“Braden is Bubba!” I heard Kate excitedly tell Mr. Parker, whose face had this unease and complete confusion on it. He looked straight to where her finger was pointing and took a second to glance at Braden, but his eyes didn’t linger. They quickly found mine, and though I had wondered how seeing each other again would go, never did I imagine the immense anger and even hatred I saw in his eyes.
The heat of his glare made me shrink back but only for a moment. I grabbed a hold of Braden’s hand and began to search the crowd for Officer Charlie. It was time to get things moving along so Kate, Braden, and I could get some rest.
I found him at the opposite end of the hall, talking to a man who wore a dark business suit and a scowl on his face. Another officer was trying to ease Charlie away from the conversation, but he wasn’t having any of it.
“Charlie Doyle, right?” The man in the suit eyed him and Officer Charlie nodded his head in frustration. “Doyle, I’m sorry, but this incident has crossed border lines. It’s not your case anymore. I’m sure you’ve done a fine job, but I’ll need all of the files and any evidence you have,” the disgruntled-looking gentleman requested.
“Oh, now you want to do your job? After I hand-deliver it all solved on your desk? You didn’t give two shits when I tried to get the FBI involved. Now you fuckers want to step in? Fuck off, Agent Johnson,” Officer Charlie bit back.
I quickly jumped to cover Braden’s ears, but the look on his face told me that I shouldn’t even bother. He had heard it all. Officer Charlie spotted us standing behind him and he blanched at my glare.
“Shit!” he exclaimed. Then, realizing he had just cussed in front of a four-year-old again, he smacked himself in the mouth, creating a loud pop.
“Please, Officer, quit while you’re ahead,” I dryly told him.
“I’m sorry, Raegan,” he apologized sheepishly. I was just glad he was finally calling me by my first name and not ‘ma’am’ anymore. I was younger than him, for God’s sake. I watched as he squatted down to speak directly to Braden. “Hey sport, forgive me. I shouldn’t have said any of those words. I really don’t want your mama to kill me so do me a huge favor and don’t repeat them, okay?” Braden nodded his head with a small smirk at the corner of his mouth, but that was all he would be giving. “A man of few words. I like you, kid.”
When he stood back up, I couldn’t hold in the giant yawn that stretched across my entire face. It was less than attractive. “Officer Charlie, please. We’re all tired. It’s way too late for us to still be sitting around. We need to sleep.”
“I know, I’m sorry. This assho—” he started before quickly catching himself. “This man right here is trying to distract me from getting hotel accommodations. Excuse me while I ignore him and take care of you guys.” The gentleman behind him rolled his eyes and then followed Officer Charlie into a nearby room.
Braden tugged on my shirt and I looked down to meet his sweet gaze.
“Mama, I have to go potty.” Before he could complete his sentence, he began bouncing in an erratic manner. Boys! Why do they insist on waiting until the very last moment?
I shoved through the crowd with Braden holding my hand and found the ladies’ restroom at the end of the dark corridor. I directed him into a stall and then leaned over the counter so I could look closely in the mirror. I didn’t know how I’d forgotten about the surgical tape that stretched from my forehead down my temple and stopped just before my right ear.
It was the source of so much incredible pain for so long, but it was worth it. I’d endure it again and again to know I’d be here... instead of there. I wasn’t sure where we would be tomorrow, let alone a month from now, but at least we could finally have a life. Braden and Kate could go to school, meet friends, and live a life children should be allowed to live.
Thoughts of Kate brought a feeling of melancholy, and I just wanted to scoop her up and hide her away from everyone. My eyes were unfocused in the mirror as I stared at my blurry image. My thoughts were a million miles away, but I slowly faded back in. I soon realized Braden had been in there for a while. He was still new at using a stall so I knew he hadn’t locked it. Slowly, I pushed the metal door open and peered inside.
“Braden, sweetie...” I found him sitting fully clothed on top of the closed toilet lid, and his thoughts seemed to be a million miles away as well. My sweet introvert. He had been a worrier for as long as I could remember. “Did you use the potty, yet?” He nodded his head and I crouched down in front of him. “What’s going on, bub?”
“Will we ever see Kate?” he asked softly. My heart lurched and I scrambled to find the right words that could bring him even an ounce of comfort.
“Of course we’ll see her. They won’t be able to keep us away from her. Don’t you think Kate would be very sad if she didn’t see us?”
“I think she would cry.”
“I agree, and no one wants her to cry, right?” Hesitantly, he shook his head. “Look, I’m not going to lie. Things will be different. Kate has her family again, but now they’ll have to realize we’re her family too. I’ll do everything in my power to make sure we still get to see her as much as possible.” And I would. If we had to follow the Parkers to the ends of the earth just so we could be in her life, we would. She and Braden were both my children. I would never be able to say that out loud, but in my heart it was true.
“Okay, let’s put that worry away and go find her. It’s time the three of us get in a nice comfy bed and sleep until next week!”
“Mama, we can’t sleep that long. Our bellies would be so hungry!” He giggled and I melted.
“Oh darn. I am really tired though, so maybe you guys could sleep in just a little bit tomorrow.” I winked at him.
“I’m tired. Kate’s tired too,” he stated confidently.
Braden hopped up on the sink so he could wash his hands. I looked in the mirror and ran my finger across my bandage one more time. When it grazed over a particularly sensitive area, I stopped and pressed a little harder. I pressed hard enough that it made me wince and I relished the feeling. The pain meant I wasn’t dreaming…that I wasn’t going to wake up soon and still be in that room. Still trapped.
I pressed harder and tears welled up in my eyes from the stinging, but I couldn’t seem to stop. I needed to know we were really here. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Braden watching me in the mirror and I immediately dropped my hand. With a smile, I reassured him that everything was okay and he gave me a tentative grin in return. This kid was too wise for his years.
We held hands and pushed the creaky white door open that would lead us back to our girl. The crowd of people was still a bit overwhelming, and for the hundredth time today I wondered why the hell everyone was assembling in the hallway. And didn’t these people have other jobs to do or families to go home to? I felt like a zoo animal being closely observed, and I’d had enough of that over these last four years.
I looked down at Braden, who was trying to peer between everyone’s legs. I heard words like FBI, kidnapping, Mexico, and hospitals being flung around, and I just wanted to shout for everyone to shut up—we were right here! At least have the decency to talk about us behind closed doors.
“Braden, sweetheart, do you see Kate or Mr. Parker anywhere?” He shook his head back and forth and I began to push through people, becoming a little panicky. I wasn’t comfortable with the three of us being separated. I tried to allow Mr. Parker his time alone with her, but now I didn’t like that I couldn’t see her.