The rehearsal was unremarkable except for that show of emotion. Ann’s part was small and completed early-she would be walked in after the other guests were seated, escorted by Ryan.
Fine.
“Dearly beloved,” followed by the readings. Jenna’s brother Kevin read the lyrics to “Here, There and Everywhere,” by the Beatles. And Jenna’s sister-in-law, Beanie, read the Edna St. Vincent Millay poem “Love Is Not All”:
I might be driven to sell your love for peace,
Or trade the memory of this night for food.
It may well be. I do not think I would.
Ann closed her eyes. Jenna and Stuart said their vows, then Jenna’s childhood minister would give a short homily, although tonight, thankfully, they were spared. He was Episcopalian. It would have been nice if Jenna had been Catholic, but Ann couldn’t complain. Episcopalians were close, and most of the girls whom Stuart had dated before had been Southern Baptists, including She Who Shall Not Be Named. Then there was a moment of silence to remember Jenna’s mother, Beth Carmichael, during which Ann bowed her head and reminded herself to be grateful that she was whole, present, and healthy to see her son get married. Then the kiss. Then “I now pronounce you man and wife.” Then the wedding planner hit the button on his funny old tape recorder, the strains of Mendelssohn played, and everyone filed out of the church in the reverse order, only this time Ann was escorted out by Jim.
It may well be. I do not think I would.
At the bar at the yacht club, Ann ordered a double vodka martini.
Jim looked at her sideways. “You?” he said. “Vodka?”
“Let me know the second you see her,” Ann said. “And please, don’t leave my side.”
Jim cupped Ann’s face with his big, strong hands and kissed her on the lips, a real kiss, the kind of kiss that, all these years later, could still make her weak with desire, especially since he tasted like his first sip of bourbon. During the four years of their separation and divorce, Ann had dated seven men and slept with two, but none of those men had made her dizzy with lust the way Jim did. Even now, in public, under such stressful circumstances, she felt a hot pulse. It wasn’t fair.
“Nice party,” Jim said.
Ann could do nothing but agree. The Nantucket Yacht Club was the kind of place that thrived on understatement and quiet privilege. The sloops on buoys, the grass tennis courts, the spectacular location on the harbor, the shabby genteel furnishings, the trophy cases displaying the same dozen Mayflower names.
Cocktails were being served on the patio. The college-age servers (all attending colleges like Mount Holyoke and Williams, all with names like Lindsley and Talbot) passed trays of bacon-wrapped scallops and phyllo filled with melted Brie and apricot preserves. They had ripped the recipes for this occasion right out of the official WASP cookbook.
It was exactly as Ann had imagined it.
In the ballroom, round tables were set with navy and white linens and napkins folded to look like sailing ships. Dinner was to be a traditional clambake-lobsters and potatoes and corn-served buffet style. Guests could sit wherever they pleased. Ann would have preferred assigned seating, with Helen Oppenheimer placed on the opposite side of the ballroom, preferably in the corridor outside the ladies’ room. As it was, Ann had made her first priority-after acquiring her vodka martini and downing three healthy sips-rounding up Olivia and her husband Robert and the Cohens and the Shelbys and making sure that they were all planning to sit at the table with Ann and Jim.
“Absolutely,” Olivia said. “I would never abandon you. Is the bitch here yet?”
“Not that I can see,” Ann said. Olivia was the only person who knew about Helen; the Cohens and Shelbys had become close friends of Ann and Jim’s the second time around. Jim’s sister Maisy was here with her husband, Sam. Ann and Maisy had never hit it off-quite frankly, Ann couldn’t stand the woman. She lived in Boone, North Carolina, and wore prairie dresses and had homeschooled her five children. When Jim left to move in with Helen, Maisy had condoned it. She and Helen became friends. Maisy had helped Helen with Chance when he was a baby. Ann pointedly did not ask Maisy and Sam to sit at her and Jim’s table. Maisy could sit with Helen in social Siberia.
Ann finished her cocktail and got herself another. A young man named Ford who attended Colgate (it said so right on his name tag; it must have been yacht club tradition to let people know how well educated the staff was) offered Ann a deviled egg, but Ann declined. She couldn’t possibly eat anything.
She wanted to find Jim and walk down the docks and admire the sailboats, but Jim was off mingling somewhere; he had not heeded her plea to stay within arm’s reach. Ann knew she should introduce herself to some of the other guests instead of spending the whole evening within the cozy ring of her Durham friends. As it was, those six were circled together, talking and laughing, having a fine time. They felt no compunction to meet Jenna’s mother’s cousins or Stuart’s boss, here with his wife and new baby.
But Ann was a politician, and it was in her nature to connect with as many new people as humanly possible. She was good at introducing herself; she should just do it. Helen would get there when she got there; Ann couldn’t fritter the whole evening away worrying about when.
She decided she would start with Doug Carmichael and tell him how touching she had found the rehearsal. But Doug was all the way out by the cannon and the flagpole, talking to a young woman with dreadlocks, whom Ann guessed was one of Jenna’s fellow teachers at the sustainable preschool. Then Ann spied Doug’s wife, sitting alone at one of the patio tables, drinking a very large glass of chardonnay and attacking a bowl of cashews. Ann approached. The woman’s name was Pauline, though Ann always had the urge to call her Paula.
“Hi, Pauline,” Ann said. “Mind if I join you?”
“Please,” Pauline said. She had the demeanor of someone sitting at home alone, rather than smack in the middle of a party, but she snapped to attention with Ann’s words and pulled her hand out of the cashew bowl.
“Lovely party,” Ann said. “This is such a beautiful club.”
“Is it?” Pauline said. “I hate it here.”
Ann tried not to appear startled. “Oh,” she said.
“Nantucket in general, I guess,” Pauline said. “So precious, so… I don’t know, self-satisfied.”
Ann had been thinking the same thing only that morning; she had about as much love for the North as General Lee. But Nantucket had grown on her over the course of the day. There had been the leisurely morning at the hotel, then Ann and Jim had strolled into town. They had shopped at galleries and antique stores. Ann had bought a painting of the ocean, all swirling blues and greens; it wouldn’t exactly blend in with their sprawling Victorian-which had once been owned by a nephew of the tobacco baron W. T. Blackwell, and Ann had painstakingly decorated with help from Southern Living-but it would be a nice reminder of Stuart’s wedding. Ann had also bought a straw hat with a black grosgrain ribbon, exorbitantly priced, but when she tried it on, Jim declared she had to have it. They had eaten a lunch of clam chowder and Caesar salad on the wharf, and Ann had tanned her legs in the sun.
“People seem to love it,” Ann said neutrally. She wished she hadn’t committed to sitting down. She cast about the party, looking for someone else she knew, somewhere else she could go. She saw Ryan with his boyfriend, Jethro; they were standing so close to each other that their foreheads were nearly touching. Ann was a Republican in a southern state, but parenting Ryan had given her an advanced degree in tolerance and acceptance. Jethro had become one of Ann’s favorite people in all the world. He had been raised in the Cabrini-Green housing projects on the south side of Chicago, a fact that had shocked Ann at first. Jethro’s manners were as elegant as if he’d been raised at Buckingham Palace. He was smart and funny, he spoke fluent Italian and French, he was the editor in chief at Chicago Style magazine. But right this instant, Ann wished that Ryan and Jethro would not announce themselves as so openly gay. They were at the Nantucket Yacht Club. The place was as straitlaced as a Junior League event at the Washington Duke back home. But Jethro had never been one to hide. Black and proud-the only person of color at this entire party, except for a Korean gal whom Jenna had gone to college with. And gay and proud.