“You honestly thought they didn’t know? Bollocks, Noah. You’re brighter than that. I didn’t take you for a naive pussy. And for the record, mate, if I’d wanted to hurt you all I needed to do was say I’d shagged her, not kidnap her.” My fists tighten at my sides, but Bear shakes his head, appeasing me. “I assumed you knew because they always fucking know. They would have known where you were from the moment you walked away, you know that. They could have seen you with her and if that’s the case they would know what she means to you.”
So fucking naive. So bloody blind. So fucking stupid.
The tattoo on my abs itches and I want to scratch the fucking thing off. The brand I can never get rid of, the curse that made me what I am, I used to wear with pride. Now? It just marks me as Satan in disguise, and I repulse even myself.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” I panic, needing to release the agony building inside me. She’s in their hands and it’s my fault. If I can’t function, I won’t be able to get her out. The words from the card taunt me and I pray they don’t mean what I think they do.
The message is inconspicuous, it could mean anything. Except the kennel is where we trained and I’ve only ever lost one thing that’s meant something. Lizzie.
“Why? You still work for them. Why would they take her?” I storm through the house, searching room to room, hoping this is all some big wind-up and Lizzie is hiding somewhere.
“Fuck, mate. I do what I have to because I know I can’t just walk away. They won’t let me. I keep a toe in—I’m not in bloody bed with them,” Bear shouts from behind me.
I race up the stairs and search my bedroom. I stop in my tracks as her scent invades my senses; my chest heaves with emotion I’m barely holding in. Folded on the bed is the T-shirt she wore earlier. Thoughts of her soft skin under my fingers flood my brain. I’ve always known she would be my downfall, but still I could never resist her. I shake the thoughts, check the other rooms, and jog back downstairs. Bear waits in the kitchen.
“So, what’s the plan?” he questions, as I enter the room.
“There is no plan.” I run my hands over my face and take a deep breath. “They want me at the kennel, so I’ll go.”
“You think I’m letting—”
“You don’t get a fucking choice. If they thought they could trust you when it came to me, you’d be a part of this. They have Lizzie, and I will do whatever it takes to get her out of their hands.”
“Yeah, I know. But—”
“There are no buts, mate. For some fucking reason they want me. If it means getting her out of there, I will do anything, and I mean anything to enable that. You get me?” A certain calm washes over me as the words spill out.
A small smirk plays on Bear’s lips. “It’s good to have you back. I thought you’d gone AWOL for good. Just a shame it’s these circumstances that revived you.”
“Yeah, well, as they say, ‘love can break you, but it can also make you.’ And if it’s the last thing I do, I’ll be the man she fucking deserves.”
“What about Kai?”
“Are your lads on him?”
He nods. “Yeah, I called Danny again while you were upstairs. Everyone’s where they should be.”
“Good.” I suck in a breath and turn away from him. “Listen, mate… Take care of him, and Lizzie, if I get her out.” I’m asking my friend to be my boy’s dad, in place of me. Asking him to take care of the two most precious things I’ve ever had in my life. “Can I trust you with that?” I return my gaze to him.
“It’s not going to happen,” Bear states as he shuffles his feet.
“I’ll tell you now, so you are under no illusions. If I have to lie to get her out, if I have to work for them to get her out, or if I have to die to get her out, I will.” I walk over to him. “I have no fucking clue what they want with me that’s bad enough to take Lizzie. They could have just phoned me. They know where I live, I’m sure they have my fucking number. So, do I have to beg, or can I trust you with my world?”
“Although you begging me for anything sounds appealing, I think I’ll just go with a yes.” He lets out a short burst of laughter, but then his face sobers. “Do you think you can pull this off, mate? I mean if Lizzie wasn’t involved I wouldn’t doubt you for a second, but…”
“They’ve taken her because they know she means something to me, right? I’ll just have to make them see things differently.” Thoughts of what convincing them might entail make my voice grow gruff.
“Yeah? How are you going to do that? I know you have a certain skill set but, fuck, Noah, when she’s involved?” He huffs. “What I’m asking is, can you turn it off?”
I scan his face and see something deeper in his question. The uncertainty in his eyes isn’t just for me, it’s for him as well. What a time to find out my best friend has fallen in love. “No, you can’t.” A sad smile crosses my face. “But you can try to hide it.” Cold creeps into my body at the thought and starts to crystallise the blood coursing through my veins. “I need to go.”
I lift my car keys off the hook over the table in the hallway and turn to Bear. “I’m taking the Mustang, and I’ve got another favour to ask.”
“Whatever you need.”
“I don’t want you pulling any stupid shit, but I need you or one of the lads there on the outskirts. If I succeed and get her out I need to know someone will be there to pick her up. Make sure she gets home to our son, without complications.”
“No problem. Why do I get the feeling you think you aren’t coming back?”
A broad smile spreads across my lips. “I’m covering all my bases, but don’t underestimate me. You should know me better than that. I was down for a while but I’m still fit. However, I’ve already told you, if I have to give my life to save hers, to make sure my son has his mum, I will. At least it will be given for something worthwhile, instead of the usual shit it’s been jeopardised for in the past.”
“Is this your way of telling me you’re glad I saved your sorry arse the last time?”
“Yeah, mate. I suppose it is.” I slap him on the shoulder. “If I’ve been put on earth for something, this would be it.”
Compartmentalising the fear for Lizzie’s safety, any doubt of my own abilities leaves my body. What remains is the skilled soldier, the trained killer. I have no doubt the minutes are ticking for the men who took her. Because, given time, I will take down every last one of them.
CLENCHING MY HANDS around the steering wheel, I carefully observe the building and its surroundings. It’s been years since I’ve been here, and nothing seems to have altered. The long, abandoned aircraft hangar’s set back on a small, old airfield. The bomb dump across the access road houses some of the training facilities. Ten-foot high chain link fences still surround the area, but everything looks uncared for. It’s the perfect place to hide an active group of deniable assets.
The sky turns dusky as the sun lowers. I close my eyes and rest my head back against the seat, drawing in deep, calming breaths. To pull this off my emotions need to be under control. Any sign of weakness and it’ll be game over. The only problem is my fucking weakness is here somewhere and she’ll be used to taunt me. It can be the only reason they’ve taken her, but I’m still trying to figure out why.
My heart pounds as I step out of the car and shrug on my jacket. With measured steps, I make my way over to the main gate. Praying the access code hasn’t changed, I punch in eight numbers seared into my brain like a branding iron. I let out a low breath when the familiar clunk of the release mechanism penetrates my eardrums above the blood surging in them.