And that wasn’t it, in fact, that shit was getting old. If she was so worried, she’d be in my bed. I wasn’t shot. I wasn’t rolling around in a chair. Tack gave me the minute to stew, and then squeezed my shoulder on his way out. “Gym tomorrow? Gotta see this iron chin I keep hearing about. And it’d be nice to see someone knock my long lost brother off his high horse. Wow, you weren’t kidding, he’s an arrogant motherfucker.”
I shook my head and smirked, partial relief settling in. Yeah, Tack and I were still solid. “You got it. See you at six. And have fun tonight.”
He cockily raised his brow in an all too familiar way. “Oh, I will.” Son of a bitch, he might’ve been a Colton clone, but he sounded just like me. And I wasn’t too proud to admit that I loved it.
He strode out and I was left wondering, again, why Tal was doing this to us. A firm hand smacked my upper back, pulling me from my reverie. Not them too—since when was I the party killer?
Dodd bumped my fist and rolled his eyes. “Sorry man, we’re out too. Long day.” Man code for his woman said let’s go. “You got Lil?”
He obviously knew the answer, but I couldn’t blame him. I would’ve asked too.
“Definitely, man. I’ll make sure she gets home.”
Sierra popped out of the suite’s private bathroom in time to put her two cents in. “That’s the least you can do.” I would’ve been taken back by the harshness of her tone, or not because it was Sierra, but I was momentarily distracted by the bump that was now crazy visible. “I know, I’m freaking huge. Don’t remind me.”
She rubbed her protuberant belly and I almost laughed. Almost. Instead I said, “You look gorgeous, Sier.”
“Well, no offense, but you look like shit.”
“Umm … good to know.” What else did you say to that? She wasn’t wrong. I felt like shit too.
“How about you do something about it, like dig your head out of your ass? We miss our girl.” Nothing like kicking a guy when he’s down. Sierra half walked, half waddled and pulled me down for a peck on the cheek. In a softer voice she said, “We miss our Green Giant, too.”
I filed that whole exchange away to process at a later date, helped myself to a Heineken, and joined Lil on the open air balcony. We were high above the crowds, with only a short wall of glass separating us from the screaming chaos, yet we sat in silence. I glanced down, taking it all in. Two-two. It could go either way.
“Go figure, Bruins-Rangers. Kind of ironic,” I said to no one, thinking of how it reminded me of my life, and not just the NY and Boston part. It could go either way.
Lil stood on her spikes, wobbled a second then clicked her way up the two stairs.
“Where ya going?” I called after her.
She gave me the one minute finger, so I sunk into the leather and tried to lose myself in the blur of the puck.
When she returned she handed me her wine glass (women and their total disregard for barware) with a familiar amber liquid. “Try this instead.” Her other hand held the half full bottle.
“Don Julio 1942, hmm, when did you start drinking Tequila neat?”
She shrugged her shoulders and looked down at the ice. “When I lost my margarita partners.” The Don Julio explained her buzz. Her answer explained her mood. I shot back the Tequila and poured another. I needed to catch up.
“Want to talk about it?”
Her sad eyes said more than her words. “Not so much, you?”
I kicked my feet out, swirled my last sip, appreciating the sweet aroma of agave and oak. It went down smooth, I’d give her that, but it wasn’t scotch. Nothing else was.
Lil broke first. “Dodd won’t have sex with Sierra because she’s pregnant, meanwhile Dr. Sexy can’t seem to keep his hands off me. How’s that for ironic? Because if he distracts me with sex for the next five months, maybe I’ll forget that I’m not pregnant.” Lil was almost as bad as me, get us alone and shit flew from our mouths.
“Wow, I’m not gonna even pretend to have a clue what you guys are dealing with, but you’ve got to know he only wants to-”
Lil cut me off before I had a chance to finish. “Oh, let me guess—protect me.” Good guess. “Yes, I got a little choked up the first time the babies kicked and saw Chase’s hands on Sierra’s belly, not mine. It was a natural response, my god, of course I wish it were me carrying our twins, but it’s not, and I have to deal. And I am. Hell, I’m the one who grabbed his hands to feel … but it doesn’t mean it’s okay to make excuses, miss ultrasound appointments, and avoid Sierra like the plague. How is that protecting me? He’s just missing out on this part of us. Not to mention Sierra is my best friend and giving us the most amazing gift.”
Her voice was laced with pain and I suddenly felt like a selfish prick. “Lil, I had no idea. But don’t worry, I’m sure Sierra gets it. She knows Chase.”
“Of course she gets it.” Lil rolled her frustrated eyes and re-poured like it was in fact wine. “She gets that Dodd doesn’t want her to blame herself if anything happens with this pregnancy, just like Tal gets that you want to make everything easier for her. We get it. We freaking get it. Maybe, just maybe, all of you need to get that we don’t need a savior, we need a partner.”
The roar of the crowd fell on deaf ears. I might as well have been the skater helmetless and bleeding on the ice, I felt like I got checked from behind. Having Tal thrown in my face pummeled me.
Lil gasped and her hand immediately covered her mouth. “Ash, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean … I shouldn’t have brought up Tal.”
“It’s fine.” Fine.
“No, it’s not.” Her eyes welled, tugging at my heart. “God, it’s so not fine. Everything is so messed up and it’s all my fault to begin with. Tal would’ve never been hurt, he was after me.”
“You can’t be serious.” She needed to vent, fine, but she was not going down this road. “I’m gonna say this once. What happened that day in your apartment is one hundred percent on that psycho. Got me? You saw firsthand what guilt can do to a person, your guy almost drowned in it. It’s a wasted emotion so don’t even go there. If anyone should be dishing out apologies, it should be me. They say you treat the people you’re closest to the worst during times of stress. Well, that day in the hospital, it’s no excuse—I was way out of line. It should’ve never taken me three months to say I’m sorry.”
“No, no, no. You can’t go and apologize to me. Fuck, I’m a shit drunk and a worse friend … what in the world, you’d think I was hormonal.” She stared at me with unwarranted remorse.
“Did you just drop the f-bomb, gorgeous?”
Surprise replaced regret and Lil broke out into a fit of laughter. I joined her. And it even felt good. I took the glass from her dainty hand and pounded it. Why not.
My back squished into the plush stadium couch and I relaxed for the first time in who knows how long. Who was I kidding? I knew exactly how long. Thirteen long ass weeks.
Lil wiped her tears and she slunk a little deeper too. “It’s gonna work out, you know that, right? For all of us.”
Damn, she sounded like she believed, but then again, there wasn’t any other option.
“Mr. Craig, there are two minutes left for this sequence, you’re doing great.” The voice through the speaker interrupted the rapid firing clicks, tinks and bangs. Screw drums, it was like listening to someone wail on an industrial steel can, repeatedly. And did she really need to keep counting down minutes—who thought that was a good idea? “Ok, we’re going to inject the contrast now, you may feel a cool sensation in your arm, please hold still. There are three more sequences to go, then your MRI will be complete.”