She looked around the room, all eyes had shifted from me to her. She looked uncomfortable. Tristan and I ended our little performance. Setting my guitar down I couldn’t stop myself. I started walking toward Annie. She was a magnet that I couldn’t avoid. I didn’t want to.
When she lifted her head and saw me coming toward her she slightly shook her head. “Dinner is served,” Carrie called from the doorway of the dining room.
After everyone was seated, Jenna’s mom raised her glass of wine and tapped it with a fork. “If I could have everyone’s attention. I know none of us here have been big on praying. But, after the last few years we’ve had I think now is as good a time as any to start. Gage would you lead us in prayer?”
All eyes were on me. “Okay, I can do that.” I took a deep breath. Jenna was to my left and reached for my hand. My mom was on my right, placing her hand in mine. Everyone around the table joined hands and bowed their heads. I shut my eyes and spoke softly, “Dear Heavenly Father, as so many doors have closed this year we want to thank you for all the new doors you have opened. Help us and guide us in understanding and our faith. Help us trust in you and lean on you. Thank you for never leaving our sides in our times of need. We wouldn’t be all sitting here together right now if it wasn’t for you. You brought us all together for a reason. Thanks for your many blessings. Amen.” I opened my eyes and lifted my head. Annie was staring at me, her eyes glossy from unshed tears.
My mom tapped my shoulder. “That was perfect, sweetheart.”
Annie dropped her eyes and started scooping food onto her plate. “Yeah. Thanks, mom.”
Sitting back in my chair I watched as the girl I loved laughed, carefree. She looked perfect in my home. Her eyes met with mine and her smile slipped a little. Her eyes filled with sadness. I hated that I was the reason for that. Why did I have to be so damn hard headed? This could have been avoided if I would have told her what I was doing. But, no I wanted it to be a surprise. A surprise that I wouldn’t get to be a part of anymore.
“Who is ready for presents?” I asked over the talking and laughter.
Evie jumped up and down. “Me! Me, Unky Gage!”
“Let me clear the table then we can all retire to the living room for presents and dessert.” My mom sounded so formal.
“Screw the dishes. This is Christmas. You have presents waiting. Come on.”
Everyone made their way to the living room and found the perfect present unwrapping spot. “Who wants to pass out the presents?” Larkin asked.
Tyler stood and walked to the tree that was overflowing with presents. “Just call me Mr. Claus.” Tyler spent the better part of an hour passing out all the presents. “Kids first. Dig in.”
He didn’t have to tell the kids a second time. Wrapping paper was flying. Londyn looked overwhelmed. Sitting beside her I helped her open her mountain of gifts. My mom was walking around snapping picture after picture of all the kids and their new goodies.
“No way!” Gabe screeched.
Most of the adults looked at him. Annie asked, “What?”
He held up the three tickets I had gotten him. “Uncle Jase said Gage got me Superbowl tickets, mom!”
Annie forced a smile. “That is awesome, baby. You need to tell Gage thank you.”
Gabe hopped off the floor and climbed over wrapping paper, people, and presents to get to me. He threw his arms around my neck. “Thank you, Gage.” Having him hug me had my emotions on edge.
I pulled a small square box from my pocket and handed it to him. “Give this to your mom and tell her to open it, please.”
He took the box, nodded and made the journey back to his present unwrapping location.
“Gage, are you serious right now?” Tristan asked from the other side of the room.
Keeping my eyes on Annie, I asked, “What the hell are you talking about?”
“You got us a deal to go to L.A. and record an album.”
“Oh, yeah. I just set up the appointment. The rest is all you guys.”
“Fuckin’ awesome. Thanks, man.”
I nodded.
Annie finally had her present, she glanced at me before taking the paper off. I swear she is the slowest person ever to unwrap a gift. Popping the lid she covered her mouth with one hand. I took that as a good thing.
As if on cue, my doorbell rang. That could only be two people. Vicky and Heather. Only my mom and Trent knew I had invited them tonight. I looked at Trent who was frozen in place. His smile slipping. He looked as nervous as I was. I wanted to bolt to the door. Instead every step was struggled. It took me further from Annie and closer to her possibly walking out of my life for good. I slowly opened the door to find Heather and Vicky on the other side. The each were holding a few gifts.
Annie
Icouldn’t believe Gage got me a diamond bracelet. It was gorgeous. What had me in tears was the inscription on the inside.
Because Maybe You’re Going To Be The One That Saves Me
I didn’t want to be the one that saved him. I just wanted to be THE one. I was a mess but I was completely in love with him. Pulling the bracelet out of the velvet holder I put it on my wrist. I looked perfect.
When I looked up he was gone. What the hell? Actually the room was quiet. I looked around and saw my face. Well if I had done drugs for twenty five years and was roughly twenty years older. My heart was beating so fast I was waiting for it to jump out of my chest. I tried to talk but my voice left me. I open and shut my mouth over and over. Still no noise was coming.
“Annie?” The blonde that had her arms all over Gage that day in the diner asked from beside my older twin.
“Merry Christmas, Annie.” Gage said from between the two women.
My tears came quick. I didn’t have time to think. I was running. I ran down the hall and into Gage’s office. I slammed the door.
There was a knock on the door before Gage slowly opened it. “Annie, can I come in?”
I couldn’t look at him. “It’s your house.”
He took a few steps in the room and asked, “Did I fuck up by finding your mom and sister? I thought you wanted a family. I wanted to give you that for Christmas.” I looked up. He looked hurt. He wet his lips and took a few steps closer to me. “I wanted our first Christmas together to be special. I had my family and I wanted you to have yours.”
“I…I don’t know. I don’t know what to think.” I was honest.
“What if I have them come in here and the three of you can talk alone?” His voice was small. I had crushed his Christmas present. What did he expect me to do? I hadn’t seen my mom or sister in fifteen years. Did he expect me to drop everything and run to them with open arms?
“Okay,” I said quietly. I wanted him to know I appreciated what he did. As he was walking out of the door I said, “Thank you.”
He paused mid step, looking over his shoulder. “Anything for you, Annie.”
I took a few calming breaths as I waited. There was another knock on the door. “Come in,” I spoke softly.
My mom and sister entered hastily. The three of us just looking at each other.
“Annie, I’m so sorry.” My mom was the first to break the silence. “I never meant to hurt you. I hate myself every day for what I put you and Heather through. Gage told us about your past. If I could, I would go back and do so many things differently. I would have been the mom you two girls deserved.”