But now this tiny little plum-sized baby is my number-one priority. Now I realize that I can’t allow my body to be harmed. I need to get out of here and find a safer home for the two of us.
As I pack my bags, I have a fleeting thought of seeing Jace one more time. I wish I could see those sea-blue eyes for just a second longer. In a way, if this baby had been Jaxon’s, at least I could pretend it was part of Jace as well.
But it’s not.
Mr. Howard stole that from me.
When he told me that I wouldn’t pass if I didn’t attend his after-school study session, I was confused. I thought I was doing well in his class. When I showed up and I was the only student present, that should have been my first warning. But I was naïve, so I followed him into his storage room to grab the supplies we supposedly needed. I’ll never forget the echo the metal lock made when he slid it into place.
I chase away the bad memories by shoving more clothes into my backpack. One good thing about never really owning much is that I don’t have a lot to carry out of here. I’m hoping that today at work I can talk to Nico about helping me find some place to stay.
“Don’t worry, little plum, I’ll find somewhere safe for us,” I whisper.
I quickly stash my loaded backpack underneath the couch and pull on my t-shirt for work. It’s getting a bit snug and I’m sure people at work have noticed. I’m still in that awkward stage where others are probably wondering if I’m pregnant or just sneaking in a few too many of our famous breadsticks. Well, they’ll all know soon enough.
I grab my purse and step out onto our front porch. My heart lurches when I see my dad coming up the stairs with a death stare focused directly on me.
His eyes flash to my stomach and back to my face, and then return to my stomach for one final perusal. I see the wheels turning and I pray I can just get to work without incident.
“What have you gone and done?” he growls in a low, threatening voice.
“Nothing. I need to get to work,” I quickly say, stepping backward.
“You’re just like your whore of a mother...”
I try to interrupt and tell him I am nothing like her, but he launches forward. His foot rises up and connects with my stomach. I feel the air rush past me, but I’m confused about what exactly is happening. When I feel the hard smack of concrete on my back and the coppery taste of blood in my mouth, my friend, darkness, returns.
Julie wipes away a fleeing tear. She sits in silence for what feels like an eternity. Maybe she’s giving me a chance to accept my words, but I’ve already done that. I can’t let my father hold this over my head anymore.
“Audrey, it was never right for you to be there,” she interrupts my thoughts. “I wish I would have known.” I wave off her concern. There isn’t anything that can be done now; we’ve all made our mistakes.
“I woke up in the hospital two days later, no longer pregnant.”
“Did you stay?”
I shake my head and say, “I haven’t seen my dad since. The boss I worked for let me sleep in the restaurant at night. The day I graduated, I hitchhiked out to California. Although before I left, I did go back and take our dog, Chuck.”
“Hitchhiked!? Audrey, please tell me I just heard you wrong.”
I laugh, thinking about all of the people I met on that trip. “I never told Jace that part.”
“Don’t you ever do that again, young lady,” she scolds while hugging me. “Give Jace time.”
“I feel like I’ve been giving people time my whole life.”
“You know, Jace and Jaxon may be identical but they are nothing alike. Jaxon has always been my child that charges through life. He never thought about the consequences until he was grounded for two months for sinking his dad’s boat to the bottom of the lake, amongst other crimes. Jace, on the other hand, is my thinker. He tries to reason through every scenario before he acts on it. He worries about what others think and he hates to make people upset. This type of situation, an unexpected one, throws him off. These moments don’t show him in his best light. I know that doesn’t excuse his behavior, but just give him some time.”
I stand up to brush off my jeans and she follows. “I have to be at work in about ten minutes.” The moment is awkward and I don’t know what else to say.
Without warning, she hugs me tightly and whispers into my ear. “I know you don’t want to hear apologies, but just know I wish I could go back and change the way things went down. You didn’t deserve anything that was thrown at you, but you are strong and you’ve overcome it all on your own. Be proud of that.”
With a nod, I walk out to the parking lot toward Lane’s SUV. I’ve never actually thought about being proud of myself. I’ve always condemned myself for putting up with my dad’s abuse and my mom’s neglect. I should have done this or I could have done that. At the end of the day, isn’t Julie right though? I came out stronger, so I should be proud.
Work flies by, thankfully. We had a full house all night. There was a game on that all of the customers were intensely watching, although I have no idea which game or even which sport. I moved around in a daze. Tonight, Em should have technically been on shift with me, so while the extra pair of hands would have been helpful, being busy kept my mind occupied.
Now I’m walking down the hallway toward Jace’s apartment door at three in the morning, hoping my textbook is still lying next to his bed. I want to get in and out as quickly as possible. I don’t want to see that giant, comfortable bed, his pictures on the wall, or even that darn pantry.
I called Quinn from work earlier, asking her if she could keep their door unlocked since I would be coming by so late. I turn the knob and enter into the darkened living room. The familiar scent that I once found so comforting is unwelcome. I’ve been able to keep the sadness away but being here is difficult.
I tiptoe down the hallway quietly and open Jace’s door. Fortunately, even in the darkness I can make out my book lying next to his nightstand on the floor, right where I left it. Unfortunately, Jace is lying in his bed as well. He must have come in and passed out quickly. He’s lying on top of his covers, still fully clothed. He has one hand sprawled out above his head and one draped across his chest.
I didn’t even think to look for his car out front. Em told me that he’s been sleeping in a chair in Jax’s room. It’s too dark to see his face, but he must be exhausted if he hasn’t slept in a bed in over a week.
I reach down, grab my book, and turn for his door when a hand grabs me and tugs me down without missing a beat. I gasp at the sudden, unexpected movement. I still can’t see his eyes in the darkness, but I can feel his lips move against mine. For a few seconds, I allow myself this.
The amazing part is touching him, feeling his body close to mine. I run my hands through his hair while his skim slowly up my back. Our lips meet hungrily, as if it has been another four years since they have touched and not a little over a week. He pulls me in tighter and almost desperate.
The painful part is that this feels like a goodbye. A simple parting gift. My heart breaks a little at the idea of saying goodbye to him. I knew this would come though. Jace and I are from two different worlds. I have my penny and my memories, and those should keep me company for at least a little while longer.
I shove away from him before the moment becomes even more agonizing and I clamber out the door. When I escape into the hallway, I lean up against the wall. I will him to come out here and find me. I want him to tell me that he’s not letting me go or that he just needs time until Jaxon wakes up. All of this I would understand, but I need him to tell me. I can’t stand his silence and I can’t assume what he’s thinking, especially when it feels as if his lips just gave me a farewell kiss.