“Hey, I meant that in a good way. I’m just saying that we shouldn’t throw caution to the wind and rush into anything. You said it yourself, we just found each other again, let’s not do anything to jeopardize it. Okay? Ffffor now, ookayy?” Her teeth were chattering.
I stroked the length of her arms to warm her up and kissed her forehead. “You’re freezing, let’s get you inside. Long weekends sound great.” For now, it was obvious I didn’t have a say at this point. “I’ll speak to Suzie, she’ll lighten my Friday.” Or cancel it.
“Don’t do that, it’s harder for you to adjust your schedule. Besides, the earliest I can fly out is Friday morning. I’m a big girl; I can fend for myself. When you’re done with whatever it is you do, I’ll be waiting.”
Whatever it is you do, I chuckled. The woman stared at god knows what all day, yet looked grossed out mentioning my choice of profession. Most women swooned when they found out I owned my own law firm. Again, not most women. Not to mention I liked that she’d be waiting. It sounded perfect. She was perfect.
“Perfect.”
She took her suitcase handle from me and said, “Now that we’ve settled that, you’ve got five days to buy a new set of sheets, because as lovely as your guest room is, I’d like to sleep in your bed when I come back.”
I stole my word back. “Done.” Then I kissed her like she deserved to be kissed, not like we were standing in public. “Call me when you land.” She nodded but that wasn’t good enough. My brow raised when I said, “Promise.” It wasn’t really a request.
“Pinky swear.” She shrugged her shoulders and I swatted her corduroy-clad ass. She walked toward the revolving glass doors and waved behind her.
Sorry, Kim, HATE Sunday.
Halfway through Sumner Tunnel, our conversation played on repeat, and my frustration mounted by the second. I couldn’t help but obsess over it. I scraped my hand over my face and took a deep breath, trying to concentrate on the road. Radio on, radio off. Shit. Coming off possibly the best weekend of my life, I should’ve been flying high. After all she said ‘for now’ twice, alluding to a future. What the fuck, I was psychoanalyzing. Who overthought shit like this? Not guys. Wouldn’t want to send you into shock.
Did she think I was going to change my mind or get bored and toss her aside when I had my fill? She knew me better than that. Fuck, who was I kidding? That was exactly my M.O., why wouldn’t she think that. The realization that she didn’t trust me settled as an uneasy pit deep in my stomach. And this time the unfamiliar feeling sucked, except I didn’t trust me. Selfishly I wanted her to uproot her life and roll the dice on me. Even if I stayed true to this new page, the future held no guarantees. Hurting her was not an option. The tears she shed when I told her about my battle with Hodgkin’s were already tears too many. And what if it came back, or worse, I followed in my family’s genetic pool?
The phone rang through the car’s Bluetooth system.
“Yeah, talk to me,” I bit out.
“Hey, Ash. Umm, this a bad time?” It was Lil.
“Nah, sorry, gorgeous. Caller ID assumed it was your other half. What can I do for you?”
“Oh nothing, I was just calling to see if Tal made it off okay. And I wanted to tell you we had such a great time yesterday. Thanks for setting it up.”
“My pleasure, glad you ladies had fun.”
“Oh, we did. And it was nice to get to know Talia. She’s so super sweet. I can see why you’re crazy about her. I have to admit though—and it’s not one of my finer moments—that stupidly there was a tiny little part of me that wanted to dislike her. You three have so much history. But I know now my completely irrational jealousy was silly, so I’m going to chalk it up to hormone imbalance.” She chuckled. Lil didn’t have a dishonest bone in her body. She was probably stewing over this for days.
“That’s ridiculous. You have nothing to be jealous of, but speaking of, sorry I haven’t asked lately. How’re you doing with everything?”
“Eh, but I didn’t call to talk about me.” Mental note, I needed to check in with Chase. “I’m crazy happy for you. And by the way, Sierra mercilessly interrogated Talia yesterday. And she handled it like a freaking champ. She gets our stamp of approval.”
“Thanks. I love that you think she’s the one in need of a stamp when we both know it’s really the other way around.”
“I completely disagree. You’re one of the most handsome, trustworthy men I’ve ever met. Any woman would be beyond lucky to have you. And from the way Tal was talking yesterday, I’m going to go out on a limb and say she feels the same.”
“Yeah, well, the trustworthy part is questionable.”
“Maybe she needs to see that you trust yourself. You’re a resourceful guy, I’m not too worried.”
I let her words sit for a minute. My text signal chimed.
Just boarded, have some sweet dreams lined up ;)
7200 minutes and counting...
Maybe Lil wasn’t just spewing shit. Maybe I needed to man the fuck up and go for it. The future was beyond my control, I’d give it that, but today, right now—that was mine. I knew what I wanted, and she was sitting on the tarmac at Logan International.
I turned right at the light. I lived left. “Whatcha doing right now, gorgeous?”
“Right now? Not much. Was going to order myself some dinner. Chase just started a case, won’t be home for hours. Why?”
“I’ve got you covered for dinner. Pick you up in five...”
“Ooh, fun. But no sushi, don’t tell Chase, but I’m sushi’d out.”
I chuckled. “No shit. I’m surprised he’s not riddled with fucking mercury poisoning.” She laughed—she was adorable. “But first we need to make a stop, and I need your eyes.”
“No problem. Where are we going?”
Good question. Again thankful for three sisters, I answered, “Restoration Hardware.”
Chapter 11 Diamonds
“You still ski?” I zipped my suitcase and rolled it into the living room. She had no idea where we were going, nor did she know how we were getting there. I toyed with alternate arrangements, which would have never crossed my mind before. The weather looked perfect though and I was fanatical with maintenance, so I couldn’t really explain my sudden concern about safety. But I loved surprising her so today she was going to be sitting copilot. Aside from a few random occasions and mostly as transportation favors, I usually flew alone, never wanting to share the sacred air time. I craved the rush of the take off, the solace, and freedom mid-air; the accomplishment once you reached your destination. Tal was as much of an adrenaline junky as me, and she’d been dying to take a ride. Done. Boston to Vermont and directly into Stowe was less than an hour, just long enough for her to get a taste.
“Funny time to ask.” She rolled her suitcase next to mine, headbanding her loose hair with her aviator sunglasses. I loved that my barefoot daredevil went nowhere without eye protection and no doubt sunblock. Ha, staples in her line of work. “Maybe you should have questioned before you sent me a winter jacket, which I love and thank you again … and how did we never discuss the boxes of HTs surrounding it?”
“What? It was Valentine’s Day, you needed a little something red.” And cut flowers were out of the question.
“You thought by me eating all those HTs I’d have my layer of insulation. You forgot to mention to pack warm and that I was going to need Bogs and ski goggles.”
I wasn’t sure how to read her cues, whether she was annoyed with the impromptu ski trip or not. Well, it wasn’t exactly impromptu since the whole family met at the same house every President’s Day week since my oldest niece started kindergarten and my sisters informed me it was a mortal sin to pull kids from school. I hadn’t mentioned the family reunion tidbit yet either. And now didn’t seem like a good time so I held my tongue.