The room is filled with an eclectic mix of knick-knacks, furniture, and kitchen products. I smile to myself because it’s all so Boo. I pour myself a cup of tea and sit at the old oak table she has near the fireplace, pull my legs up and lose myself in the burning embers, which resemble Noah’s eyes. So much so that when she comes into the room I don’t hear her. When she scrapes a chair back at the table it makes me jump and I spill hot tea down my front.
“God.” I jump up from the table to get a cloth and wipe myself down.
“You okay?” Layla asks from the table.
I groan and look over to her. “Yeah, I’m fine,” I huff, and return to the chair. Again, I lift my legs up, but this time I wrap my arms around them and rest my chin on my knees.
“I spoke to Ted again after you fell asleep. If it’s any help, Spud found Noah and took him home. Apparently there were no other women involved,” Layla offers with a smile.
My worst fear. Noah’s coping mechanisms—alcohol and women. I can’t escape the visions in my head thanks to Noah’s talk of threesomes. Layla’s comment helps to relieve some of the ache in my chest. The thought that he would leave and touch someone else like he did me makes me feel physically ill. I swallow deeply.
“I just don’t see how we are ever going to be able to sit down and have a conversation,” I continue and then sigh. “The physical attraction is what it’s always been. It was always a good thing in the past, but now…”
I don’t really know how to finish the sentence. The fact we want to tear each other’s clothes off, even after all this time, has got to be a good thing. Hasn’t it?
Layla’s expression grows concerned as she speaks again. “You’re worried that’s all it is, right?”
“I just don’t know how we move forward, if we can move forward. It’s all so messed up. And he’s still pushing me away.” The words hang in the air for a few seconds.
“No one said this was going to be easy, hun. You’ve been apart for three years, a lot has happened in that time… For both of you.” She takes a drink from her mug. “Talking of which, have you spoken to—”
“Of course I have. Not that I can get a conversation out of him, he’s enjoying himself too much.” I feel a different squeeze on my heart. “I really miss him, but I don’t get the feeling it’s mutual.” I half moan and smile at the same time.
“I’m sure he misses you like crazy, it’s just you’re the one that was left behind while he went off visiting friends. He’s fine. You’ve got abandonment issues.”
She’s really amused herself and laughs her heart out. It’s infectious. Finally the weight in my mind lifts slightly, and I laugh along with her.
“Yes, you’re right. I suppose it’s best he missed out on all this drama, though. At least I can keep that from him. He only knows I’m visiting you.”
“Cool. Well, give him my love next time you speak to him, okay?”
“Of course, I will. He’ll be here in a couple of days, and you can tell him yourself.” I squirm in my seat a little, as an uncomfortable feeling washes over me. “Do you think Noah will understand?” I ask, already knowing the answer.
“Not a chance.” Blunt and to the point, that’s Layla. “If the shoe was on the other foot, would you? But he’ll come around.”
“How can you be so sure? I’m not certain I could forgive him. I mean, the one-night stands are one thing, because we aren’t together, but this is much more than that. I think it would break my heart if he did the same to me.”
“Because Noah loves you enough,” she says, like the statement would solve world peace. “And you would come to terms with it eventually, you’d have to. The bigger question is do you think he’ll understand about Noah?”
“He knows all about Noah.” My hackles come up. I take a drink of my tea and fidget with the mug in my hands. “I just don’t know what I’m going to do.”
Layla’s front door slams and heavy footsteps pound down the hall. I jerk as she touches me and my world halts.
“It’s okay, Lizzie, it’s just—” Before she can finish her sentence, a blond-haired man comes strolling into the kitchen like he owns the place. “Ted.”
“Morning, ladies.”
My heart races and my palms go clammy.
“You bloody halfwit,” Layla snaps at him. “Do you have any idea what you just did to Lizzie?”
His jaw drops and he gapes at me. So this is Noah’s friend, Ted, but he calls him Bear. I’m sure I look the image of loveliness with perspiration dripping from my forehead, as cold sweats engulf my body. Loud noises can still make me uncomfortable, unless I’m with Noah. Even when he’s angry, I never feel threatened, just safe.
He turns back to Layla. “Is she okay? She looks like she saw a ghost.”
“Don’t you ever think?” she scolds. These two must be closer than Layla has let on for him to just wander in.
“Why, what did I do?” he asks, his eyes wide and tone exasperated,
She looks at him as if he’s stupid and an expression of understanding flows over his face. It appears Layla has clued him in on some of my situation as it relates to his friend. Unsurprising when Ted is the only reason Noah calmed down outside the coffee shop.
Ted turns to me with a regretful expression on his face. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It’s okay.” My heart’s still racing, and I want to be alone. I get up out of my chair. “I’ll leave you both to it. I’m just going to go and have a shower.” I walk over to the sink and place my mug down. As I’m walking out, his fingers wrap around my arm, making me turn back to look up at him.
When he’s not making loud noises he has a comforting presence, much like Noah’s, but he’s a few inches taller.
“He’s a mess, you know,” he informs me.
He’s talking about Noah, and from the pain in his green eyes, I know he’s telling the truth. I drop my gaze to the floor, finding it difficult to look him in the eye, and let out a long breath before glancing back up. I know Noah’s hurting, and in turn that only increases the pain I’m already suffering. But at least I tried to fix us, which is more than I can say for him.
What a way to meet Noah’s best friend.
“Well, that makes two of us,” I say, and walk out of the room. As I near the bottom of the stairs, I turn and glance back down the hallway into the kitchen, just as Ted envelops Boo into his arms.
“He’s my best friend, Layla. I can’t hide it from him for much longer.” He rests his chin on the top of her head. “It’ll kill him if he finds out before she has the balls to tell him. He’s already hit the bottle again, and I don’t know how long we can keep him from self-destructing. She really has no idea the effect she has on him.”
My chest tightens. She told him everything?
Layla relaxes in his arms. They’re clearly more than friends. “Just give her a few more days, okay? Can you do that for me?” She leans back and looks up into his eyes.
I hear him exhale. “Okay, a few days.” He nods. “I think we can hold him together that long. But after that I’m telling him. He deserves to know the truth… I’ve already kept too much from him.”
I can’t stomach listening to them anymore. I hang my head and silently walk up the stairs. I’ve got two, maybe three, days before the choice is taken out of my hands. Why does everyone insist on controlling my decisions? I walk into the bedroom just as tears begin to cascade down my cheeks. It’s not like I haven’t tried to tell him. He wouldn’t hear me out. I would never purposely hurt Noah.
I sit on the edge of the bed, every bit of strength sapped out of my muscles from Ted’s words. My head falls into my hands, my heart beats loudly in my ears, and I rub my fingers into my scalp to try and relieve the nagging pain building in my head.