“Hey, son, want to grab me one?” My dad pinched my shoulder, pointed to my beer and sat down on the kitchen stool next to mine.
“Hey, Pops.” I caught my mother out of the corner of my eye shaking her head no. Guess it wasn’t a good day. I grabbed two seltzer cans from the fridge, leaving my Heineken behind.
“You too, huh. What does a guy need to do to get a beer?” he grumbled, clearly not happy about it. Symptoms worsened with alcohol. It had only been about six weeks since I saw him last and he looked different. His face was drawn and his normal jovial eyes were dulled and glazed. My throat tightened, feeling like a little piece of my father was missing.
“Up for some skiing tomorrow?” If anything was going to brighten his eyes, a ride down the mountain would. Man lived for it. My sisters and I were on skis the year we walked. “Would love to hit the front four with you for a couple runs. First tracks?”
He nodded, attempted a half smile and then his eyes bounced toward the living room. Talia was the only blonde; he couldn’t miss her. I ushered us over, planting my father on the nearest chair since he seemed unsteady. Maybe skiing was off the table. “Dad, this is-”
“You don’t have to tell me. I’d know that sweet face anywhere.” Dad’s bellow grabbed the room’s attention.
“Hey, Mr. Craig, it’s so wonderful to see you.” Talia crossed the living room, leaned over and hugged him so he wouldn’t have to stand. Cowlneck. Lucky Pop. When she parked herself beside him, he was still holding her hand. Smart Pop.
“I didn’t know you’d be here.”
Mom cleared her throat a little louder than necessary. “None of us did, darling.” My sisters cackled in my direction like they were five. Point made, whatever. “It was a surprise, a lovely one at that,” Mom continued. There was no mistaking her genuineness. No one could miss it, least of all Talia, whose liquid eyes shined brighter, stirring that unfamiliar warmth behind my chest again.
Pop squeezed Talia’s hand. “Are your parents up here, too?” The room quieted. No one knew about Talia’s mother, but I was fairly certain everyone would have remembered her father’s passing. It was years ago, innocent mistake, considering.
Talia’s smile never faltered, answering with a simple, “No.”
My family was well versed with Alzheimer communication strategies, including steering clear of ‘do you remember’ questions. Luckily my father was still in the early stages of his disease and mostly struggled with finding the right words, organization, or forgetting recent events, but we still tried to avoid anything to trigger more confusion. I quickly changed the subject.
“Pop, I think we’re in for a good laugh, Talia’s going to try and conquer the bunny slope.”
Tal smiled brighter in my direction and I winked to thank her for handling the awkwardness like a pro. She turned back to Pop and said, “Your son is quite the comedian.”
“He takes after his old man.” The room eye-rolled. Ha, hadn’t heard that one before. Dad took a second to pat himself on the back then asked, “So when is she getting here?”
“Who?” Mom questioned.
“Talia. I’m surprised she’s not with you. You two could be the twins. For that matter, where’s your brother, already on the mountain?” The quiet from moments ago was nothing compared to the deafening silence that engulfed us. The knot in my throat stung like a bitch. Avery and Molly’s eyes ping-ponged back and forth. Tara’s face drained of all color while she death gripped my forearm. We all watched Mom’s eyes well in slow motion. Because we knew. We knew all too well. This wasn’t a little confusion. Dad thought Tal was Kimi, which meant he had no idea what year it was. This was a serious change in his cognitive function. And a sickening punch. We knew our two years of luck had run out and next year at this time, we’d be lucky to see a glimmer of the man we loved. Goddamn it, we’d be lucky to see him at all. You’d think firsthand experience and two years of preparing ourselves would lessen the blow ... it didn’t.
Dad kept talking, blending past and present, struggling to find words, flustering himself in the process. He was getting more agitated by the second. Tal suggested we find a more comfortable spot, so we moved to the couch in front of the fire. It gave me a chance to tug Molly into the kitchen and calm her down after she lost her shit. It took a lot longer than it should have, but then again we just watched our father deteriorate before our eyes. With this fucking disease there were no two steps forward and one step back; it was full steam ahead from this point on.
I joined them back in the living room, my jaw tight, and my fists itching to meet a wall for release, expecting a bad scene. But that’s not what I found. Mom was sitting next to Dad, dry-eyed and calm, her smile aimed at Talia. Even at the tail end of the conversation there was no mistaking what was going on. Tal was cool as a cucumber, going with the flow and answering Dad’s jumbled questions, pretending she was Kimi. Her eyes were soft, her posture relaxed, and her hands had never left Pops. The tension was half of what it had been. Because of her.
Mom and I silently exchanged glances then she fake yawned and convinced Dad to join her for a rest. He needed it. They both did. The breath everyone had been holding released when our parents left the room. First thing Monday I was hiring a full-time nurse to help my mother.
My sisters went to change out of their bathrobes and I took the vacant seat next to Tal, running my hand down her thigh. “You okay?” Guilt stabbed at me. She didn’t sign up for this, any of it.
“Me? Oh my goodness, I’m fine. I’m more concerned about you and your family. I can only imagine how hard this is.”
“Not exactly the carefree good time I promised. Sorry, I’ll make it up to you.”
“There’s nothing to make up. You’re something else, you know that? You never worry about yourself. Are you ever not taking care of everyone around you? Please let me return the favor.” Her voice was sincere. Too sincere. “Life is what it is, can’t change it, just have to live it … I’m glad I’m here, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be, actually.”
Son of a bitch. She blew every instinct I had to pieces. I should have told her to not only run in the other direction, but sprint. I should have reminded her that the shit-storm my father was facing would inevitably be headed in my direction. Instead I kissed her. “Did you ever consider psych? You’re pretty smart for a dermatologist.”
She laughed against my lips. “You’re an ass.” When she sat back her hands found their favorite spot in my hair. “And for the record, I don’t think you’ve broken a promise a day in your life, especially not to me, and definitely not today.”
I shook my head, feeling something I hadn’t in forever and borderline inappropriate given the circumstances … lucky. How fucked up was that?
The front door rattled and a range of little voices brought us back to the present.
“The magic of kids. They make you plaster on that smile, get up and move on,” Avery mumbled as my sisters walked back through the living room and toward the door to meet their husbands and kids.
“Unkie Ashy!” Emma ran past her mother and leaped into my arms. “Who’s dat? You brought Barbie?” And this was why they were magic. The thick melancholic air evaporated almost immediately and the entire house erupted into laughter. “Hers Barbie, yay!” She left my lap and crawled onto Talia’s. Ha, never crossed my mind, but I saw the resemblance immediately, long blonde hair, perfect tits, ass and legs. Yup, Barbie.
“Who’s a silly girl, thinking I look like Barbie? Well, I’m going to take that as a very big compliment. Barbie is super cool. Do you have one here?”
Emma leaped down and literally jumped up the stairs. My other four nieces said their quiet hellos and followed behind the Tasmanian devil.