am not giving up on him. He will wake up, and I will be with him when he does.”
The door slowly crept open, and I assumed it would be yet another nurse coming to check whatever the hell they checked. My eyes shot wide and my legs turned to jelly as my gaze fell on my brother and his best friend, who both held worry on their faces. Ever since the accident, Austin would call me and talk to me through the night. I had no clue how long we spoke, but he never said anything about it. Other nights Ben would do the same thing. My bottom lip started to tremble, and I knew I was moments away from emotional collapse.
“Come here, Ducky,” Austin said in the softest of tones, and his eyes showed me every ounce of love I needed. I crossed the room and fell into his embrace, and fresh tears spilled down my cheeks. I didn’t know how long I stood in my brother’s arms, but it was exactly what I needed. When I finally pulled away, Ky and Ben were in quiet conversation, and I knew they would be talking about my reluctance to leave.
Just as I felt myself shaking my head in dismissal, Ben crossed the room to me, and his large hands cupped my face. I looked up into his shockingly-blue eyes, and knew that I was about to get the Ben Hunt treatment.
“I’m not leaving,” I whispered. “I can’t.”
He wiped away my tears with his thumbs. “Sweetheart, you need to come with me and Dash,” he said, using the horrendous nickname my brother had got from his love of fucking and dashing. “We are going to get some food in you. You need to shower and sleep, and we will bring you back first thing tomorrow.”
“But what if he . . .”
“It’s going to take a while for him to wake, sweetheart. He’s had serious trauma. His body is repairing itself. Even when he shows signs of waking, you will have at least an hour to get here. The nurse’s station has all of our numbers. You aren’t going to miss it, and he won’t wake without you here.”
I turned to look at Ky, and I knew I had to do this. He looked on the brink of collapse, and he needed this as much as me. His eyes begged and pleaded with me to listen to what Ben was saying. Then I turned my attention to Josh. He hadn’t moved once. He hadn’t opened his eyes, and when I held his hand I never received one squeeze. It was like he was just a body, but everything I needed had floated away. I needed to be strong for him, though. It was my time to fight and comfort him.
“Someone needs to stay here. I will not leave Josh alone,” I stated firmly.
A flash of hope flickered through Ky’s eyes, and a knowing grin covered Ben’s face.
“Ducky, I’ll stay. I can spend the night telling him embarrassing stories of you when you were younger. He also needs to receive the big brother talk, so this will be the perfect time to inform him that I’ll rip his balls off if he hurts my little sister.”
For the first time in days, I laughed softly.
“Don’t be too hard on him. And remember, there will come a day when I get to share your stories with your great love,” I said with a smirk.
“Seriously . . . my great love? Those books you read have turned you into mush,” he said and rolled his eyes. “I didn’t get my nickname for no reason.”
“Your nickname is disgusting.”
“Just because a man likes to fuck doesn’t make him disgusting.”
“No, it doesn’t, but being called Dash because of it disturbs me.”
“Will you two stop fuckin’ arguing? I am starving, and I need to take Ashlyn home,” Ben stated, instantly ceasing my conversation with Austin. “So, come on sweetheart, get your shit, because we are heading out.”
“Just give me a minute with Josh, okay?” I asked, and looked to the bed.
“I’ll meet you outside. Ky, do you need a lift?”
Ben and Ky left the room, and Austin took a seat in the visitor’s chair that had been my bed for the past five or six days. God, I was losing track of time.
I gently sat on the edge of the bed beside Josh’s hip and linked my fingers with his. After kissing each of his knuckles, I rested our joined hands on my lap and allowed my eyes to roam over his angelic face.
“Joshy, I’m going to your apartment to have a little sleep because I have Ky, Austin, and Ben ganging up on me, but I will be back as soon as I can. I love you so much, and I need you to wake up soon. We have a future to start living. I need you here.” I leaned over and kissed his lips lightly. Every touch was now so delicate, like he would shatter if I pressed too hard. My strong, determined, cocky man was now like fragile glass.
“Come back to me, Josh.”