“Can you rub my back, please? Help me fall asleep.”
What was I doing? We were home, in our bed, Tal tangled in my arms—no IV poles, no recliner chairs, no stiff white sheets, no pungent Lysol smell—and I was moving shit around in my head. I just didn’t want to forget. Damn, the area rug in the guest room needed to come up. Tomorrow.
“I’m sorry.” My fingers started in her hair, finding her scalp, working my way down across her neck and shoulders to her back, doing it in the way I knew she loved, but gentler. When my fingers brushed over the ratty edges of the Steri-Strips still covering her incision, my breath lodged in my throat. This time it wouldn’t come free. Her ear was positioned over my heart, there was no way she missed it or my spiking heart rate. God, what was wrong with me?
“I’m glad Tack finally caved and listened to us, not that I love the idea of my son spending a night at the Cape, alone in a hotel with his girlfriend, but he needs this time. It’s a lot to take in … all of this. When he called before I told him to spend the day, no need to rush back. What are the chances he’ll listen to me? He’s so stubborn sometimes.”
I knew exactly what she was doing. And it was working.
“No shit, he’s all you.” She pinched my nipple and I squealed like a girl, “Ouch.” How did she do that? Her legs were dead weight beneath her and she was making this normal. For me. I owed her the same. “Teeps, I hate to break it to you, but Tack’s nineteen, with two years of college under his belt. He’s spent more than just tonight, alone, with Paige and whoever else.”
“Eww, stop. I can’t … no … really? You think … no.” I felt her little nose scrunch against my bare skin. She was adorable. She was Tal. She was the same person.
“I’m a guy, I was his age. I don’t think, I know.”
“Uhhh ... great. A lunatic goes postal on us, I get shot, who knows what’s going to happen with my—by the way who gets shot in real life—and I haven’t had a nightmare yet. You go and plant that … um … seed, uh, no pun intended. Now I’m definitely going to have a nightmare.”
I shook my head and we both let out a little nervous laughter. Nothing about what we were going through was normal, yet normal felt right. And even though that fear of the unforeseen future was still a heavy blanket weighing on our shoulders, it felt an ounce lighter.
She snuggled a little deeper into my chest, sighed, and began to hum. Like clockwork. But this one I liked. Scratch that—I loved and had missed it like crazy. Brushing her hair off her face, I kissed her forehead and wrapped her in my arms a little tighter. Her breathing slowed and her humming faded away within moments. My stubborn woman was too exhausted to admit it, but I knew the truth. She slept like shit at the hospital and I spent most nights watching her. I needed this as much as she did. I began to drift off and inhaled deeply, this time feeling my chest relax enough to expand. And it felt … good.
Chapter 24 The Exception, Not the Norm
“Dr. P, you’re getting some guns, girl, damn.”
Tal smiled at Julius as she continued to curl the free weight into her chest. We were five and a half weeks into our six-week daily home rehab routine. And my woman was driven.
“Looking good, Teeps. You guys working on abs or legs today?” Julius was strict when it came to keeping Tal’s legs as strong as her arms. Not only did he continually stretch her to avoid spastic contractions, he also made sure she put her entire body weight on her legs as often as possible. Two weeks in, we invested in parallel bars where she would stand unassisted while his assistant moved her legs, mimicking the walking motion. This exercise was extremely important, not only for preventing muscle atrophy, but posture enhancement, as well as to increase circulation and maintain joint integrity.
“Legs, big man. We’re good here. I’ve got her. If you need to run some errands or something I got an extra hour for her today.”
“Nah, I got some work in my office. Thanks, though.” We had our entire day mapped out start to finish and this was when I caught up on emails and made some calls. Suzie was holding down the firm while I focused on my more important job. Yeah, the health aide never happened, and Tack definitely took that as his opportunity to tease me about my credentials’ exponential growth. I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
“Ace, why don’t you go? Julius and Karry will stay till you get back. Go to the gym.” Tempting, but I wasn’t leaving her. Not yet. It was too soon.
“I’m good, Teeps. Really.”
Instead, I retreated back to my new home office that took up most of the guest room and banged out three sets of fifty push-ups. I needed to keep up my arm strength, too. I never wanted Tal to think I couldn’t lift her with ease. I wiped my brow and plopped in my chair, tapping on my screen. Funny how Chase just texted a few minutes ago asking me to hit the ring. He’d have to deal. We needed a few more weeks at least. I wasn’t ready to mess with our routine. It worked. Up before seven, showered and dressed by eight, breakfast over by eight thirty, physical therapy nine to eleven thirty, lunch by noon. A stroll outside, but back by two for round two. Some days, massage; others, occupational therapy till four, then time to start dinner. During the week it was usually just the two of us, but weekends were generally filled with the fam. Our night routine varied—sometimes a show, other times a movie, some nights we read, but we always ended in each other’s arms.
A week and three days ago, Tal had a breakthrough. A good one, no, actually a great one. It was after dinner but before our TV time, Tal insisted on a second shower. I walked away to grab a new bottle of shampoo when I heard her shrill. I flew back to meet a humongous smile. She said she wiggled her right big toe. We were both ecstatic, to say the least. This often meant that the brain may be starting to transport signals through the nerve pathways connecting to the muscles. Unfortunately, she’d had nothing since. Tal avoided the topic altogether and whenever I brought it up she fired back with, ‘Doesn’t mean anything, Asher. I did it once, but it might never happen again. I have to live with that—more importantly, be okay with that.’ That one wiggle seemed to have really set us back. Tal was shutting down.
“Your girl rocked today, my man. Getting stronger and stronger. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s benching me soon.” Julius winked at Tal and flashed his peace out goodbye.
His PT aid, Karry, rolled her eyes as she closed the door behind them. I laughed. Julius was so over-the-top positive I got the reason behind the eye roll. Tal didn’t seem to mind, whatever made her happy.
“Let’s eat at that new little cafe down at the end of our block. It looks so nice today.” She was in a really good mood today. I looked at my watch, already twelve forty-five. We needed to be back for OT at two.
“We don’t have much time before OT. I don’t want to be rushing.”
“Fuck OT.” I stopped mid-stride and felt the circumference of my eyes dilate. Number one, Tal hardly ever swore, and number two, we had never canceled a therapy session.
“What?”
“You heard me. I’m canceling it today. I want to put on a tank top, burn the top of my shoulders, and eat like a normal person on a sidewalk in August. It’s practically Labor Day and I have yet to enjoy summer.”
I continued to stare at her, trying to process this very convoluted statement with more meaning than anything she’d said in weeks.
“You don’t burn your shoulders. You’re crazy about sunscreen.”
She angled her chair toward our bedroom and wheeled away. I sucked in a sharp breath and rattled off a string of expletives in my head.