For the past two nights, I stayed at Josh’s place. The need to feel close to him resulted in me sleeping in his bed and wearing his T-shirts whenever I could. I was literally surrounding myself with the comfort of his scent. With Austin and Ben by my side, I had reluctantly been leaving the hospital at midnight, only to return by seven in the morning, and I would resume my vigil by his bedside, waiting for him to wake up.
Three A.M. rolled around, and I pushed back the covers and climbed out of his bed. Sleep would yet again evade me, and there was no point waiting for it to arrive. I pulled on a pair of sweatpants, opened his bedroom, and headed to the kitchen.
I knew I was exhausted, because watching the coffee percolate was holding my attention. Mind numbing distraction was all that I wanted these days, because it saved me focusing on the reality I was living. A reality I chose not to believe.
“Can’t sleep, sweetheart?”
I jumped at the low rumblings of Ben’s voice, and turned to face him. Ben Hunt was Austin’s partner and best friend, and he had been in my life since I was ten years old. I wasn’t afraid to admit that I had the biggest crush on him growing up. He was like one of those guys that I would read about in my favorite books. He was all man. He had the voice, the hair, the body, and the charisma—the alphaness, as I liked to call it. He had a sense of danger about him and an I-don’t-give-a-fuck attitude, and I knew that was what got the ladies in his bed. Now that I had the high school and . . . okay, I’ll admit it, the college crush out of the way, he was like a second big brother, and he treated me like his little sister. Now as he looked at me, I saw that he had the big brother cap on and concern flashed in front of me.
“I need to be with him.”
Ben walked into the kitchen and hurled himself up on the counter. His eyes burned into me, and suddenly I felt nervous under his watchful gaze. I didn’t know what else to do, so I quickly made him a coffee, handed it to him, and received a smirk.
“He is going to wake up soon, and he is going to need his woman rested and healthy. He is going to count on you for so much, sweetheart. Do you understand that? You need to take care of you as well as taking care of him.” His deep voice rumbled in the stillness of the apartment.
“Do you really think he’ll wake up soon?” I whispered in broken words as a deep sob rose from my chest.
Within seconds, he jumped from the counter, and I was pulled into his wall of a chest.
“Why wouldn’t he wake up? He has one of the best girls I know waiting for him. He is a lucky son of a bitch. He wouldn’t choose to leave that.”
Romance novels had definitely ruined me, because I started feeling myself tear up, and it was because I was swooning at his words.
“Why are you single?” I asked through a sob.
“Fuck, here we go,” he murmured, and his grip on me loosened.
I stepped away and looked at him. “It’s a serious question. I haven’t seen you with anyone since—” I stopped myself from saying her name because his face darkened, and I knew I’d hit a raw nerve. “All I’m saying is that I want you to be happy too, and you and your alphaness will make someone super happy.”
“My alphaness?” He laughed with a shake of his head.
“Ladies dig it.”
“I think a lack of sleep and not eating, has finally fucked with your head. Me and my alphaness are quite happy with what we are doing.”
“I am looking forward to the day when I get a call from you asking me for girl advice. I’ll try my hardest not to remind you of this particular time.”
We both knew exactly what I was doing. I was distracting us from the reason we were standing in the kitchen at 3 A.M. drinking coffee. As silence fell between us, my thoughts immediately went back to Josh lying in a hospital bed on his own.
“Sweetheart, look at me.”
My eyes lifted from the floor to meet Ben’s.
“Josh is going to be fine, and you two can start living your lives as you should. That motherfucker Lachlan has jail time to look forward to. Then he’ll be sent back to Australia, and will never be allowed back in the United States. That part of your life is over forever.”
Barely four hours later, I walked back into the hospital with Austin close by my side. Ben had gone back to bed, and I ended up sitting on the couch watching early morning infomercials until Austin finally woke at six A.M. and I got ready for another day spent with Josh.
“Where is Josh Crawford?” I asked anxiously. Having just walked into Josh’s room to find an empty bed shot panic through me, and the worst case scenario hit. What had happened? Why wasn’t I called? “Lady, please. Where the fuck is Josh Crawford?” I started to hyperventilate, and I couldn’t grab a breath. I knew I shouldn’t have left him. I left, and then something happened. What kind of girlfriend was I? Oh my god, had he woken when I wasn’t there? Had he stopped hearing my voice and given up. I was going to be sick. I needed to breathe.
She looked at me with wide eyes before looking at Austin who had stepped up beside me and grabbed my hand.
“Miss, where is the man that was in room 1A?” Austin asked in a calmer tone. “We were here last night, and we were not informed he was being moved? As you can see, his girlfriend is very upset with this treatment. If you could please find out, that would be greatly appreciated.”
“Um . . . yes sir, I’ll do that now,” she stammered and rushed out of her seat.
“Ducky, stay with me. There will be an answer as to what’s happening.”
I grabbed hold of Austin for dear life, then buried my face into his chest and waited. What was only a few minutes felt like hours.
“Here she comes.”
I pulled myself together and saw the lady that had been behind the desk walking our way with a doctor by her side. I linked my fingers with Austin’s and took off toward them, desperate to hear what they had to say sooner rather than later.
“Miss Hart, I apologize profusely. I informed the nurse that was on to call you, but it would seem she has not done that. Last night, Mr. Crawford was moved into a recovery room under doctor’s orders, and is in the process of being brought back from the induced coma. His vitals signs are improving rapidly. Now it’s just the waiting game until he wakes up. We are monitoring him closely, but all signs are great. Keep talking to him, keep showing him that you are there. Every little bit counts. He is in Room 5B, down the hall, first door on the right.”
“Thank you,” I whispered, not quite believing what she had said. He was going to wake up? He was coming back to me? I rushed down the hall practically in a sprint, desperate to see it with my own eyes. I halted just inside the door and immediately burst into tears. Josh was lying in bed, and it looked like he was sleeping peacefully. The majority of the machines were gone, and there was only one faint continuous beeping noise.
“I’ll head into town and get some coffee, then pick up Hunt. The cafeteria coffee is fucking shit. Be back soon, Ducky. Text me if you need anything.” Austin kissed my cheek before disappearing, and it was just me and Josh in the room.
Suddenly, the enormity of what was happening hit me, and all I craved was Josh’s warmth. I placed my bag on the guest chair, then stood beside the bed. With the gentlest of touches, I traced his features, sweeping over his brow, his cheekbone, and finally his lips. Light stubble sprinkled over his jaw, and the craziness of his hair caused my throat to get thick with emotion.
Gently, I climbed up onto the bed beside him and curved my body against his side. I placed my hand over his heart, because the need to feel his heartbeat overcame me. Feeling it over the past week had been the only thing that provided me with comfort. If I could feel that, I knew he was still with me.
“I need you to wake up, Josh. I miss your laugh. I miss your smile. I miss your kiss, and most of all, I miss the look you only seem to give me. Everything reminds me of you. I’ve been sleeping at your apartment, and I’ve decided I’m moving in. I’m going to ask Austin and Ben to help me move some of my things over. Too much time has passed for us, and I don’t want to lose another moment. I have so much to share with you, so I need you to wake up.”