I shook my head, grinning like a complete fool. “That was pretty bad.”
He chuckled as he reached over, flipping the station to a blues channel. “I thought it was smooth.”
My mouth opened to ask why he was trying to be smooth, but luckily I stopped myself. That question would probably end up making me look like an idiot by the time it was answered.
Forcing my gaze to the window, I clasped my hands in my lap. “So . . . how are your classes going?”
I cringed at how lame the question sounded, but Jase didn’t appear to notice. “They’re going good. As long as I can get into the rest of my classes next semester, I’ll be graduating in the spring.”
“That’s great.” I smiled broadly, maybe a little too widely. I had no idea what Jase planned to do once he graduated, but I doubted he was going to stay around here. It shouldn’t even be a concern of mine. “Where are you going once you graduate?”
Jase shifted in the driver’s seat, keeping one hand on the steering wheel and the other resting on his leg. “Well, with a degree in environmental studies, I really could go anywhere, but I’ll stay here or commute into D.C. if I can get on with the Department of Interior or WVU. You know they’ve got an agricultural research center outside of Kearneysville.”
“You’re not leaving?” My question came fast.
“I can’t,” he said, and added quickly, “I mean, I like it here.”
I didn’t miss the sudden tensing of his shoulders. Nibbling my lower lip, I peeked at him again. “You can’t?”
He didn’t say anything as he reached forward, turning the station back to country music. Someone started singing about a tear in their beer, but I was hardly paying attention. What could he have meant by him not being able to leave? Nothing was holding him here. He seriously could go anywhere, especially if he did get in with the Department of Interior.
Running a hand through his messy mop of hair, he glanced over at me. “What about you?”
“Me?” He was so trying to change the subject.
“Yeah. You. Are you going to stay around here?” The derision in his voice caused me to stiffen. “Teaching?”
Indignation rose at his tone. “What is that supposed to mean?”
He laughed, but for some reason, it sounded dry and harsh. “Come on, Tess, teaching a bunch of elementary-school kids? Seriously?”
Twisting toward him, I crossed my arms. “Okay. I don’t get it. You acted like teaching was a good idea and I—”
“It is a good idea, but it’s not . . .”
“What?” I demanded, getting all kinds of defensive. “It’s not what?”
“You.” He glanced at me as he turned right onto Queen Street. “It’s not you.”
I stared at him and then barked out a laugh. “That’s dumb. How do you know what’s me and what’s not?” Anger flared in me, and I didn’t dare look too closely at why. “You barely know me, Jase.”
“I know you.”
I scoffed. “No, you don’t.”
That infuriating half grin appeared. “Oh, Tess . . .”
“Don’t ‘oh, Tess’ me. I want to know why you’re so convinced that I’d make a horrible teacher.”
“I didn’t say you’d make a horrible teacher.” Amusement danced over his face, and I wanted to know what the hell was so funny. “You’d make a great teacher. Kids would probably love you and maybe you’ll be happy with that, but that’s not what you want.”
“In fact, I like being around kids. Back at the studio, I volunteered to help out with the younger classes.” Staring out the window, I watched the shopping centers and apartments quickly give way to trees and then open fields. “So whatever.”
“Okay. You’re not getting what I’m saying.”
“Obviously not,” I replied tartly.
He sighed. “You’d make a great teacher, Tess, but you’re a . . . you’re a performer. That’s what you’ve always wanted.”
I squeezed my eyes tight, as if doing so somehow blocked out the truth. “That’s not what I’ve always wanted to do.”
“No?”
“No.”
“I don’t believe you,” he said. “And here’s why. You’ve been dancing since you could walk. You’re just here until you can start dancing again, right? The whole teaching shit is a backup plan just in case you can’t dance. It’s not what you really want to do. You already admitted that to me.”
My mouth opened and I planned on telling him he was wrong, but dear Lord that was not what came tumbling out of my mouth. “A year ago I didn’t think I’d be sitting here, enrolled in college. It hadn’t even crossed my mind. And you’re right. When Dr. Morgan tells me next month that I’m okay to start dancing in three months or whatever, that’s what I will do, because that’s what I loved to do. What’s so wrong with that? I won’t be here, where it feels like I don’t understand anything.”
Jase was quiet for a few moments. “Nothing is wrong with that.”
Feeling like I stripped bare and did a naked jig for no reason, I threw my hands up in frustration. “Then what’s the point of this conversation?”
He smiled and shrugged one shoulder. “I don’t know. You started it.”
“I did not!”
Jase retorted, “Yes, you did. You asked me what I was planning on doing. I was just returning the favor.”
I rolled my eyes. “I want to hit you.”
He chuckled.
“Even more now.” I shot him a look.
Slowing the Jeep down to turn onto a narrow road that looked vaguely familiar, he tilted his head to the side. A beat of silence passed. “Well, if you do end up being around here and deciding to stick with teaching, you’ll be wonderful at it. And if not, then that’s good, too. I know how much dancing means to you.”
I didn’t know what to say about that, but then I realized where we were. Sitting up straight, I peered at the sign dangling from the chain. “We’re at the farm?”
“Yep.”
Sudden nervousness hummed through my veins. “Why?”
“It’s just something I thought about.” He winked, and I bit back a groan as my stomach flopped in response. “You’ll see.”
I turned wide eyes forward as we traveled up the bumpy, uneven road. Beyond the cornstalks and the field where the cows grazed, I saw what I figured Jase was thinking about.
A fissure of fear ran down my spine as I remembered our conversation about dancing and riding horses. “Oh no . . .”
Jase chuckled as he parked the Jeep in front of the barn. “You don’t even know what you’re saying no to.”
Pulse picking up, I rubbed my sweaty palms over my jeans and swallowed hard. The last thing I wanted was to die a horrific death in front of the boy I harbored major feels for. “Jase, I don’t know about this. Horses are big and I’ve never been on one. I’m probably going to fa—”
He placed the blunt tip of his finger on my lips. Surprise jolted through me. “Stop,” he said softly, his deep gray eyes locking on mine. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Okay? You’ve just got to trust me. And you trust me, right?”
Before I could respond, he moved his hand, smoothing the finger along my bottom lip. I shivered as his hand drifted over my chin and then disappeared.
“Tess?”
Drawing in a short breath, I nodded, but I’d probably agree to play inside a wood chipper if he touched my lips again. “I trust you.”
“Good.” There was a flash of a quick smile and then he was out of the Jeep.
I tracked him with my eyes, feeling a little dizzy. It was the truth. I did trust him and that was a big deal for me. I really hadn’t trusted any guy since Jeremy, anyone except my brother.
But I had trusted Jase from the moment I had met him.
Seven
I wasn’t going to die today. At least that’s what I kept telling myself as I climbed out into the sticky heat. Summer didn’t want to loosen its hold on this area at all.