My mind spun frantically trying to process what she was talking about. And then it hit me. “Did she have dark hair?”
“Yes.”
“Oh Christ,” I moaned. When I swung my legs out of the bed, Mia bolted up from the chair. I held my hand up. “Wait, I can explain.”
“Like you did the last time?”
“Once again, you’ve completely missed the mark. Her name is Andrea, and she isn’t my fiancée. She’s Jake’s step-sister—you met their shared sister, Allison, at the farm, remember? She’s marrying a suit from the label who Jake introduced her to. They’d all come down from New York for the Jersey show. I’ve known her since I was twelve—she’s like a sister to me, so yeah, I was all hugged up to her because I was happy.”
Mia paled as her hand came to cover her mouth. “Oh God…” she murmured.
I drew in a deep breath, trying to steady my fucking Merry-Go-Round emotions. “Look, I know men have fucked you over in the past so badly that you like to react first and ask questions later. That’s understandable. But you can’t pull that shit anymore. It’s not just about me or you. There’s a kid—my kid—to think about.”
Tears welled in her eyes before streaming down her cheeks. “I know. But when I thought you were engaged, all I could think of was how if I showed up, I’d ruin your life.” Staring down at her hands, she whispered, “I didn’t want to be like my mother.”
Even though I should’ve been mad as hell at her, I couldn’t help reaching over to cup her face in my hands, pulling her head up to look at me. “I never would have thought you tried to trap me, Mia. And regardless of what your mother did, your dad could never think you ruined his life.”
“I know.”
Dee appeared in the doorway. “Looks like you came around.”
“Yeah, my head hurts like hell.”
“So does my back.” He eyed me before snorting. “You’re one heavy motherfucker.”
I laughed. “Sorry man.”
“Look, since AJ seems to be all right now, I think you two need to get out of here.”
Mia shook her head. “But I have my patients,” she protested.
“I’ll cover for you.”
“Dee, I can’t let you do that.”
He held up a hand to silence her. “This isn’t up for negation, Mimi. You’ve put this shit off for too long. In case you missed the memo, you two have a lot to talk about, so get your asses out of here. Now.”
Mia scowled at Dee as she headed for the doorway. I trailed behind her. In silence, we walked down the hall to the elevators. “Even though Dee’s covering my patients, I don’t want to go far. Is the hospital cafeteria okay?”
I nodded. “Sure.”
The elevator dinged, and we walked in. We were the only ones on board. “So, um, have you felt okay?”
Mia made a face. “I got pretty sick around the two month mark. I’d say it was morning sickness, but since I was sick morning, afternoon and night, it was a little more than that. I had to get on an insulin pump full of vitamins to regulate me.”
Great, I’d not only knocked her up, but she’d had a hard time with the pregnancy. All alone. Shifting on my feet, I stuffed my hands in my jean pockets. “Yeah, my sister, Cris, had a really horrible time with nausea and shit. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
“It’s okay. I’m feeling much better now.”
“You look good,” I said.
“Thanks. The nausea made it hard for me to keep food down, so I haven’t gained a lot of weight.”
“Mia, don’t do that.”
“Do what?” she asked, as we stepped off the elevator.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about.” As we walked into the noisy cafeteria, my hand came to rest at the small of her back. “You’re beautiful no matter what size you are, so get it out of your head that being pregnant and gaining weight is going to make you unattractive or undesirable to anyone…especially me.”
She stared at me for a moment, unblinking and unmoving. Finally, she murmured, “Thank you, AJ.”
Grabbing my wallet out of my back pocket, I motioned to the cafeteria line. “You want something?”
“I can get it,” she argued.
I rolled my eyes. “Just tell me what you fucking want, Mia.”
Instead of answering me, she gave her order to the food service worker. “A grilled chicken salad with honey mustard and a Mountain Dew.”
“Mountain Dew? Are you insane? You aren’t supposed to have caffeine,” I countered.
Mia turned to glare at me, but then her brows rose in surprise instead. I guess she didn’t think I would be one to have a lot of baby knowledge. I’d picked up a lot of my knowledge from my sister and Lily. “My doctor says I can have one a day. Trust me, since I’ve cut out my morning coffee, you want me to have a little dose, or I’ll cut someone.”
I laughed. “I can totally see you doing that.”
She grinned as we edged down the line. I ordered some pie and a coffee. I followed behind her with our tray as she picked out a table far away from everyone else. Once we sat down, we fell into a silence as we ate. After what seemed like a small eternity of scraping silverware and chewing, Mia glanced worriedly at me across the table. “AJ, there’s something else you need to know.”
“Jesus, Mia, after telling me you’re pregnant, how could there be anything more shocking?”
“I-I’ve been talking to Dev again.”
I slammed my cup of coffee down on the table, sending steaming hot liquid sloshing over the edge. “You have got to be fucking kidding me.”
She jerked her head slightly. “He came to see me the night after I got in from Jersey City.”
“Are you sleeping with him?” I demanded.
“I don’t think it’s any of your business.”
“The hell it’s not. You’re carrying my child.”
Mia’s dark eyes blazed. “Oh, are you ready to tell me about every chick you’ve banged in the four months we’ve been apart.”
Hunkering over the table, I spat, “You wanna a great big surprise? Well, here it is. I haven’t been with anyone since you.”
After blinking a few times, she stared at me in shock. “It’s been four months.”
I snorted. “Trust me, cariño. My dick knows exactly how long it’s been.”
Ducking her head, Mia refused to look at me. Instead, she pushed some of the salad on her plate. “The answer is no.”
“Excuse me?”
“No, I’m not sleeping with Dev.”
Relief flooded me at her revelation. “Are you dating him? I mean, what’s the fucking deal?”
Mia remained silent as she chewed a piece of grilled chicken. “No, I’m not dating him. He wants a second chance. Somehow he’s convinced he can work for my affection.”
“Oh yeah? And just how hard is he working?”
She pinned me with a stare. “Pretty diligently.”
“He doesn’t care that you’re carrying my kid?”
“Dev always loved and wanted children even more than I did. He says…” Mia’s gaze dropped to her lap. “He says he’d be willing to raise him or her as his own.”
“Over my dead fucking body,” I growled.
Mia glanced up to narrow her eyes at me. “Have you really thought about this, AJ? I mean, have you really stopped to think about what a baby means for you? You actually want to be in this for the long haul? Midnight feedings, diaper duty, teething?”
Crossing my arms over my chest, I said, “It’s my kid. There’s no question I want—no I will—be in its life.”
“This can’t be all part of some machismo act of staking claim on what’s yours.”
“Don’t insult the level of my love and feelings for this child—this flesh of my flesh.” I drew in a deep breath before adding, “Or my feelings for you.”