My head moves, but it’s not a nod or a shake, because I don’t know what answer he expects me to give him. I didn’t want him to find out like this, but it’s done. My mind races with the conversation I had with Boo, trying to find the right way of saying what I want to say.
“We’ve been over for a long time, Mac.” I no longer care what the management say, or what the repercussions are.
“Like hell we are.” He jumps from his seat and strides towards me, his face distorted. “If you think you can leave and set up happy house with that cunt, you’re wrong.”
My eyes widen and I take another step away from him. The movement only increases his anger. He moves quickly, grabs me hard around my wrist, and drags me into the hallway. I fight bile down when he throws me against the welcome table, encases me from behind and locks both my wrists in his torturous grip. His free hand tears into my hair, ripping my head back so I’m forced to look into the mirror.
“I own you. Not him. Me. You’re a fucking whore. It should be my dick putting a baby in you. Not scum like Noah fucking Hamilton.”
He spits Noah’s name and his hardness swells against my hip. Oh, God, I feel sick. He’s getting off on this. I stare blankly into the mirror as Mac continues his violent onslaught of words, mentally shutting down, waiting for the first physical blow to strike. I watch unfocused as blurred tears fall from the eyes of the woman in the reflection.
I imagine she’s held safe in the love of Noah’s arms, visualise his reaction to being told he’s going to be a dad. Try to find a happy place for her, where her body isn’t numb and her eyes aren’t blinded by tears and pain.
“I’ll tell you now, you fucking bitch. You’ll tell him it’s over, or I’ll kill the cunt. I’ll firebomb his fucking house with him inside and I’ll watch the fucker burn.” Spittle flies from his mouth as he shakes me. “Or maybe Ignition?”
The insanity in Mac’s words convinces me he’s over the edge. My breaths stutter and my eyes come back into focus.
His eyes are wild, a sadistic sneer fixed on his face. “And if that doesn’t persuade you to stay away”—he digs his fingers into my stomach and squeezes—“I’m sure I can either fuck or knock this baby out of you.” The edges of my vision fade and my heart overloads.
Noah’s baby.
I fight for every breath, but I can’t get the air into my lungs quick enough. Colour disappears, turning everything to monochrome, and darkness takes over.
Hands grip into my shoulders, shaking me. “Wake the fuck up. Wake up!”
My vision returns to see Mac’s contorted face above me. I try to fight him away but his fingers grasp tighter. So much pain.
“Mr. Kinkaid?” One of his security guards places his hand on Mac’s shoulder, and pulls him back. “Not a good idea. I think she’s had enough.”
The grip on my shoulders abruptly release as Mac turns on him. “Who told you it’s okay to interfere in my private fucking life? Piss off.”
Still groggy, I try and pull myself up off the floor and against the wall. The bodyguard’s piercing gaze meets mine. It’s James. He’s been around years and never interfered like this before.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Kinkaid. But there’s going to be enough bad press as it is.”
Mac’s shoulders heave before he swings around and grabs me by the chin and forces my head up. “I meant what I said.” He squeezes a little tighter before letting go and turning on the guard. “And you. You’re fucking fired.”
When Mac stalks past James he stands a little straighter, but keeps his gaze on me. The front door slams, sending a shudder through my body. James opens his mouth, but no sound comes out. Then he nods and walks away, leaving me standing alone in the hall.
My brain tries to process what just happened, but it can’t. My whole body is frozen solid. I should move, I should leave, I should do something. Yet nothing’s happening.
My baby.
The unmistakeable sound of Mac’s car revving and tearing out of the drive allows me a little respite.
What am I going to do?
I already know there’s no option. Mac has proven he is unstable and beyond gone. My throat tightens and my chest aches. I have no doubt he would carry out exactly what he said he would.
Noah can’t be hurt because of me. I need to keep him safe, and to protect the unborn life inside of me.
With my head hung low, hot tears flow from my eyes and drip from the tip of my nose onto the floor.
I have to leave Noah.
STANDING AT NOAH’S front door, I shuffle my feet side to side as I stare back onto the drive. I know I shouldn’t be here. But I had to see him one last time. Tell him face to face. I’m fooling myself. This would be easier on the phone or via text. I whip my head back around when I hear the door open, walking in past him, and he closes the door behind me.
When I enter his house, large hands grasp at my wrists capturing me with little effort against the door. Noah raises them above my head, pinning them with his left hand and lowers his head into the crook of my neck. He inhales along my skin, as he tenderly strokes his nose up to my ear, sending tingles down my spine.
“Fuck, I’ve missed you.”
His lips crash onto mine, and the passion in the kiss pools heat between my thighs. His free hand roams up and down my side, coming to rest on the swell of my breast. His thumb gently and repeatedly grazes my nipple until it buds under his touch.
My whole body tenses. Not from his touch. Even now, after everything Mac put me through, my body still lights up for Noah, it always will. But the words burning inside me won’t let me continue. I can’t do that to him. He senses the shift in my composure.
Noah pulls away slightly, and his concerned gaze scans me from head to toe. It comes to rest on my wrists. The moment he sees the bruises, I know. His jaw clenches and his brows pinch in the middle. I should’ve covered them, but I didn’t think. He releases his grasp and pulls them down towards him. Thick thumbs rub over the blue welts circling my skin. My heart pounds hard as he examines the fingerprints.
“I hurt you?” The pain etched in his eyes takes my breath away.
“No.” I shake my head. “You didn’t.”
“Fuck, angel. If I hurt you when I pin you down, I need to know.”
Although my heart’s shattering, I still smile. He’s so gentle, even when rough and unrestrained. He’d never hurt me. Not like that.
“It didn’t.”
“The bruises say different.”
“Noah, I promise. You didn’t hurt me.” I would never let this man believe he did that. He gave me life in a world full of darkness he knows nothing about. But I can’t tell him the truth.
Again, he appraises me with his gaze, and then entwines his fingers with mine. I let him, because even though I’m going to rip out my own heart, I need this. I need him. If only for a few more minutes.
“Come on. I want to talk to you.”
My stomach tightens. He runs his fingers through his hair and I know he’s got something on his mind. Whatever it is can’t be as terrible as what I have to do. He gives me a nervous glance, and tugs on my hand.
I follow, my mind buzzing with what I have to say. Entering into his lounge he motions for me to sit on the sofa. I clasp my hands between my knees and watch him pace. My heart constricts in my chest, taking my breath. Every muscle on his naked torso ripples with the movement. I can’t look away even if I wanted to.
He stops pacing and thrusts his hands in his pockets. “I’ve been thinking…”
The lazy smile and the hopeful look on his face warm my heart. Emotion builds inside me. Whatever he’s going to say next I know I’ve longed to hear but never needed to. I nod my head at him. “Go on.” I shouldn’t say it; I should jump in and save him, and myself, from the pain. But I need to hear it, now more than ever.