Lowering his head he lightly kissed my temple. Causing me to shiver. His lips whispering against my skin he said, “Because, Annie, I believe God sent you into my life when I needed you the most. He sent you to give me something to fight for. To show me that there was still love in this world. To give me hope and to bring me happiness. I guess you are proof that when you finally let go of the past something better, something magical comes along.” He paused, taking a deep breath. “I’m so afraid that one day you will realize what an ass I am and I will lose you for good, if I haven’t already. I need you. I need you to be mine. My life has been shit until you came crashing into it. Nothing has made since until you. Until us. I don’t want to lose this. Lose you. Us. I want this forever. “I love you and its fuckin’ killing me. Every day, every night, every fuckin’ moment…I miss you. I miss us. The way it used to be. I miss our family. I want it back. Please, just tell me what I have to do.”
My eyes were filled with tears. The words I wanted to hear weeks ago. I was in love with this man. I rested my head on his firm chest. “Gage, I am a giant mess. Probably the last thing you need in your life, but I love you. I am yours. Totally and completely. I have been since the day we met. Can’t you see that? I loved you at that darkest point of your life and I’ve never stopped.”
Placing his fist under my chin he pulled my face up to his. “I am in love with you, Annie. With everything I have. I am yours.”
He’s in love with me. He. Is. In. Love. With. Me.
Covering my mouth with his he slowly kissed me. Just as he started kissing me the band started playing I Won’t Give Up by Jason Mraz.
The perfect song. Our song.
Gage
Annie looked up at me, her face a mix of emotions. “We need to talk.”
I nodded. “I know. Do you want to walk on the beach?”
“Sure.”
On our way out I grabbed a bottle of champagne and two glasses. Annie was walking along the water, her dressed gathered in one hand so it didn’t get wet, her shoes in her other hand. Worrying her top lip she stopped faced me. “I know I told you it didn’t matter but I need to know. Did you sleep with anyone else while we were still friends?”
That was simple. “No. I haven’t looked at another female since I met you. I had plenty of chances, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to. They weren’t you. I wanted you and I was willing to wait until you were ready.”
She looked shocked. Looking away, she dug her toes into the sand. “Why couldn’t you tell me that before?”
Shrugging, I said, “I was scared. I didn’t want to feel what I was feeling. I thought I was protecting myself. Turns out I was doing the opposite. I didn’t just hurt myself though, I hurt you. That is the hardest part. I never wanted to hurt you. I wanted to push you away so you would run and I could blame you when everything fell apart. Nobody is to blame but me for all the shit.”
I hated myself every day for all the stupid shit I put her through. I was one lucky son of a bitch. Anyone else would have high tailed it the hell outta dodge. Not Annie, she stuck it out until I more or less told her to leave.
Annie sat just out of reach of the tide rolling in. I took a seat in the sand next to her and pulled her close to me, leaving my arm around her waist. “You found my sister and my mom for me. You gave me the family I always wanted. Gage, I want to be with you. I want us to be a family. But, at what expense? I can’t and won’t play your games. I have a son to think about. You can’t be a yo-yo in his life, coming and going as you please. Jase, the guy he looked up to as a father figure is leaving soon. Thanks to you, not that it’s a bad thing. I’m glad he is following his dreams. I’m happy for him, but Gabe will be left with no one. I would love for you to fill that role but it has to be permanent.”
“I love Gabe, you know that. I would love to be his dad and teach him how to play football and how to drive when he’s older. My track record with you isn’t the best but no matter what has happened between the two of us I have always stayed close to him. I don’t expect him to call me dad and buy me a tie on father’s day. I just want to be someone he can turn to and rely on. He has made his way into my heart, just like his mom.”
Watching her chest rise and fall, her breath accelerating with each intake I ran my nose up her cheek. I stopped at her temple and lightly kissed up her hairline. “This kind of craving we have is uncontrollable…unstoppable. We can feel it in our breathing, our kissing, and our touching. Sending passion and want through our veins and straight to our hearts. My past hasn’t been the best and I’m still learning. But, I know one thing for sure. I must have you. You’re mine and I’m yours.”
“Gage, we are like fire and ice. Ninety percent of the time we are fighting and yelling. The other ten percent of the time we are tangled up together. With us, it’s hot and cold. There’s no happy middle.”
Seeing the doubt in her eyes I grabbed her face and smashed my mouth to hers. I had missed this, her sweet taste. The taste that I had been craving. Pulling back I rested my forehead to hers and said, “Annie, it’s the fourth quarter with three seconds left in the game. I’m throwing a Hail Mary here and praying you catch it for the touchdown.” I pulled my face back to look her in the eyes. “You are the one I need, you’re the only one for me. There is something about you that I’m so damn scared to lose because I know I would never find it in someone else. I know how fuckin’ crazy I can be, but all I’m asking for is another chance. We can’t start over but we can start now and make a new ending. I am in love with you. Only you.”
Watching her eyes tear up and hearing the hitch in her breath was almost too much. I could feel her drawing away from me. I was losing her. I held onto her hands even tighter. Looking into her tear-filled eyes I could see doubt and hurt and sadness. But what kept me holding on, I could see the love she had for me. For us. I had known for a while that I was in love with her. I had been too damn scared to tell her. There had only been two girls in my life that I had said I loved and they both left me. I had been too afraid to take that risk again, but not anymore. This woman was worth the risk. She was worth everything.
Her eyes searched mine as her tears fell and a smile formed on her beautiful face. “I have waited so long to hear you say those words. I love you, too, Gage. So much.”
I didn’t give her a chance to say anything else before I was crushing my mouth to hers. Pouring everything I had into that kiss. “I love you, Annie Holland.”
She was my one. The one I wanted to spend my forever with.
Sometimes you have to fall to rise again. You have to make mistakes to live and learn. You have to be hurt to be thankful you’re alive. It’s something that is denied to many- like Cobie and Derek. But, we have to breathe, think, laugh, smile, love, and hurt. There will be sadness in our journey, its part of life. But, there is also so much beauty. We can’t stop living though, we have to push forward. You never know what’s waiting on the other side. Your Annie could be just around the corner.
Epilogue
Annie
8 Months Later
Rolling over I was welcomed by a cold bed. Opening my eyes, the bright sun burned. Tossing the bed sheet down, I sat up and rested my legs over the side of the bed. I could hear the shower running, weird. Gage had been slacking lately and never got up this early on his off days.
Pushing out of bed I shuffled into the bathroom. “Hey, why are you up so early?”
I could see Gage through the glass shower door, his body was nothing short of perfect and I still got hot and bothered from seeing it.