“And not only that, but when Bri told me he was marrying Rivka, I said, ‘Yeah. Great. And you may want to send your support check before you leave on your honeymoon.’ ”
“I’m sure you did.”
“Then why would any of them be concerned?”
“I think they’re under some delusion that you care.”
“I care about my kid. I didn’t eat her at birth or anything. Care about you. My parents. Josie, of course. Tolerate my brothers.”
Jai nodded. “I agree with all of that.”
Turning back to the mirror, Cella said, “My God, my family’s so insane. It’s no big deal. After the wedding this will all blow over.”
“Well ...”
Cella again faced her friend. “Well, what?”
Jai bit her lip again before announcing, “They’re talking matchmaker.”
Cella stumbled back against the sink. “No!”
Jai raised her hands. “Now don’t panic.”
“Don’t panic? Are you insane?” Cella bet this was her Aunt Deirdre’s idea. Her mother always said that Deirdre could convince most Malones that John F. Kennedy was a Protestant. And while Kathleen ran the New York Malone females, it was Deirdre who was the equivalent of her enforcer. Only she was way meaner than Cella could ever dream of being on the ice.
Jai reached over and patted Cella’s hand. “Don’t worry. Your father says it’s not necessary—”
“Well, at least he’s being reasonable.”
“—because you already have a boyfriend.”
“Boyfriend? What boy ...” Cella gasped. “Oh, no.”
“Do you know who he’s talking about?”
“God. The bear. The polar bear from Friday night.” She’d told Jai about what had happened with the bear on their drive home from the game. “Christ, I thought Dad knew he wasn’t my boyfriend.”
“Apparently he doesn’t know that. And it sounds as if he likes the guy. ‘He’s a fine, slightly tongue-tied boy,’ according to him. Which is perfect because maybe you can use the bear to get your aunts off your back for a little while.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Your mom told my mom that if you’ve got a boyfriend already, your aunts will back off the matchmaker thing. The problem is Deirdre’s convinced them you don’t have a boyfriend. That Butch was mistaken.”
“But he was! I was kidding when I said he was my boyfriend.”
“Your father seemed to have missed that.”
“How could he miss that?”
“It doesn’t matter. But maybe if you use your Malone charm, you can get the guy to help out.”
“Help out with what?”
“Pretend to be your boyfriend for a couple of days. Give him tickets to the next game or something. I’m sure he’d help for that since you say he’s a fan.”
Cella wasn’t so sure. “You don’t understand. That bear barely tolerated me and he thinks I’m a bad mother.”
“Why does he think ... ?” Jai rolled her eyes. “Did you do that thing again? Where you pretend Meghan can barely tie her shoes, but you’ve left her alone to fend for herself?”
Cella shrugged. “You had to be there. It was funny at the time.”
“Funny or not, you’ve got a problem. You could probably get one of the other players to have your back or someone from KZS to pretend to be your boyfriend, but your father already met the bear. Although, I’m surprised he’s okay with a bear. I thought the Malones would be all, ‘he must be tiger.’ ”
“Only if I hadn’t already had the kid. My aunts are happy because I’ve been a good little Malone female and given them a girl to carry on family tradition. Which only leaves me wide open for anything the aunts may dredge up. But I’m betting this is Deirdre. She’s trying to start a fight with me.”
“She always starts fights with you.”
“Yeah, but ...”
“Yeah, but what?”
Cella let a breath out, her neck getting tight. “But I promised Meghan I wouldn’t fight with Deirdre until after the wedding.”
Jai let out a loud laugh until she realized Cella wasn’t joining her. Then she stopped. “Oh ... you’re serious.”
“It’s a long story involving sleep-punching, tampons, and an early-morning drive to the pharmacy. I don’t want to get into it.”
“I don’t think I want you to get into it.”
“That old bitch. I bet she knows. I bet she knows I promised Meg I wouldn’t fight with her.”
“Now you’re being paranoid.”
“I’m not. She knows I’ll never agree to a matchmaker, which will set off a whole chain of events and then she can make me look bad in front of my kid.”
Instead of debating that, Jai asked, “So what are you going to do?”
“I’ll just talk to the family. Calmly. Rationally. I’ll make it clear these old-school rituals no longer apply in modern society. I’ll make it clear how ridiculous this all is.”
“You mean you’re going to act like an adult?”
“Yes. I’m a thirty-six-year-old adult and I can act like one.”
Determined, Cella finished drying off and changed into a pair of sweats, black T-shirt, and sneakers. With Jai by her side, she returned to the kitchen. And again as she walked in, her family stopped whatever conversation they were having and stared at her.
“Where’s the kid?” Cella asked.
“At the mall with Josie, using the gift cards she got for her birthday.”
Perfect, but before Cella could continue, Aunt Kathleen asked, “Do you remember your cousin Pete? Lives in Atlantic City?”
“Cousin?” Jai softly asked.
“Fourth cousin, twice removed,” Cella elaborated. “Yeah, I remember him. Why?”
“I still say—” Barb began, but Kathleen held up a finger, silencing Cella’s mother. Much to Barb’s annoyance.
“Stay out of this, Barbara Feeney.”
“It’s Malone now, even though you keep forgetting that.”
And this was why Cella was convinced her mother deeply loved her dad. Because being a strong-willed female and marrying into this family? It better be love.
“He’s got an RV dealership,” Aunt Maureen explained around Barb and Kathleen’s bickering. “Maybe we could all go down and visit him. Wouldn’t that be nice?”
Cella and Jai glanced at each other, and Cella asked, “Go down there?”
“Sure. We can play the slots, maybe a little blackjack, and you can spend some time with Pete and the rest of the family.”
“Aren’t most of the AC Malones under federal indictment?” Butch asked, looking more annoyed by the conversation as every second passed.
“The feds don’t have nothin’,” Deirdre snipped, glowering at her brother.
“And do you really see Pete leaving his business and moving here?” Barb asked.
“A good girl would move there.”
“If being a good girl’s an actual requirement, doesn’t that rule out all the Malone females?” Barb shot back.
“I don’t see what the problem is,” Deirdre said. “She’s always wanted to leave. Being that she’s too good for the family. So here’s her chance.”
“Do you really think I’d leave my kid?” Cella asked.
“You left her the first time,” Deirdre tossed back. “And the second. And I think there was a third.”
“Bitch!” Cella roared. She and Deirdre went for each other at the same time, her father and the aunts holding Deirdre back while Jai shoved Cella with her entire body toward the door.
“We’ll be back,” Jai called out over the yelling. She grabbed a set of keys for one of the family SUVs and continued to push Cella out the door and into the backyard.
“You should let me kick her ass for that last shot!”
“You promised,” Jai reminded her before catching hold of Cella’s arm and dragging her toward the car. “Besides, you cannot beat up an old woman.”